Still hanging on ..
To the thought some days that smoking is the answer . I think that's just a stupid thing to do after being smoke free for ten plus years ... but I'm not invinsible to overwhelming circumstances or stress .... in fact if I started sharing with you what my stress entails you may all well be quite in disabelief that a person can survive all that without smoking .
You might all understand the reason for her not being too funny or too happy but I won't share everything here . The internet imo is not a safe place.
The truth . Life has been no bed of roses ... but I believe that "good "'comes from all things in time . Patience is hard , but quitting smoking has taught me if I stay steadfast and patient, good things will come .
Yup it's that kind of a day . A day I needed to write this for me . I have always been honest about my quit .. an open book with no secrets . I watched secrets amongst elders on another site . Elders who came off as "strong " in their quits yet struggled and did so in private in their own little secret group . Some disappeared and came back years later only to start over . Once I knew that things got easier for me because I didn't feel alone . I thought I was the only one who struggled at a year quit , or had a bump in the road at eight years quit . It didn't last of course but one surprise day can feel like it will never end .
I believe for someone to say " they got this " is dangerous territory . We are in this for a forever quit and for some it may be , they will need support by giving support right to the end. I know two people who gave away their fourteen year quits . I font want to be that person . I get it . No one is safe . Not me that's for sure ,and that's why I'm committed to pledge and promise not to smoke today , right now and then I'm going to go do something different . Paint the story. ( a new hobby )
I would love to smoke right now honestly it seemed appealing today but I know I would regret it after the first puff . It would not be the relief from the stress I need , it wouldn't solve the problems or help with solutions to the problems . So I won't smoke today . This day too shall pass and I will continue to be smoke free .
