Support Groups and Success

[RoseH]

Good Morning, Everyone

This is for newcomers, who don’t know where to turn to, and feel alone, depressed and overwhelmed by life’s challenges and problems…  Never underestimate the power of a support group like this one!

I started smoking when I was 14 years old.  I remember that first “puff”, steeling a cigarette from an aunt, who I was staying with over the weekend…  I tip-toed into the bathroom with one of her cigarettes and lighter, early morning, when she was still sleeping…  “WOW”...  when I lit up it tasted terrible!  I threw it down the toilet and flushed it away…  However, most of us keep trying, because we are naïve’ about the destructive and addictive effects of Nicotine, until it is too late, and we are “hooked”!

There were no groups to support me.  We had commercials on our tiny little black and white TV screens showing us people like the “Marlboro Man” who was handsome, and sitting on a beautiful Stallion Horse, looking out at a beautiful mountain scene, smoking a cigarette…  There used to be lots of commercials on alcohol too!  Bourbon, Whiskey, Vodka, lots of different beers…

My point today is that BecomeanEx.com is literally, a “lifesaver”!

My wonderful husband, whom I love very much, is a highly functioning alcoholic.  I just joined Al-anon, which is for family members, who suffer from the effects of an alcoholic personality…  In just a few days, I am learning so much on how I can “let go” and not feel shame or guilt because of his daily drinking…

Back to Nicotine, which is an addictive drug.  If we smoke, we are Nicotine “addicts”, period.  If you feel overwhelmed and depressed, ask for help here!  Come here every day and participate.  Read posts and discover how others feel the same, as you do.  One day at a time, we can learn and support each other, and begin to change the things we can, within ourselves…

Quitting smoking is hard, at first.  The first thing I did for myself, was to realize that I needed help and then put effort into participating with the “elders” and I tried to learn everything I was able to, to begin my journey in becoming smoke-free…

Make a sound plan to quit smoking.  If you need help in forming one, ask how to do it!  Many of us can help you in the right direction!  In the beginning, it is best to keep it “one day at a time”!  Live just for today, and don’t worry about tomorrow…  If I can do it, after over 50 years of smoking, believe me, it is possible for you too!  I wish all of you a very happy and smoke free Monday, and let’s all keep our beautiful quits, ok?  Rosemary

[indingrl]

 Rosemary

[SimplySheri]

And I'm still so glad you found us!!  This is a lovely post, Rosemary, and so true that support groups such as ex can play a positive role in your quit.  I don't know a better place to get information, wisdom, and encouragement!  

[Cousin-Itt]

I believe in support groups can being a major help in quitting

 Their is a line from one of my favorite Neil Young song "Comes a Time"

We were right
we were giving
That's how we kept
what we gave away. 

Have a good day Rosemary

[RoseH]

Thank you indingrl‌

[RoseH]

Thank you SimplySheri‌    You are so right!

[RoseH]

You are so right Cousin-Itt‌ !  Love your comment!  Rosemary

[Christine13]

Thank you Rosemary!  I am encouraged to keep at it, and reach out.  I'm glad you joined the Al-Anon group.

[willis1950]

thanks

[jep9703]

Thanks, Rosemary.  

[mebeautiful]

Thank you for this post. I’m new to this community, just within the last hour! I’m so excited to have a plan to quit smoking. 

[RoseH]

Thank you!  Christine13‌

[alankearin]

I haven’t quit yet. I never really figured out this forum, but could use some support. 

[LeftysLady]

I am 6 days away from my quit, maybe closer because of Allen Carr's book "Easy Way To Stop Smoking".  No I am not rushing the quit, I purchase the "little monsters" but the carton; I have a pack and a half left, I am looking forward to parting ways with them.

mebeautiful and alankearin  I would truly suggest reading this book it opened my eyes as to why I thought I needed the stinky sticks.  Can't wait to give them up.  If you are not a reader it is available on DVD and Webcast.

Can't wait to be free while preparing for life without.

[Sorice1]

I am new to the community and I am struggling!

[Kandy77]

Hello Mrs Rose. Thank you for the post. I guess I needed to see it.

[LeftysLady]

Kandy77‌ This is where I got my true start.  After reading Mrs. Rose's blog I thought back to that first cigarette.  Smoked out of peer pressure.  Then I remembered my life as a child stealing smokes from my parents, until just before my 16th birthday my Dad asked me what I smoked and bought me a carton.  Wow, how far down that hill I went.  45 years of my short 55 years spent smoking.

There is a great book out there by Allen Carr "The Easy Way To Stop Smoking"  It will give you a good grounding for the beginning of your life of freedom.  The next thing I'll relay is if you want to keep your freedom you have to give it away.  That means finding time to come here everyday.  Keep it simple take the pledge not to smoke for that day.  Read a blog on your lunch hour.  Read all the info connected with your quit the more knowledge you have the better your plan, the better your plan the sweeter your freedom.

