I lost my cousin this morning. He'd been sick and hadn't really been himself for a few years now so it wasn't a shock. He lead a long, full life. But still. It hurts. A lot.
My dad's been gone for a couple years now but, when I think of my cousin I see him, too, and also another cousin that passed not too long ago. So much loss. And I know that I'm not the only one. More than a few other people on this site have had devistating losses recently.
I'll continue to pray for us. I truley believe that it is those of us left behind, and not those who passed, who need the prayers... who need God's comfort.
On top of my loss, I've just been "told off" in such a cruel manner that there is no doubt this person had only negative intentions. Something I said was twisted and mangled by this person to justify their little tempor tantrom. I almost understand why....... but, really I don't need to.
When someone lashes out, I've decided, understanding them isn't as important as forgiving them..... AND THEN MOVING ON. The sadness and loss I feel for my cousin and his family is not something I can brush off. But the insult from someone's need to lash out at me is. I can choose to forgive them, not only for them, but for my own piece of mind. Letting things fester only leads to bad things..... like smoking. Stuffing down hurt and anger is what I would have done in the past. Now, I need to express it and feel it, if I must..... and forgive and let go when I can.
It reminds me of what people have been telling me lately about this site. "Take what you need and leave the rest." Its just so true, and so necessarry. Quitting is life or death, so take what you need to stay quit... and leave the rest. Taking the negative with you can only lead to bad things....
Not sure how much sense this post makes.... just needed to vent.
Love my EXfamily
~Jordan~
