Good morning, today I have 10 days without smoking. I am grateful that I began this journey to Freedom, oh gosh the thoughts of all my out of control smoking behaviors in the past spur me on to wanting Freedom. I didn't realize the prison I had gotten myself into until now, as I struggle to put aside the negative talk in my own head, all of the faulty "reasons" I should turn back. The gum helps me a lot but last night, in the wee hours the self talk was rough. I am learning to talk back to the smoker in me, saying No way, never again. I've come this far, I won't turn back now. The addictive thinking last night was a bit disheartening, how low that voice wanted me to stoop, go through the big outside garbage can? Really? But I didn't and today I won't. It certainly is a nico-demon that we are dealing with. The mood swings are intense, one minute hyper ecstatic, the next angry, the next depressed. This too shall pass, I tell myself. I am grateful to be able to take the Pledge each day, to be accountable in "public" for my decision to quit. Thank you to this community for that. I do not know what lies ahead on this journey to freedom and I am grateful for the tools I've found to face challenges, but oh no, it is not so easy; but then again, I guess it is not overall as hard as I imagined it would be before I set out on this path. Be well and blessings be upon each of us.