We are all here for each other Newbies like us or Elders like Mrs. Rose, we all have something to give.

Celebrate and Enjoy your freedom,

Pam

LeftysLady 5 DOF 

[WillingOrNot]

Groovin on being free from smokin / nicotine.  Last 1 and 1/2 cigarettes smoked on on 9/18/2020, so Day 1 abstaining was 9/19/20. YAY!  Day 6, I think.  

But I feel restless today and am avoiding working -- have avoided it all week!  This s self-destructive, so I would appreciate some support to face the music.  I think I'm disoriented without my styx. 

[LeftysLady]

Off center and off kilter.  I remember that not wanting to work, brain to foggy and I was just to tired.  Then I made myself fight through the tired.  Looked for things to do to get my brain started.  Brain games, luminosity, technical adult coloring books. Slowly as my mind began to clear I was able to go back to work.  Just fight through one minute at a time.  Those minutes begin to add up.  And before you know it your facing work and everything with the same old confidence.

Good evening 

Pam

15 DOF

[tibbetsethan]

Thank you Rosemary! I just quit one day ago and the withdrawal symptoms are kicking my butt. Nicotine replacement (gum) takes the edge off but the actual withdrawals, I didn't expect them with the gum. Guess I was wrong but it's okay. I'm just very anxious and fidgety, I keep worrying about dumb stuff but not so much thinking about vaping as much as I did. The thoughts come and go and when they come on they are very strong, like this morning when I woke up I was ready to peel my skin off I was wanting a hit from my vape so bad, but instead I popped a piece of gum and breathed through it. Now I have taken the gum out, and am chewing regular gum and reading the forums. 

This forum has provided me with so much hope and also a distraction from going crazy during the withdrawals. I know I have 3 more days to a week of the withdrawals and being sick, but I'm pushing through it just the same.

I smoked for 14 years, I am only 27 years old now. I started sneaking my Grandma's Capris when I was 13 years old and by 15 my family was buying my packs. I didn't get a carton until I was 17 and I remember sneaking off at school during lunch and breaks with my friends and walking around the block hoping there wasn't a cop around to see us take a puff break. Living in constant fear I'd get an MIP or my grandparents would be caught buying them for me. Then I thought everything was fine until I started smoking a pack to a pack and a half a day by age 20.

For 7 years after my blood pressure slowly rose until I was having periods where it would all of a sudden just shoot up really high and then drop back down. I have Huntington's Disease and have had a rash of recent hospitalizations lately and have been "sneaking" my vape in while I was in the hospital, funny thing is, I never realized they watched your heartrate and so I'm pretty sure they aren't as "dumb" as they seemed, which considering they have medical and nursing degrees and are very intelligent, of course they knew. Sometimes we think we outsmart people like the medical field and police, they're actually very aware of what goes on, they studied to notice the signs of everything and the effects after all.

Anyways, when I realized how much it was raising my blood pressure and I started to feel sick when I'd get up and walk around, I had to stop vaping because it was just making me sick. I am very blessed to have a support group like you guys and such a great medical field that truly knows what it's doing when they say "Don't Vape in the Hospital" lol.

Ethan - 1 DOF

[Suzinut]

I have to do this...i have lung nodules and freaking...i wont know until 6 months follow up if they grew, if it is cancer, or whatever....i am terrified.  I need to quit now...i keep finding excuses to smoke but i have to quit right now in hopes i am not to late...the struggle is very real...i need help

[Cousin-Itt]

   Suzi  It's normal to be scared It's normal to be scared of quitting smoking and it's normal to be scared of your nodules growing or being cancerous. The odds are in your favor right now that the nodules are not cancerous and will not grow if you quit

Anyway you know smoking won't make the nodules go away Smoking could only make matters worse

   Quitting is very doable it does take some reading and understanding of what to expect.  The more you understand and with support  it becomes easier.  You have to take that first step and commit 

   My nodules have not grown in 4 years my last CT scan was 3 months ago 

The following has been on my refrigerator since my boys were in school and it helped me tremendously 

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

― Frank Herbert, Dune  

I'm positive you can do this  You have all the help you need here

Carl

[Suzinut]

Thank you so much.  I can do this!

[LeftysLady]

Suzi,  You have probably started this journey quickly and in fear.  Read everything on this sight and any addition recommended articles by the group.  Take slow deep breaths when you feel the craving hit.  Write, color, clean, walk, and drink lots of water all of these will help give your mind something else to do.  Load this app on your phone and table, also bookmark this sight on your computer at work and home, come here whenever the craving is overwhelming.  Write in your your blog, post a note, play a game, start a discussion, ask a question.

