Tears are okay

[Mandolinrain]

Quitting is an emotional thing. Many if us found our way through our quits early on by having the experience of so many emotions we didn't know if we were coming or going.

For me....tears were a large part of that. Mixed emotions stored my thoughts. Deep inside I WANTED DESPERATELY to be a non smoker, but I was afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of fear...is there such a thing? Being afraid of fear itself?

Tears came unannounced over I would say the first 3 months of my quit. Just look at me wrong and I would cry. I was fragile. I was learning how to cope with life without running to smoke first. This was a key turning point for me once I understood what was happening.

Frustration during my early months was induced by anyone who criticized me, looked at me wrong...again...how do you look at someone wrong?... My perception of everything was knocked out of whack.

I learned here on this site, that I would go through many stages as I began my quit journey. Some would bring intense anger, fear, hurt, pain, tears...oh yes plenty of tears, and feelings that I would lose this battle.

ALL which I was told by the wonderful Elders of mine, were 100%normal.

While we all may focused on the same goal...'to become a non smoker and or to remain one'...all of us that began this journey before you understand...

Tears are often a part of it. They're cleansing and remind us of the direction we are in or want to be in. So accept. 

Accept that today your working through another day quit. Something may happen to bring on the tears today and if it does, remember this......

 AND

This last quote is what I did. I wrote.

God Bless you all and I hope this helps at least one person. If it does, it was worth blogging ~Missy

[Barbscloud]

@Quittime613 Welcome to the Ex.  What you're experiencing now emotionally is very common including crying.   Try to get some more dopamine to replace the what's lost from quitting - dopamine is the "feel good" hormone.  Exercise is great, especially walking if you're able.  Some other ways are music, meditating, getting plenty of rest, etc.  Be patient  and take care of yourself right now -  these symptoms will pass. 

Have you been reading material on the site?   Understanding the process of quitting really helps. This link has some great information on triggers, tools to use, creating new associations instead of quitting, etc. 

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Also consider taking the Daily Pledge to stay on track one day at a time.

You're doing fabulous with 5 days of success.  It took me 50 years to finally get it. What I learned at the Ex and the support I received, made it possible

This is a great post that you responded to, but I don't know if you'll receive a reply.  Mandolinrain hasn't been on the site for awhile.   Please consider creating a post under Journals/Blogs  to introduce yourself to the community and receive lots so support.

We're here for you, so reach out anytime we help. 

Stay  close and stay busy and do some deep breathing exercises.

Barb

[livonce81]

Exactly what I am going through today. Thank you. 

[Bonnie]

I have watched Dr. Phil a lot over the years...have learned a lot from his shows...information, free therapy, sometimes people I can relate to (not so much these days, but he DOES have topics other than spoiled kids and enabling parents :).

One show I remember clearly was about addiction. Alcohol in particular, but addiction is addiction and I have always wanted to learn more about it (runs rampant in my family).

At the end of the show, a woman talked about her healing from alcohol addiction (I really dislike the term "alcoholism"...we as nicotine addicts, what do WE suffer from, Nicotinism?)  She spoke of her healing and she said that every day, FOR A YEAR, after she stopped drinking alcohol, she cried...EVERY DAY SHE CRIED...and then, she said, after ONE YEAR, she stopped crying.  I will never forget that show, or her, or her courage, to CRY EVERY DAY FOR A YEAR, and NOT PICK UP her drug of choice...so that her soul could heal, she could GROW, and WIN over a terrible, life-sucking addiction. 

Don't be fooled by the NICODEMON into thinking that nicotine isn't sucking your spirit and robbing you of growing emotionally (and spiritually, if you chose to think on that). Not easy to win the victory, especially for those of us who are EMOTIONALLY addicted. I actually started smoking because smoking helped me to STOP CRYING. LOTS of emotions we have suppressed by smoking, some of us for many, MANY years.  But...IT IS OKAY TO CRY and if you need someone to cry to, or cry with, just come here and JOURNAL your feelings. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. GUARANTEED there is someone who can relate to you and until they respond, you have "spoken" your truth to your EX blog and the urge to SMOKE AWAY the feeling will have passed, and you will be smokefree and on your way to freedom from nicotine.  A gift beyond compare.

There's a reason this blog post still is active.  @Mandolinrain  has created a treasure to be discovered by any and all who visit here.  May your struggle with nicotine reveal much more than a freedom from addiction.  May you find personal treasures and strengths within yourself that you wouldn't ever find any other way than by quitting nicotine.

Bonnie  ~1714 Days of Freedom (4 years, 8+ months) thanks to my good friends at EX

[chardunk]

Just what I needed today. Thank you. 😘

[YoungAtHeart]

@chardunk 

Although I saw your response I fear most in the community may not.  To remedy that, I recommend you write a blog to introduce yourself to the community (Ex Community-top left; then center blue box-"Post a Journal/Blog").  You might include your smoking/vaping history, why you want to quit, your quit date if you have set one, and anything else about yourself you care to share.  You will reach a wider audience this way.

