Why on earth can't people let things go?
Not neccisarily smoking but anything really.
I have this complicated relationship, and in the beginning I was very stand offish and kinda closed to any affectoin this person who wanted to give it me, because I felt like I couldn't trust the gesture or the intent.
Now that I have grown and let alot of my fears go this person constantly wants to shove who I was back then in my face, because now, I am myself again and I am have developed a care for this perso. Anytime it gets to good, he decides to act high and mightly like I should have to do all this work to try an be with him because I wasn't very nice in beginning.
All of this and it makes me want to cry cause it really is hurting me. I refuse to accept that I want to smoke because of this. Smoking isn't gonna make the hurt go away, but what it did do and I guess I have to find some alternative is it gave me a moment to step away from people around me and let it out...cause its easier to smoke and cry and people will leave you alone then to just go outside and bawl.
idk just thinking out loud this makes me feel so anxious.
