Today is my 4th day without smoking. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I was and am prepared for the withdrawal. I armed myself with water and gum, with phone numbers of friends I could turn to. I had a plan for each craving. But what I wasn't prepared for was the emotional side of quitting.
I'm irritable and moody. I'm snapping at people for no reason and feeling like I want to cry. All the while the rational part of my brain is screaming at me. "Get it together", it says, "this is only temporary. It's going to get easier. And that poor coworker you just yelled at didn't actually do anything wrong. And she certainly isn't the reason you can't smoke right now, so maybe it's time to go buy her a cookie to apologize."
But the emotional side of my brain continues to rage on. Unabated by the reasonable arguments from the rational side of my brain.
It's starting to get to me. Not "I give up I'm smoking again" get to me, but it's just so frustrating feeling and seeing and hearing yourself do things that two seconds later you know are caused by your withdrawal. I can't focus, I'm not sleeping well, I'm constantly anxious. Plus I'm peeing every five seconds because of all the water I am drinking to combat the cravings.
Have the rest of you felt this way too? How did you deal with it? Right now I just want to curl up in a ball under my office desk and cry. I just don't want to smoke anymore.