I am a newbie like you the things I mentioned have kept me smoke free for 21 days.  As I start day 22 of Freedom I reach my hand out to you.  This journey is possible.  This journey is hard.  This journey means life.  There is nothing that will happen that a cigarette will make better.  Yes you can do this. 

Pam

21 DOF   

[PattiCee56]

I’m most scared of the nicotine leaving my body. What did that feel like ?

[RoseH]

May I suggest you read the book by Allen Carr entitled “The Easy Way To Quit Smoking”.  It is the book that helped me quit smoking two years ago...  I had virtually N O symptoms from the nicotine leaving my body...  because Mr. Carr prepared me to be a winner!  I smoked for over 50 years and I feel complete without a cigarette.  The freedom I feel from being smoke free is priceless!  The book is available online at Amazon.com.  Maybe your Local Public LIbrary may have it?  I would suggest you ask if they have it to lend out.

[WillingOrNot]

Thank you!  It is now day 32, and this is the first time back on this site to read your response.  I appreciate the attention you gave me!  Back to work with me!

[WillingOrNot]

I couldn't tell if my cravings were from nicotine withdrawal or pure and simple habits that I'd formed, meaning mental/psychological dependency.  I'm not saying physical withdrawal is not real, but more that for me it manifested in the mental craving.  Continuing to not act on a craving is how the craving diminishes and ultimately goes away.  It passes in a few minutes even if we don't respond to it.  (Conversely, it comes back again sooner if we do respond to it!)

[RoseH]

May I suggest that you read the book by Allen Carr entitled “The Easy Way To Quit Smoking”...

I smoked for over 50 years and I quit Cold Turkey.  Mr. Carr’s book was my great inspiration.

I really had no side effects at all...  When you can’t breathe, nothing else matters!

[Hmorrison]

Hey Everyone!

I just set my quit date for 2 weeks from today! this is my 4th attempt at quitting and i need some serious help! I have severe depression & anxiety which make life unbearable as it is, so smoking is almost like an escape that i no longer want! I've been smoking for 13 years (started smoking 2 years after my mom died from lung cancer.....stupid I know!!!) I have never been addicted to anything in my life and kicking this addiction is one of the hardest challenges I've been faced with! I have made a plan to buy some nicotine patches tomorrow as quitting cold turkey has yet to work for me. Any helpful tips are greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance & good luck to everyone on this life altering journey ❤️ 

[LeftysLady]

Hmorrison‌ welcome to Become an Ex.  The first thing I will tell you is welcome back everytime you come back you are closer to making it.  My biggest suggestion is to read Allen Carr's book "The Easy Way To Quit Smoking".  It will give you a lot of ideas and insights of what you are truly up against.  Go in depth on this site and read everything you can while setting up your quit plan.  I am not sure where I found it but there is a list you can print titled Common withdrawal symptoms and ways to cope to cope with them.  It really helps to be prepared.

I am 17 days in on my I can't tell you how many attempts to quit in the 40 years I smoked.  I started when I was ten.  I can tell you that this is my most successful quit because I read Mr. Carr's book and a lot of articles on this sight.  If I have a bad day I blow my cool on this sight.  I know when I have a really harsh craving, I can come to this sight type HELP in blog title someone will answer.  While you are preparing for your quit date use the site to put off each cigarette a few minutes longer by reading an article or blog post.

Life isn't easy, and God never promised anyone a rose garden, but this sight helps you give yourself the ability to say NO.  Remember the number one rule of quitting, it is your number one reward also, It Is YOURS and no one can take it way but you.

Pam

17 Days 14 hours 18 minutes of Freedom  and it has all been worth it.

[brianoSteen]

Thank you ..Rosemary

[brianoSteen]

I am right there ..with you..set my date in about 2weeks ..also.. I am cut back to half of what i been smoking ...n trying nicorrette ...i know the feeling..thats why i am here ..too

[brianoSteen]

I appreciate the insight..thank u..for being here..

One day one minute one hour second or moment at a time leads to more ..n FREEDOM

[ViolaG]

I've just started the process of quitting and I decided to get the Kindle version of the book you recommended. I'm only an hour into the read and I'm already seeing this addiction differently. Thank you for the recommendation. I feel so different about this quit.

[LeftysLady]

Every piece of information you receive will some how help your quit.  Some may seem silly when you first read it.  When it later is out to use it becomes understandable.

Welcome to freedom

Pam 

42 Days of Freedom.

[nancypie]

What do you do when it’s like a food to you? When stress of wanting it hits. When your mouth waters thinking of it? I have quit several times with the longest was 2 months. Several 2 days, week-ends . I’m already morbidly obese I don’t need more . How is quitting a possibility? I have no friends no family where I live .  I’m depressed and had my only daughter at 40 and am kinda pissed off at having one so late in life . Errrrrr!  Nothing has ever gone right in my life . Some things are okay but I want more . 
just venting but I seriously have doubts in my quit.

