First of all I need to confess and apologize to The Caravan Master. I know that you found that you had two camels missing the day before yesterday. I also understand you were afraid Mr. Nicocreep had done something to them in retaliation of you opening a very large can of whoop a$$ on him. It wasn't Mr. Nicocreep and the camels are safe. I snuck them out of camp because I needed them to help me out and they were more than willing. Please Caravan Master forgive me as I used them to play a game of "Spit."
I was having a great Wednesday when all of a sudden I was blindsided by Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum, otherwise known as the Chief Compliance Officer and the Credit Underwriting Manager. Oh they made me so extremely angry and I was stressing out. I really wanted to give them a high five...in the face...with a chair, but I knew if I did that, I would get fired. I couldn't sic Mama Bear on them ( For those of you who don't know, Mama Bear is my boss) because she's in Mexico. Then it dawned on me, the camels!! They would be more than willing to give them both a nice shot of camel spit right in the eyeball! This would be perfect.
Then came the issue of getting them out of camp. How was I going to get their attention without drawing attention to myself? Camels have ESP? How does one speak Camel or is it Camelish or Cameliniese? Is there such a thing as a camel whisperer?
Who knew it would be as easy as chocolate!! Seems like chocolate will get them to do whatever you want! Guess they aren't that different from me, I'd do pretty much anything for chocolate or coffee...Starbucks...White Pepppermint Mocha...with...Oh I am sorry seemed to be having a squirrel moment.
I couldn't get over Dee and Dum screamin' like little girls as the camels chased them around the bank parking lot...it was priceless!
I will return the camels shortly Caravan Master, I promise. But as I went through this little episode of being thrown under a bus and then plotting out my revenge, the light bulb went on. There was a time after an episode like this would have happened, I would have found myself walking out the backdoor of the bank and chain smoking two right there. My moment was when I realized, I was so consumed with camels and their spit that not once did I think of smoking. And I thought to myself, I've just had a Candy moment. Well not just any moment, because I know at the moment she realized she didn't think about a cigarette after her heartbreaking, traumatic and scary experiences, it was more than just a moment, it was a big, it was huge, it was MONUMENTAL! From this day forward, from now to eternity, when you have this moment of clarity please remember you have just experienced a "Candy Monumental Moment" and oh my friends, it a beautiful thing!!
Thank you Candy for all you are and all you do! You are a very strong woman and such an inspiration that it is fitting that such a moment be named after you and you will go down in history!!
Alright my EX Family, we know what time it is right? I would be honored if you would all stand beside this tigress and ROAR as I ring in 80 days of fabulous FREEDOM! HUGS and love to you all!! 🙂