I look forward to seeing you there!

Nancy

[jmf]

Thank you 

[Jennyjen1953]

great job quiting is not hard for me cause I don't smoke I have to take this program to get my surcharge drop 

[CommunityAdmin]

@chardunk and @jmf Glad to hear this post by @Mandolinrain has helped! She has written some powerful things on the community. There is more powerful content here on the EX Community so I hope you keep looking around and reading things that community members suggest. 

@Jennyjen1953 Do you use other tobacco products if you don't smoke? That's great. Glad you're here completing the program so you can remove the surcharge.

[Ranhub-9479]

Little things like what you shared with us can be the very best thing to help us get through another hour or two I thank God for each and every person that makes any kind of a nice jester or comment we never know how we can help our fellow addicts and never know we have 

[JoyceAJanicki07]

This has been very insightful. 

I'm working hard and grateful for the opportunity and hope 

[Barbscloud]

@JoyceAJanicki07 Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your quit.  This is a great post from an Ex elder.   Many us cried our way through those early days, so just let it out.

In addition to a quit date, some aids, and smoking cessation class, I was lucky to find the Ex a week prior to my quit.  I leaned about nicotine addiction and that I need to a plan to cope with cravings, triggers, etc.   I skipped these steps in the past and was never successful.  And having the support of fellow quitters saved my quit several times early on.

With knowledge and support, you can do this too.   We're here to share you're journey.  We've been there, so we know what it takes to be successful.   Work and commitment will get you where you want to be - an ex-smoker .  Use this time to prepare for you quit on the 1st.  

This link is a great place to start.  It's not too late to educate yourself about nicotine addiction and having a plan to cope with cravings a

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Also, consider taking the Daily Pledge to stay on track one day at a time.  I look forward to celebrating with you not only on the 1st, but your many milestones on your journey.

Stay busy and stay close.

Super congrats on 5 days of success!  Please consider posting to My Journal/Blog to introduce yourself to the community and receive some well deserved support. 

Barb

[lenriggs]

I’m 5 days into being a non smoker. I’ve tried to quit before and failed every time. This morning I woke up feel pretty good about not having even a puff in the last 4 days, then the urge hit me like a ton of bricks. I popped a nicotine lozenge which takes the edge off. I’m doing a lot of praying and keeping myself busy. My wife has been a great support. I really don’t want to ever smoke again. Plus, I’ve saved 80 dollars the last 4 days!

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome. @lenriggs !

Congratulations on FOUR DAYS!  That is HUGE!

Since I participated on this older, original blog, I saw your response, but I fear most of the currently active members may not see it.  To remedy that, you might want to write a blog to introduce yourself to the community (Ex Community-top left; then center blue box, "Post a Journal/Blog").  You will reach a wider group of helpers that way.

Nancy

[Barbscloud]

@lenriggs Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your quit.

It's not to late to educate yourself about nicotine addiction and create a quit plan.  Many have found success with knowledge and preparation.   It took me 50 years and many attempts to finally get it. I went into my quits blindly and was never successful.  In addiction to some aids, I found the Ex a week prior to my quit.  For the first time I learned how to quit and had the support that was always lacking.

This link is a great place to start.

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Make the commitment and you can do this too.  We're here to support you on your journey.  So reach out anytime you need help, want to share your experience or to support fellow quitters. We're all in this together.

Start your day by taking the Daily Pledge.  It's a great way to stay on track on day at a time.

  Stay busy and stay close.

Barb

[Burnaqui]

Great post. I am hyper emotional sometimes I cry and feel intense pain for no reason. I have 4 days cigarette free although I’m wearing the nicotine patches.  Anyway your blog was great and filled with great ideas. I also attend nicotine anonymous online meetings and I go to church. 

[Barbscloud]

@Burnaqui Good job.  Congrats on 5 days of success.

Barb

[lenriggs]

I’m now 49 days in my quit journey. Some days are harder than others. At times I find myself bargaining with myself to have just one. Then I think about how bad it will taste and undoing what I have accomplished so far. Those thoughts get me back to the benefits of being a ex smoker, which are not sneaking away to have a smoke. I like being free of not adjusting my activities so that I can sneak away to smoke. Not to mention the money I have saved. At times it’s a minute at a time. I know I can do almost anything for a minute, that includes not smoking. Change my thoughts during that minute and in time I won’t think about it. Here’s to a healthier life and life style!

[Barbscloud]

@lenriggs Congrats on 49 days of success and happy you stopped by to share your achievement.  Keep up the good work. 

You might find this helpful.  It doesn't happen to everyone, but it's good to be prepared.

No Mans Land Days 30 to 130 (approximate) - EX Community

We're here for you if you need us.

