The Difference Between My Rational and Emotional Sides

[finy0535]

Today is my 4th day without smoking. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I was and am prepared for the withdrawal. I armed myself with water and gum, with phone numbers of friends I could turn to. I had a plan for each craving. But what I wasn't prepared for was the emotional side of quitting. 

I'm irritable and moody. I'm snapping at people for no reason and feeling like I want to cry. All the while the rational part of my brain is screaming at me. "Get it together", it says, "this is only temporary. It's going to get easier. And that poor coworker you just yelled at didn't actually do anything wrong. And she certainly isn't the reason you can't smoke right now, so maybe it's time to go buy her a cookie to apologize."

But the emotional side of my brain continues to rage on. Unabated by the reasonable arguments from the rational side of my brain. 

It's starting to get to me. Not "I give up I'm smoking again" get to me, but it's just so frustrating feeling and seeing and hearing yourself do things that two seconds later you know are caused by your withdrawal. I can't focus, I'm not sleeping well, I'm constantly anxious. Plus I'm peeing every five seconds because of all the water I am drinking to combat the cravings. 

Have the rest of you felt this way too? How did you deal with it? Right now I just want to curl up in a ball under my office desk and cry. I just don't want to smoke anymore. 

[james41]

You should feel better now that you've talked about it and it will come and go. Talk to yourself and think of the positives, think of how time usually flies I say usually cause I know it seems slow to you now ,, IT WILL GET BETTER!!! I promise!

Thanks for your inspirational blog

James

[bella65]

im going threw it still and frid/.will be my 4mth of not smoking im growing threw alot emotionaly its like loosing your best friend only it isnt your true best friend really i went threw yelling at my kids.blaming them for my quit and being orinary i was going threw and emotional roller coaster ride and it wasnt pretty i got help from my doctor though.so its starting to work.you will be fine keep drinking water and chew your gum.wish  i wouldve drank more water.but im glad i quite my urges have been so strong lately and have been having dreams about smoking sucks.but i keep buisy and it passes good luck to and congrats on 4 days.

[AutumnWoman]

Remember that this is your first week (there's a reason they call it Hell Week!), so it makes sense to take it slow -- easy does it, but do it, eh?  If you're feeling teary at work, take yourself to the ladies room while you get it out of your system.  That way you don't have to deal with professional repercussions of crying on the job.  As far as sleep and water consumption go, those things will balance out over the next few weeks.  If you're a caffeine user, you might want to cut back for a while, in the interest of sleep and bathroom breaks.  If you haven't read the blogs, now might be a good time to start, so you can see how other people dealt with the early part of their quits.  But remember this:  YOU ARE DOING THIS!  Your discomfort will pass and things DO get easier.

[choptrice]

this site is just what you need  talk scream cry eat drink just do not smoke cuz you will have to do this all over again so get it over with and before you know it it will be wed your 5th day  then your 10th day then your 20th day.  Time does keep ticking we are here for you  and it does get better  promise  stay strong ex buddy   lesa

[dawn4]

I ABSOLUTELY remember what you are describing!!!!!  And it is one more reason why i can never ever ever go back!!!!!  You are withdrawing from one of the most powerful drugs that we know of.  My suggestion is to be as kind as you possibly can be to ...........YOU!!!!!!   Go home and lock yourself in your bedroom and put a "do not disturb" sign on the door;  have a cup of tea; take a bubble bath or put yer jammies on and watch a funny movie and laugh out loud or a sad movie and just sob; go to Spunkies page and watch the "STOP VIDEO"; shave your legs,  pray, scream.................WHATEVER IT TAKES to get through. 

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

[greg42]

Oh yeah!  I went through that all right.  Cost me a few friends, my reputation at work, almost my marriage, but hey I quit smoking.  I got my reputation back at work, most the friends except those that were jerks to start out with, and my marriage is back on track.  So go ahead and get mad.  Get mad at those cigarettes for putting you through this.  Then buy the cookies next week.  Everyone will understand when you have smoking behind you and you're a new person.  They will even be proud of you.

[anacondahead]

The 4th day is fantastic!!!! You are so close to being over the worst of it.

I am on day 301 and I know I would not be here without my little friend, Ativan. I do not like taking drugs but I knew I would need something to curb my anxiety and that little pill did it for me. I only took one pill, on the first day of my quit and Oh My Gosh was that a mellow day! (No wonder people abuse drugs. I was a happy little camper.) By the second day  I was committed to the wonderful change I had made in my life and moved forward as a new ex-smoker. I have never looked back and I am thrilled to be smoke-free for 301 days.

It got easier and easier each day. Quitting is as hard or as easy as you make it. You are in charge of your quit and your destiny. Man up. Move on. Stop snappin'.

[finy0535]

Wow, you guys are fantastic. Thank you so much.

@James - you were spot on. Just by writing it out I felt a little more sane. And it got better and better as I continued to read through these comments. 

@bella65 congratulations on winning the battle for the last 4 months. 

@Sheryl - I am SUPER lucky that my boss is a former smoker as well. He's been incredibly supportive, and all of my coworkers have been great - so hopefully no professional reprecussions on the horizon. My boss actually texts me randomly throughout the day - even after hours - with little words of encouragement like "You can do this" or "Don't light that cigarette you're thinking about, you're better than that." I'm super lucky to work with such great people. 

@choptrice - you're totally right, I am so glad I found this website. It's wonderful to know I can come here to air all this stuff out! Thanks for listening/responding!

@dawn - a super good point. I can't ever go back because I don't EVER want to go through this again. Now I can't wait to go home and put on my jammies 🙂

@greg - so glad to hear the reputation, friends, and marriage all came out on the other side of this. That definitely gives me hope! 

@anacondahead - wow! 301! congratulations! I can't wait until I'm that far along and can look at this day and think "Look at how far I've come!" Here's to tomorrow being easier than today. 

[i_can_do_this]

So, the commercials for the NRT lozenges (sp?) are dumb, but a little true. Quitting SUCKS! I ripped off my husband's head more than once the first week, just because he was trying to "help" me do the dishes?!?!? In moments of clarity, write a short note to yourself and keep it with you. Have it say anything you need it to such as why you are quiting, what you can accomplish by quiting, how much money you can save by quiting whatever is motivation for you.  On the other side write a simple statement such as "I am quiting smoking. I am sorry for my behavior, but a few days of frustration is worth the rest of my life. Please bear with me, I shall return shortly." When you freak out at someone, take a deep breathe, pull out the note, and hold it up so that you can read your motivation and the other person can understand why you are freaking out. I found that people become VERY understanding when they realize you aren't neccessarily freaking out at them, they just happen to be in your space when you had an meltdown.

STAY STRONG, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

[mindy15]

OHHHHhhh YeaHHHH... I stayed in bed for 3 days wanting to scream at the neighbors for making noise in the yard...I wanted  to cry because I thought I was missing a friend...I knew I was doing the right thing for me and my health..oh but...I wanted to scream..On day 9 today and it is going smoother than I thought...The days are passing quicker than the first few...These feelings are only tempory....I just know that I DON'T WANT TO SMOKE...HOLD ON...IT GETS BETTER !!

[cheri17]

I actually read something that says if you just welcome the withdrawl...really feel what it feels like...examine it....it will lose its strength.  It really does work.  I know sometimes are really difficult..yesterday (day 4) was very hard...today day 5...much better.  Just hold on to your quit.  Remind yourself that when you smoked you didn't even like it...when you smoked all you wanted to do was quit...that should keep you away.  Needless to say, we will think of them often as if they were a friend we once had...but we won't miss them.  Remember...What we RESIST....PERSISTS!