Two years ago today, I stopped smoking, I wanted so much to believe that it was my “forever” quit, I kept reading other people’s blogs talking about their “forever” quits and I wondered how they KNEW. I WANTED it to be forever, I didn’t want to feel as though I had to hide from people when I smoked, I did not want to KNOW what I was doing to myself, I wanted to convince myself that I would get better, that I would not always be so short of breath, I wanted to believe that, like other times, I would be able to rationalize that I just had really bad allergies. Flash forward two years, no cigarettes, no more denial, lung surgery two months ago, and still using oxygen at night, still short of breath and still easily fatigued. There is no denying what I did to myself smoking for 47 years, with some breaks for pregnancies, and some attempted quits. I know now and I have known for a long time, that the answers to quitting are here, the education, the support, and the people reaching out to help with absolutely no reservations. I would never have made it through all of the events of the past two years without the support and love I received from this site. I will forever be grateful that I found this site at the perfect time. I thank each of you who reached out to me from the beginning, the elders as well as the newbies, the people who generously shared their stories and showed me that there was nothing unique about my quit, that there was no reason I could not succeed and make this my FOREVER QUIT! I have to work today and the next two days but I wanted to post this blog before I leave, I am hopping on board the Freedom Train today before I do anything else. I love you all and you have my eternal gratitude as well as the gratitude of my family! Thank you. XOXOXO, Ellen