Barb

[Ans54]

Exactly what I needed to hear today as the tears came up out of nowhere last night. Thinking of my 21 year old child that has no direction and an up and down relationship at the moment (3 years to be exact)   Every time I started to think of her I would light up and put it of my mind. So now here it was in all its glory as a drive down the road with no distraction. A sadness I have been trying hard to avoid feeling. Hardest part of this process so far is what to do instead. Instead when I wake up, instead when I need a break, instead when my husband and I argue, instead when I’m overwhelmed. Almost anything and everything in my life has been dictated by smoking for 27 years. On day 5, with the patch, trying to figure out what to do with all the insteads. Your post has helped me today. Thank you. 

[biscuit9]

@Ans54  Keep going, one step at a time, one crave at a time.  Congratulations on making it to quit day # 5 and getting through hell week.  Learning how to live without nicotine is doable, you just have to start thinking in different ways, and feeling things you didn't want to feel.  You are retraining your nic addictive brain.    I started my nicotine free journey almost a year ago and it has taken some work to get here, and feeling all the feels along the way has been challenging, but I'm up for it.  I cry easier than I ever have in my life, but nothing is gonna stop me.  Nothing!  Make up your mind, use your distractions and don't feed the monster that lies to you and has been lying to you all these years.  Nicotine has taken enough of you and your time.  Keep going until it gets better....and it will.

[Barbscloud]

@Ans54 Glad you found this post. As you can see, quitters have been reading it and finding helpful for a long time. 

What you're experiencing now emotionally is very common including crying.   Try to get some more dopamine to replace the what's lost from quitting - dopamine is the "feel good" hormone.  Exercise is great, especially walking if you're able.  Some other ways are music, meditating, getting plenty of rest, etc.  Be patient  and take care of yourself right now -  these symptoms will pass. 

And don't forget your deep breathing exercises when you need a break.

Super congrats on 5 day of success.  Stay close and reach out anytime you need to share.

Barb

[Mjodell]

Thanks for sharing this. Much appreciated 

[tarahamm]

I find that my emotional and mental health are both hurting me more than the withdrawals. 

[biscuit9]

@tarahamm   Quitting nic means you no longer have a crutch to lean on or smoke to hide behind and our emotions are brought forward, which means you have to deal with your feelings, instead of smoking your feelings away.  This was a part of the process for me, and almost a year later I find that I still cry easily.  Tears are healing and the cravings are what any addict experiences, when they withdraw.  You are healing.  I hope you have time to do some reading on this board and you will see what others have gone through and realize it is part of the process.  (There is also information on here for those with deeper emotional issues, that require medication.)  Hugs and I just want to encourage you to keep going.

[Barbscloud]

@tarahamm Welcome to the Ex and congrats on 6 days of success.  Actually what your experiencing emotionally and mentally are withdrawal symptoms.  Crying is ok. You're body is healing, so let it out.   Did you read my post above?

"What you're experiencing now emotionally is very common including crying.   Try to get some more dopamine to replace the what's lost from quitting - dopamine is the "feel good" hormone.  Exercise is great, especially walking if you're able.  Some other ways are music, meditating, getting plenty of rest, etc.  Be patient  and take care of yourself right now -  these symptoms will pass. 

And don't forget your deep breathing exercises when you need a break."

Have you been reading material on the site about craving, tools to use and creating new associations instead of smoking?

 This link has some great information to help maintain your quit.

https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Join many of us on the Daily Pledge to stay on track one day at a time.

Stay busy and stay close. You got this!

Barb

[Sandy-9-17-17]

Great Post! From a dear lady! Grateful she is still with me elsewhere as a friend for life! ♥️

[Barbscloud]

@Ans54  LOL.  Sorry, I had no idea there was a reference to anybody in the breathing exercise.  I can't help but laugh about it  - subliminal messages. 😊

Barb

[KLudwig1002]

Thanks for that it helps me figure stuff out, I have been getting angry easily 

[Barbscloud]

@KLudwig1002 Welcome to the Ex and congrats on 5 days of success.  Being more emotional when quitting is normal.   It's your body responding to the loss of nicotine, so be patient with yourself.   Deep breathing exercises are really helpful.

It's not to late to educate yourself about nicotine addiction and have a plan in place to deal with cravings and create new associations to replace smoking.  This link has some great information.  https://www.becomeanex.org/guides/?cid=footer_community_linktobex

Join many of us on the Daily Pledge to stay on track one day at a time.

Consider creating a post at My Journal/Blog to introduce yourself to the community and receive some well deserved support.

Stay busy and stay close.

Barb

[cmaltemose]

No tears yet...but yesterday I had what I describe as, what the Hulk feels before he bursts into the Hulk.

I managed to get out of the house and keep busy. It really seemed to help. 

And I have NOT bought a pack of cigarettes!! Yay me!!! 😀 

[Barbscloud]

@cmaltemose Good job.  Our emotions can be all over the place when we first quit.  Get some dopamine to help level things out.  Walking, music, dancing, meditating - whatever you enjoy.

Congrats on 5 days of success.

Keep moving forward one day at a time.

Barb