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Share your quitting journey

The Great Pretender 51/90

PastTense
Member
4 11 128

Quitting is hard. That sentence is the entirety of my blog distilled into one thought. It’s just stinking hard and it’s hard for a long time.

It’s hard because we are fighting addiction.

It’s hard because we are fighting habit.

It’s hard because we have adjusted our entire lives around smoking – whether or not we realize we are doing it.

Sometimes it takes several attempts before your quit sticks. Let me be completely honest here: it took many several many dozen attempts for MY quit to stick.

This blog is for all my fellow quitters who are having a tough time sticking. You may just be lurking here on the forum, but staying hidden. Maybe you started taking the pledge but stopped because you broke your quit and after the first couple of times were just too embarrassed to come back.   Maybe you plan on making yourself known when you have some solid time to boast. Maybe you were (are) a closet smoker and can’t reach out for help and support because that would blow your cover.

I feel your pain and frustration and embarrassment. I feel you because I am you.

I started my quit in March of 2019. I just stopped posting my quit date because it moved so often. I didn’t want to admit to slipping. I didn’t want to hear the advice and wise counsel of the long-time quitters here. This was an error of hubris.

We all get to our quit by different routes. I took the long way to find the right way. It took me 6 months to admit that the way I was trying to quit wasn’t working. It took me another 3 months to figure out something different to try. The entire time I knew I was searching for a way to quit but I felt like an imposter through the whole process.

You know what would have worked from the get-go if I had done it? Posting every day. Yep. Posting. Every. Day. It takes courage and humility to post your DOF every single day. Food for thought for the serial quitters.

For as long as it takes you

For as often as you need to start over

Keep quitting until you are quit

Keep the quit.

PT

12 DOF

11 Comments
AnnetteMM
Member

Wonderful and inspiring!!  Let's talk about Hard Things. We've all done them. We didn't just skate through our lives stress-free, did we?  Did we get a degree? Organize a wedding? Experience death and grieving? Have children, then see them do dumb things? Hard stuff! And here we are, still plugging away. If you think back into your life at all those Hard Things you've done, this is no different. It's a Hard Thing. You can do it!

marktwain1-2x.jpg

Barbscloud
Member

This really tells it like it is for many.  Many folks are embarrassed when they fail at their attempt to quit.   Feeling like you've let other's and yourself down, can be self-defeating, but it is normal to have those feelings.  That's one of the things that's great about the Ex.  Support is here, if you truly have the desire to quit.  Never give up.

Barb

YoungAtHeart
Member

Your blog reminded me of the phrase, "Fake it until you make it."  Applies to a smile, to a mood, and, perhaps, to being willing to quit?

Good food for thought here!

sweetplt
Member

Happy Friday PastTense it is so true...this is my third and last quit ... and maybe the other two quits were really me slipping and quitting...this quit, I have found a sense of freedom and liking me...I know in time it will be less of a struggle for you too...keep it going....and have a good day...~ Colleen 417 DOF 

SuzyQ411
Member

I found your blog post most helpful PastTense‌ but can't see where to mark it as so...??

Anyway, I'm at Day 18 and seem to be hitting some rough spots myself. In fact, I was going to blog soon about what's going on, but will just go ahead and do it now: extremely frequent thoughts of smoking.

Today I left early without eating breakfast and was sure that was the problem for the nagging thoughts: I was hungry.  So, when I got home I ate a bowl of my high (plant) protein cereal with some extra chopped walnuts and a few slices of banana, smothered in 1% milk. Tasted great but that didn't hold back the return of this edgy longing I'm feeling.

I am now doing deep breathing and holding my precious object, a small wooden cross, to aid in relieving these feelings.

I am on my 18th day following a return after a relapse in December. So I understand what you wrote about. I read and research daily on addiction as a way of strengthening myself and increasing my understanding. Bottom line, I know the greatest tool is sticking to the one spelled NOPE. And I am fighting against "white knuckling" this quit like I painfully succumbed to in my recent one. It had become a tug of will-power which does not tend to foster long-term abstinence.

And so, I write to say that for some reason out of the blue, I have started to struggle. 

In the blog I plan to write later today, I will be exploring the use of self-regulation techniques to manage such impulses. The information comes via today's inbox newsletter from verywell. Once I read the material. I will write the blog, in hopes the suggestions they offer will be of benefit to others as well.

Thanks again for your post! And, let's agree to hang in there~

PastTense
Member

Let's stick together, SuzyQ411‌.  We are stronger together.  I'm looking forward to your post on self-regulation.  I have a terrible time with impulse control in many parts of my life. 

Whatever it takes

Keep the quit

PT

Swanbird
Member

Thank you all for your words!  Where can I get this newsletter?

SuzyQ411
Member

Verywell Mind - Know More. Live Brighter. This page gives you the option to sign up for their newsletter. Enjoy Swanbird🙂

SuzyQ411
Member

Whoops! Got caught up in US National Women's free-skate. A great relaxing diversion for me. So, the post on self-regulation may not come until later this weekend PastTense‌. But, here is the article if you want to read it beforehand: 

https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/#inbox/FMfcgxwGCtLGsSLBpHFLpxHMPTFJCSfp 

Swanbird
Member

Thank you Q!

Suzanne Swanson

Sent from my iPhone

AnnetteMM
Member

I can never catch all of that great skating. So fun to watch!