On my 22nd day of not smoking, I have gotten past the need to get up from my desk and walk up and down the stairs instead of out to the smoke deck. I can get up in the morning and drink coffee without the desire for a cigarette. The trigger that I am having trouble with is leaving my daughter's hospital room to go home without her. One year and 3 months ago Lexi had bariatric surgery and was infected with a multi-drug resistant bacteria causing abscesses and abdominal leaks that she has been fighting all of this time. Due to a compromised immune system it seems like it strikes her again every time she starts improving. The unfairness of this is pulling that trigger hard. I still tell myself "No, you don't do that anymore" but needed to blog to get it off of my chest so maybe it will lose some power.