[Suzinut]

Welcome Nancypie....

I had almost 50 days and am starting my new quit tomorrow...i had "just one" and it turned into 2 weeks of sneaking cigarettes.  I was stuck home for quarantine since a coworker of mine got covid and it totally messed me up..BUT that is just an excuse...i cholse to pick it up and now i start again.  I am here for u and we can do this together.  I am an older mom also...i adopted my daughter at 38.  She is now 15 and i am 54.  I personally wouldnt trade it for the world but everyome is different...let me know if u want to do this together.  We CAN do it...whether it was a shoet or long time we have done it before and CAN do it again!  Best to you!  Message me if u want to be buddies along this journey to good health!

[LeftysLady]

I know that there is much about life that is negative. There is much more that is perceived as negative.  It is hard but we must try to find the thing in each perceived negative that we can be grateful for and build upon it.  In doing so it will help to bring a way to find your path through the quit.  

I truly understand the attitude of anger of having children late in life.  My husband and I have a yours mine, and ours collage of family.  Our youngest two were born when I was 35 and 36.  I have fought with my weight all my life.   When I was 40 I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was in the first stages of menopause.  In these things I can honestly say I am grateful.  My husband has been by my side as I put him through he double hockey sticks with all the stow high in transport I put him and our kids through.  Though my weight and body shape cause us many unpleasant discussions I am grateful he is here to discuss it with.  Our youngest son has Autism spectrum disorder and at 21 is about 17 mentally, I have my days I want to ring his neck, but before the day ends he gives me a hug that melts my heart and anger. I am grateful.  My youngest daughter just turned 20, when she was a baby she was attached to me so badly that she would have a fit if she couldn't see me.

Today I happy when she choses give me a hug or remind me that road is I love you in dinosaur.  My weight and body shape I am grateful for because I am alive and I can work on doing something about it when I need to not stress over cravings.  Because when I step outside, or away from my desk at work to walk to the bathroom one floor down, taking the stairs, I am getting a 2 for one benefit, I am grateful.

Change your attitude, it is not easy, but necessary if you want the quit to stick.  Focus on the simplest part of gratitude when the cravings hit.  Purse you lips like you are going to take a drag. Breath in full your lungs until they hurt. Then slowly consciously exhale.  Repeat.  As you do this think of the clean air you are giving your body.  The stress you may be under at the time the cravings appears. Will still be there when it's done, but you can be grateful because you didn't have to spend money to deal with it.

Pam

62 Days 21 hours and 29 minutes of Freedom

[Phenom_526]

Hello everyone, and congratulations to you all on quitting smoking cigarettes.Today is my first day of quitting and Im doing great, mainly because I really want to stop. My guess is if you want something as bad as I want this you go for it. I was wondering if there was a such thing as walk in social distancing groups, any suggestions?

[learnboutvaping]

So glad to be able to receive support for myself to help empower my son (29). How can he receive support to help him stop Vaping, thanks. 

[Linn2331]

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/RoseH/blog/2020/06/22/support-groups-and-success‌ Hey! New here obviously since even my mentions are weird in how they come out. Day 10, cold turkey. Hell week was, well, hell. Still having struggles but so glad to be here! 

[freeat63]

Thankyou RoseMary..., the inspiration this newbie needs...

Becky

[freeat63]

Linn, I hope your hell week has passed. Mine will begin in a few days.., Cant wait for my Day 10!

[dnsmith84]

Yes, just finished the book and am on my second time trying. I really prolonged the ending so I could keep smoking....ugh. On day 3 without a cigarette and usually am ok for month until the "little monster" rears it's ugly head. 

[dnsmith84]

Hope cold turkey works for you. I quit for four cold turkey. If you need any support holler!

[dnsmith84]

You should start one, I'd join. 

[Thisiscrazy1]

Me too  

[alankearin]

I really don’t know how do use this site. I need help quitting smoking. What group should I join? I’m a 66-year-old male and I have smoked most of my life. I took a 16 year break from cigarettes and broke it one night in a bar. Time to break that habit again. Any advice?
thank you, Alan

[dnsmith84]

Alan,

Still learning myself about the site. I usually just search through blogs. Wonder if there is support groups in your area. I use this site and then read the book from Allen Carr's Easy Way to Quit Smoking. Do you have the kindle app? Really helped me and you can smoke up until you finish the book. Took me a few months as I knew the end was inevitable. 

[DayleM0707]

First post I seen when I updated my quit date. I need to really prepare myself this time. I can not procrastinate any longer. I’m going to look for the book, and hope to it read it with in the next five days