As of late, it seems our society measures the success within the first 100 days of doing anything. One of the interview questions I was asked when applying for my current position was, “what do you plan on accomplishing in the first 100 days.” In retrospect, I very well would’ve said, “quit smoking”, which I’ve learned is possibly the easiest, yet most incorrect, answer out there. What is the correct answer; as you will find on the Ex and on the web, there are many ways to assist in quitting, but there is only 1 way to quit and that is to not smoke anymore. Here, I will shed light on my way out of the abyss.
A quick introduction to Jdeering for those who may read this and not know me. My name is Jon, I did not start smoking until I joined the military; even then, I only “acted” like I was smoking for the extra breaks the smokers received. It was not long before my “Leadership” noticed I wasn’t smoking; instead of promoting a healthy way of living, they boldly stated, “you’re not smoking, you don’t get the break.” I showed them! Before I knew it, I was hooked, I really showed them. This tenacity plays a much more important part in quitting than it did in starting.
I’ve had many quit attempts, some more successful than others, all of them ended in relapse… Until Now. I’m just shy of 20 years of military service (January 2020) and, while I have 6 years until I retire from the service, I always had the goal to be smoke free by my 20-year mark. Many of these “Marks” have come and gone over the years, such as the quit by the time I’m 30 or every New Year’s resolution since I began smoking 18 years ago. So many quits and dates had come and gone; there was always something missing and I would beat up on myself for my inability to shake this Habit. Each failure further pulling me into the dark of the hopeless abyss. I did not live there alone, but in the dark and cold, with everyone living in their own heads, you feel alone there; You feel helpless!
Fast forward to late June, 2019… in the smoking circle outside of work, other Soldiers present and I am now the “Leader.” I often would hide to smoke, find a quiet lonely place, one that mirrored how I felt on the inside. This time I was outside smoking not alone and yet, I felt that I should be and felt guilty for smoking in front of these young men. The great State of Illinois was increasing its corrupt government income structure at the cost of many things come July 1, 2019, one of those taxes that would be implemented was $1.00/pack of cigarettes. This became my motivation, this allowed me to spur these young men into action, this initiated a quit; we came together and decided we would not buy cigarettes past July 1st and will not give our greedy government another darned dollar. I finished off my last pack purchased prior to the July 1st tax increase midday July 2nd. If you know my quit date, and you have also blown a quit date, then you know the dark place I sunk to as I held onto the “Habit”.
I promised, only 1 more pack and I am done. Come July 3rd, 2019 at approximately 2000 hours (that is 8 PM 
) I smoked my last cigarette for an eternity; I had an extended weekend due to Independence Day and some time off I had taken. I was determined that I would not smoke over the next 7 days! Time at home was always the easiest; I would, as you could imagine, slip away from everyone to smoke. They all knew but I somehow thought I was protecting them by doing it out of sight. I would always smoke less when I was at home, so this became an easy time to start my quit. The weekend was a blur, I successfully kept my self-busy, but I haphazardly muddled through it. I did not have a plan and I began to panic knowing that I was on thin ice that could break at any time. I needed something and I found what I had been missing, I found the Ex; enter into my life, the Sexy Exers, ALL of you beautiful people!
Somehow, I made it through the first 4 days into my quit blind to what I was facing. I posted about a Ted Talk video that discussed overcoming a “Habit”. Nancy (@youngatheart), pointed out I was not breaking a “Habit” I was in the midst of combat with an “ADDICTION.” So profound of a thought; I became combative with sweet, dear Nancy, because “ADDICTION.” “I’m not an addict” I thought, but then it happened, a seed was planted and the thought would be watered and nurtured by a loving and understanding group of people. I almost immediately began reading at www.whyquit.com, this became eye opening and, while I had been reading about quitting, it was the first I began to understand the true nature of my own “ADDICTION.”
The first week I had taken off and spent time building a bookcase for my daughter. As part of the money I was saving, I purchased a new Joint Jig. This was not an expensive reward; it was symbolic of my accomplishment up to that point. I had saved enough money in the first 6 days to purchase a tool, that I didn’t need, but became very helpful for that project. The first $50.00 spent productively versus destructively. On the 7th day of my quit, I headed back to work, this became day one all over again. “One time I picked up my stuff to go smoke, was half towards the door and realized, I don’t smoke anymore” the best part of this note I recorded, “I wasn’t even disappointed.”
