I'm sure it is not just me but felt really bad yesterday. Went over my 5/2 goal of 30 was stil under my 35 goal for last time but keep beating myself up for f'ing up. trying now to go to 25, my next goal, so if I go over a little I am still good. Issue is the way was raised, ANY failure is very hard. Just trying not to get to the point where I say, I can't do this, it will kill me, whatever. Worse part of that is my wife loves me to death so I have to succeed because she says we have to go together because we would both be lost without the other. I keep reading on here and it helps, seeing that other people struggle too helps. I know for some, cold turkey works, I can not even picture that world unless they put me in a medically induced coma, lol. Currently working in construction in a detox center and seeing the support they get but also seeing how many have been there many times. Scares me. This is beatable but seems SO EASY to get pulled back. Again sorry for free ranging my thoughts but not used to anyone else seeing them. I think that helps more than anything. If I put it out there it is real and I need to face my addiction.
