Struggling!!

[teeniemarie7]

Today has been very dfficult for me. I just cant seem to find motivation to do anything ...the more i do nothing the more i have cravings. I feel really depressed and sad today, no patticular reason but it really sucks !! i was going to email my fience at work and just let him know im having a hard time but I feel like a whinning baby and  do nothing but  whine lately.  I feel just horrble and not having any freinds to talk to is hard too. Im a really nice person and a good Mom of 3 , but i just dont have any friends out there so my fience gets a ear full all the time when he gets home. Poor guy.. its day 18 and I really dont know how im getting by thus far but im NOT SMOKING. I have done not one single thing around the house and now i feel guilty about that ...It just gets so so overwhelming sometimes and i freeze up inside and out... I think all of this insecure,mixed emotions stems from smoking so young (12yrs old ) and not ever remembering what it was like as a non-smoker. i grew up a smoker and now life seems like a forign language to me..Its wierd because i swear a few days ago i knew exactly what I was doing and today im so so lost??? Am I CRAZY??