I began to come around with the advice given by the community, I picked up Allen Carr’s “Easyway to Quit Smoking” and prepared my bags for a training exercise. With 14 days under my belt, I was going into the biggest test of my quit, the “field.” Essentially, this is the time we head out and train. “HALT” is an acronym used by the Ex, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired are the moments we are most likely to relapse. The “field” will trigger all of these, but it hits especially hard on the Angry and Tired.
I almost immediately told a good friend of mine that I quit but I wanted to see how long it would take him to notice. So, I began the game, and within the first 20 minutes he noticed; I wondered how he recognized so quickly than, but now it does not seem like such a feat. I would normally smoke more under the circumstances and almost always ask if he wanted to smoke one (he was a social smoker). He did seem to know what I did not, that I was going to be successful in quitting; he had been waiting for the day. I ensured I allied myself with people along the way, that they knew I did not smoke any longer, and I like that, there were many people watching out for my fragile quit.
The following is presented as mostly raw data; since I entered it while I was in the field, there were errors due to swipe. The content has remained the same but I did make a few small changes to grammar or misspellings for clarity.
18 jul- AT day 2, little sleep and training is a trigger, doing well, I will continue to become who I was before I started smoking. Got an hour nap, helped a lot. Still had multiple cravings after the nap. Didn't smoke any. Used get through the next 15 minutes, next day mantra successfully. thought in depth on why I would want to cheat on my quit. only logical reason is because I can and I can get away with it. then thought about how horrible I would feel after and how shortly I would be up to a pack. Training has been a cheat period in the past, which led to great periods of smoking before getting the courage up to quit again. I don't feel I should subjugate myself to the torture. I've also started a new mantra, I think it is new, but it may have been breezed on any one of the sites I frequent to keep from smoking. The urge to not smoke will soon outweigh the urge to smoke. I usually started this after saying to myself to get through the next 15 minutes. 19 - jul definitely getting easier to not smoke and divert my attention. 20 jul - the overall desire to smoke has severely reduced here at training. Each day is getting easier and I am glad I'm not a smoker anymore! The Joy of quitting! 23 jul - Easier by the day 24 jul - had a particularly interesting trigger, which hit just after completing a particularly difficult task. Reward? 25 jul - I'm guessing at how many cravings I have anymore, they are neither long or intense, usually fleeting thoughts at best. I don't put much energy into identifying why anymore, I noticed a repetitive sequence and decided to just forget about them at this point. cigarettes do not own me anymore! 29 jul - I'm not having cravings anymore really, I think about them every so often, but that is all 30 jul - everyday is easier, I'm no longer a smoker!
I’m No Longer a Smoker!
I don’t have any more entries into my personal journal on my quit smoking application minus an entry of using some of my “smoking savings account” to purchase a grill. July 30th, 2019, we would’ve retrograded from the field and started to recover our equipment for movement back to home station. It was during this period Redman (or Woman if you need) was born. My mentality had changed; I was no longer quitting, I viewed myself as a quitter. The proverbial light bulb clicked and I knew I was done. Of course, I still think about smoking at times. There are times I still think about my first girlfriend, but the chances of me rekindling that flame are about the same as me smoking another cigarette. While it will take a year for me to become an “elder”, I do not need that validation because I already know I am there. Every quit is different, perhaps some it will take more than the 27 day mark to know, but there will also be those who know in less time. Our journeys all have the same destination but the paths to get there are different.
There are many things along the way that I would contribute my success; I will speak of 2 of them here. These 2 things are perhaps the most important two things one can have in their quit. First, start out with a great attitude and come back to that attitude whenever you can. Attitude is everything and reframing is necessary; practice this. Second, have a community! The Sexy Exers worked for me but perhaps your community needs are different. Find or create that community.
Third, which I previously said there were only 2 but this is important, do not rely on the friends that are quitting with you! I quit with 3 people, the other 2 are smoking. These are the young Soldiers I rallied up to quit. I’ve attempted to get them to come to the Ex, I’ve attempted to continually make mention of their past attempts, and I have left them with, I will be here still when you are ready to start your journey.
I’ll leave you all with the same; I will be here for you when you are ready to start your journey. For those who are at their destination, I am happy to have arrived to such a beautiful group of people. Selfless and altruistic, I aim to follow in those footsteps as I embark on a new journey with you. A journey to be the light in the dark of the hopeless abyss for those who are seeking to find their way out of their own heads. Stay Sexy my friends!
