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Share your quitting journey

Testing my smobriety

tburton1004
Member
2 6 285
‎05-28-2022 10:47 AM

Two weeks quit, as of tomorrow. I’m also flying back home tomorrow to spend more time with my dad, who’s declining rapidly. I love him with all my heart! We lost mom 4 years ago, and since then dad and I have grown really close. The thought of losing him crushes me.

I blew my quit when we visited in late April — I was so freaked out to see how dad had declined since we saw him at Christmas that I bought a pack out of sheer emotional stress and pain. 🤦

I’ve realized that emotional triggers are my real challenges. I’m feeling strong in my quit right now, sitting at home, but I honestly have trepidation about getting sucked back into that hole. If I get really sideways, I’ll call for HELP for sure.

I know I can do this; it’s just gonna be hard. So I have some butterflies in my gut.

Thanks for being there for me.

Namaste, Terry

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About the Author
I am a recently retired artist, educator, filmmaker, and all-around slightly domesticated wild child who loves to howl at the moon. I am the daughter of two nicotine addicts, and my mom was also an alcoholic. She found AA and reclaimed her authentic seIf. She paid it forward and helped countless others find their way through. She had been a smoker since her high school days, as had my dad, and quit when my dad was diagnosed with very early stage lung cancer in 1993. They both quit on the spot, over 30 years ago, but my dear mom passed away from stage 4 lung cancer in May 2018. My dad was virtually crippled by COPD the last couple of years and he passed March 2023. I miss them both so much. Smoking killed both of them. I vowed all my life that I would never smoke, so go figure, for some idiot reason I started smoking in 2009. Now I’m free. I enjoy building tables out of reclaimed wood and love working in my shop. I have a massive model train project that has “this will take YEARS” written all over it! I love gardening, camping, reading, and drawing. I am married to the best of wives and best of women, over 15 years now. We’re looking forward to travels and adventures and just being together in this wonderful state of retirement!