I am so disappointed in myself because I knew that the urge for having a cigarette was getting stronger and stronger and I didn't have enough strength to "stick up for myself" and take a walk or take a break or do something to get my mind off it.
I was at my sister's house and with some old friends and two of them went outside to smoke. I couldn't get my mind off it and then I just gave in and joined them. It seemed ok at the time - I mean I knew it was wrong but I had drank some alcohol and I let my guard down. I woke up the next day with a headache and I felt so crappy physically and mentally.
Since I had quit, when I woke up I was feeling great and this one day after having 2 cigarettes I felt horrible! So I really didn't have the desire to have more the next day. I learned my lesson which is I really have to avoid alcohol. I have been in plenty of situations in the past 9 days that could have been tempting but I've been really strong and I've been giving myself what I need to resist (walks around the block, changing scenery, whatever) and this time because I had a glass of wine, I didn't. Ughhhhhh
So now it's been since Wed that I'm newly quit again and I'm trying to remain strong. I wonder if there was anything else I should have done to avoid the slip up. Maybe I should've had a piece of gum and I didn't.
This is just so hard because I feel like I need to go into seclusion to get this done - why is it so hard to see people and do things you normally did? I hate this addiction!!!!!!!!!!!
