Stupid "No Man's Land"

[Kejo]

I knew this was the time for me. I planned for it - for MONTHS - and I know I'll never go back. This quit is here to stay.

And.... I would really really really like these occasional, albeit FIERCE, no-man's-land cravings to just go away! I didn't think I'd still be expending so much mental energy on fighting the addiction demon when I've be smober for more than 2 months. It just seems like it's in the back of my mind more than it has been since week 1. I'm thinking about it way too much.

Listened to Giulia's song again - just love it so much. I'm no dope. I know I can continue to succeed here. Sometimes it's still hard, though.

Anyone else out there who's at this stage in their quit?

[OldBones-Larry]

One step, one day one minute. It doesn't matter how you make the journey, as long as you keep traveling. 

You are doing this and making your journey. Keep up the great work!!

Larry the Caravan Master

[elvan]

I am not at the same stage as you but I do remember feeling that way...I remember feeling that the intensity of the craves was overwhelming.  It was during those times that I came here and I also reminded myself that "this too shall pass"...I had to remind myself over and over again that this is a journey, it is NOT a battle.  I lost many battles with nicotine that I approached as battles.  I wore our before my addiction did.  My husband is a recovering alcoholic of 30+ years and recovering smoker of 29+ years.  I asked him how I was supposed to do it...WHY did I think of nothing but smoking or rather NOT smoking?  He told me to get on my knees and to pray to God to take away the mental obsession.  He said it would not work if I did not get on my knees and he also said that I might have to repeat it.  I will admit that I did not have great expectations but I was afraid that I was never going to feel "normal" again that I did it.  I DID have to do it more than once, getting on my knees was a trip but honestly, it worked.  I FELT the obsession being removed, I FELT myself being more prepared for the JOURNEY and accepting it as such.  I also reminded myself that I had bad days when I smoked too and sometimes they lasted quite a while.  You are DOING this.  

Congratulations on your more than two month old quit!

Ellen

[Kejo]

crying... Thanks, Ellen. I'm totally doing it. I mean, not at this minute, because everyone in the office would look at me funny... but as soon as I get home. I love the "journey vs battle" idea. A battle is just a short-term fight. This is a lifetime journey. Thanks to both you and your husband for the advice.

[elvan]

You are SO WELCOME.  Yeah...it might look a little weird at work.  I remember someone asking me when I lost a quit at three months..."WHY, Ellen?  You were doing so well."  I told him I was exhausted...I could not fight any more, once I realized that I am not a fighter but I am a great traveler...things fell into place.  I am SO glad that you got the point.

Ellen

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Congratulations on remaining smoke-free. 2 months which is a great beginning for a lifestyle change. 

Whatever you are going through there is always a way out other than smoking or putting up a fight. Fighting always seemed to make it tenser for me. The more you fight the more it consumes control.  I relaxed and breathed and let the cravings pass, I imagined floating on a wave.  Breathing in and slowly out.  In fact, it can be quite euphoric.  Kinda sorta like a buzz.  Enjoy it. lol Just because it is said this part of the quit is the toughest does not mean that it has to be.  This is just a time that you have to be more focused and more mindful of what is going on in your life and be prepared with a no matter what attitude you will not smoke. NOPE (period)  As you already know, you will not die and this too shall pass. 

 Refocus your attention on something else very quickly. Stay close for group support. Believe that you can and you will. 

Got it?

RELAX

REFOCUS

STAY CLOSE

BELIEVE

[Kejo]

Thanks, Jackie! That's a great way to look at it. Not a fight -  As Ellen mentioned,fighting is exhausting. Just relax and know that it will pass. They always do. ❤️

[Mandolinrain]

I am so late getting here today but wanted to stop by and congrats to you for 2 months..... I went through many tears in NML but tears watered my quit...so its all good. Hugs  xoxo

[YoungAtHeart]

I had probably my worst day around 108.  It felt like one continuous, intense crave.  I came here and then understood that it would end if I just took it one minute/five minutes/half an hour at a time.  I did - and I am 6 1/2 years free.

This stage of your journey WILL end - I promise.  In the meantime, use the tools that you found helpful early in your quit.  Slow/deep breaths?  Taking a walk?  Playing a computer game?  Calling a friend?  Do ALL of them - and then start over!

You are almost THERE!

Hang on!

Nancy

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Don't dwell on that smoke. Just keep sayin' nope

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Here's one about addictions: 

[Giulia]

I gave up at least two quits that I can recall at the the 3 month mark.  We're ready for it to be OVER WITH already!  The excitement has worn off and the thrill of accomplishment has ebbed.  So - what do you do?  You keep reading and reinforcing.  You offer support to others.  For when we offer support it echoes back and pings against the sides of our brains.  We reinforce correct thinking by talking correct thinking to others.  Support is such a wonderful two-way street in that regard.  It's a form of "self-talk."  So talk much to others.  Be their cheer leader and you become your own in the process.  

Maintenance is no fun.  So find the fun in other ways.  You know?  And if you're thinking more about cigarettes now than you were - this is the time you really need to be up on your game.  This is the time that you REALLY need to protect your beautiful newborn quit.  For when it becomes more fragile, we must protect it even more.  

Watch your back.  And don't forget your sense of humor!!!!!  Sense of humor is a great tool that enables us to take a needed step back.  

I'd say to myself "Waaaa waaa waaaa slap slap!"  Dianejoy (indingrl  taught me the term "get over yourself."  It may be a popular saying, but I had never heard it.  And whenever I get a little too waaa waaa, it pops into my head and I do get over myself.  

You hang in!  This is a long road, I'm sorry to say.  But when you "get" there, you will look back and say, "Wow, am I glad I did!

[minihorses]

I'm still in No Man's Land myself but I've been here last year so I have the experience in it.  I didn't start smoking again during that time, it was months afterward. Unfortunately the cravings can be extremely strong, especially in no man's land.  That is why NML exists.  It truly is the area where many on their quit journeys cave in to the demon.  It sucks but this is the most challenging time.  Please don't give in to or give up on your quit.  We will be here to help you through anything with love and maybe a kick in the butt when you need it. YOU CAN DO THIS AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Julie

[maryfreecig]

Nice title to your blog. If quitting were simple Ex wouldn't exist, nor nicoderm, or patch or pills or quit programs and clinics! So feeling weird for a while is normal for many. If any one of us could have simply pulled ourselves back together quickly, we would have. But time and quit pals are the best medicine for the quit blues. Congratulations on all your smobriety.

[elvan]

Kejo‌ Hope you are feeling much better today!

Hugs,

Ellen