The First Step, Followed By Another

[Twist]

I know quitting is going to be hard.  I've been trying for two months now to just even cut back and haven't had much success.  So I decided I needed to pull out the big guns and at least join a community.  It's a good time to start because I live in a house where over half of the people smoke (inside even!) and one of the heaviest smokers is going to be gone all next week.  One of my big triggers is when someone else starts to smoke.  I've likened it to yawning, I hear that little snick of a lighter and smell the smoke and I'm immediately reaching for a cigarette myself.  It's so bad that seeing someone smoke on television does it too.

I currently smoke about a pack a day and started smoking almost exactly two years ago.  I smoke in my car while driving, I smoke when I'm stressed, I smoke after I eat a meal, I smoke when I'm working, and I smoke around friends who are also smoking.  Even talking about it right now is making me want to smoke.

I named this post the way I did because last night I watched the documentary I Am Alive, which was about the 1972 plane crash into the Andes where the survivors were lost for more than two months.  Finally three of them set out on foot, determined to find help, one of them eventually going back to the plane wreckage with the other survivors while the other two continued to walk out of the mountains.  They covered 40 miles in only ten days, which doesn't sound like a lot except it was at altitudes of 15,000 feet, through snow, and up literal sides of mountains.  Climbing the first mountain alone took them three days.

But one thing that struck me was that they knew they couldn't give up, they had to keep walking, even if it was just one step at a time.  So that's how I'm going to take this.  One step at a time, to be followed by another step.  Surely this will be easier than trying to hike out of the Andes mountains and into Chile during December without any survival gear and after basically starving for two months.

So, step one:  Don't have any more cigarettes before I go to sleep in an hour or two.

[anaussiemom]

[indingrl]

Welcome and CONGRATS AND GOOD JOB - ONE STEP AT A TIME! YAHOOOOOO AND WAY TO GO!

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to the Ex.  Congrats on your decision to quit.  If you haven't yet, pick a quit date and prepare and educate yourself prior to your quit.  Understanding this addiction has made such difference for me.  The support on this site and amazing and we know you can do it  If you need help, reach out.  We're here to support you on your journey through the Andes.

Barb

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Good for you!

for others who are cutting back

Consciously cutting back is torture.

Here's what I did that is simple and easy without ever torturing yourself..

Every time I wanted to smoke I just said to myself, "I'm going to wait a little longer."

I never denied myself one cigarette and I never counted how many I was smoking a day

In 4 weeks I had gone from 20 a day to 5 a day.

I had also proven I did not need to smoke just because I thought of smoking.

I was ready.

Getting off autopilot is much easier this way

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

You've got the right idea - this quit thing is accomplished a minute, an hour at a time in the beginning.  They add up to days, those add up to weeks and eventually to YEARS!

 I would ask, at the very least, that your housemates not smoke in front of you. You might make yourself a cozy place in the house all to yourself and mostly stay THERE in the beginning.  If it's at all possible, I would ask your housemates to smoke outside.  Keeping that smoke inside is harmful to you AND to them, keeping everyone breathing it 24 x 7.  I would also ask them to keep their cigarettes and ashtrays out of sight.  I hope they will support you in this effort.

I was not able to cut back to a specific timetable or number of cigarettes a day, either.  Trying to do so had me bargaining with myself and thinking about them ALL the time.  Not doing so did not harm my quit.  I accomplished it on my first and only to at it.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. You can search for it online or at your local library. Here's a link to a video here on the site which describes nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.
 
 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site.
 
 After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort.  I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  I do not recommend the e-cigarette for three reasons: 1) the vapor has been compared to the polluted air in Bejing on a bad day, 2) they just provide another nicotine delivery system while continuing the hand to mouth smoking motion, and 3) the batteries can spontaneously catch on fire. . But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.
 
The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.
 
Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[sweetplt]

Hello and Welcome to EX's twist Glad you found us...truthfully, we are all addicts and can only "take it one step at a time"...sometimes "moment to moment"...but in time...it gets so much better.  If you haven't already, I suggest you read at  My Quit Plan it truly helps to gain knowledge during the quit...this site covers every aspect.  Keep busy and avoid all that smoke in your house if possible.  Stay close to the site if you need help...Gotcha in my Thoughts ~ Colleen 94 DOF

[elvan]

Welcome to EX and congratulations on recognizing that this is a one step at a time journey.  I am so sorry that you live in a household where others smoke but I do not think that dooms you to fail.  Not sure if you feel that you can ask them to smoke OUTSIDE to help support you.  It seems like that would be helpful to them as well.  It is unhealthy to smoke AND it is unhealthy to be around others who are smoking.  Stop smoking in your car, stop smoking in your house...those are things you can easily do and they will remind you that you are on this journey.  Education about nicotine addiction is vital and you have gotten great advice above.  Support from others who have been where you are will be incredibly helpful to you, AND, your own commitment and attitude will get you to freedom.  We all want you to succeed and we will all do whatever we can to help you.  Stay close to the site.

Ellen

[muir2000]

Welcome!

My Quit is one week old, so I'm right there with you.

My journey began in kind of the same way. I was cutting down, anticipating a specific quit date. I had what turned out to be my last cigarette at 10:30 on a Wednesday night. Woke up Thursday and realized that I haven't smoked for 8 hrs...took a shower (step 1) got dressed (step 2) and then realized I haven't smoked for 8.75 hrs. Got in the car and went to work (step 3) and realized I haven't smoked for 9.5 hrs. Continued this pattern until I made it to 10:30 on Thursday night. It was 24 hrs at that point and I was hooked on quitting. 

One day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time...you'll get there. You have wonderful support and resources here. I'm still learning about all of them myself.

As Dr. Leo Marvin says...Baby Steps

[OldBones-Larry]

One step, and then another, will get you to where you want to be.

Larry the Caravan Master

[Twist]

Thanks for all the support guys.

To answer a few questions:

    The guys in my house are absolutely unwilling to smoke outside and are adamant about smoking anywhere they want.  And since I'm couch surfing and basically live in the living room, I can't really escape it.  At least not by staying in the living room.  I could always go to a different room, but one of my roomies is a two pack a day smoker, and with three other people smoking in the house, someone always has a cigarette lit.  My boyfriend is supportive of me quitting and has agreed to give me little reminders and to help distract me, but he lives out of state so it's kind of long distance support.  He's a former smoker though, so he at least understands the struggle and assured me that the cravings do get better.  He says even 10 years later he sometimes wants a cigarette but it's a brief thought to which he scoffs and doesn't think about it again for months, so clearly not an annoyance anymore.

     I'm not sure I want to use a quit aid yet, but if I do it will probably be the patch.  I tried vaping once and I immediately hated it.  It wasn't satisfying, it made me cough, I just didn't like it.  And I agree it's not really a quitting aid, it's more like a 'I don't smoke now, I vape'.  Which happened to a couple of my other friends.  They quit smoking cigarettes but now they fog up their house like a lake in spring.  And I know if I used the gum or something like that I'd just addict myself to that instead by chewing it all the time.  I'm looking to cut nicotine out entirely, not switch the source of the addiction.

   Quitting is still not going well, but my quit date isn't here yet so I'll be taking the tips you gave me and really get cracking again.  Cheers!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Constantly being around smoking is going to be big a challenge. Put some vicks or mentholatum under your nose. If they realize you are doing it, it will work on them. Smokers don't get to smoke, THEY HAVE TO SMOKE.

Once they understand that's them, you never know what will happen.

I used the patch until I forgot two days in a row the end of my second week, then, I put one in my wallet with the promise I would put it on rather than smoke. It stayed there my first year but, I never thought of using it once.