so i screwed up again about a month ago and now i am two hrs 15 mins quit again. i CANNOT SMOKE OR IT WILL KILL ME! that's me shouting at me since i first came here after suffering a stroke at the age of 58. now i'm 63 and still relapsing every 6 months. i had 497 and over 300 days then i have no idea what started going on as i started smoking every 6-7 months. i know it will kill me but there i go and puff away and at first i enjoy it but a part of me is so angry at me do i really enjoy it? the answer is no. now i'm experiencing pains in my arms, legs and head and since i'm scared that will stop me but i dont want to start at 6 months again. i want to build something that lasts since i also have COPD and these relapses are pushing this disease along much faster than it would if i didn't smoke. that's why i returned to this site to sustain a quit and keep it beyond 6 months
i am looking for positive feedback if anyone answers this as i've beaten the hell out of myself every day for the last month for doing this so i don't need to hear harsh comments or cocky comments. that's one reason i left the site for awhile as it seemed there were a handful of people who were brutal to people who relapse and i thought it was about helping people. perhaps some people respond to that sort of thing but i don't so please restrain yourself if you can't give some positive comment. thanks for reading this as i need support and respond to a spiritual approach. btw the wishingwell.com site has changed and i can't post a clock unless someone knows of another site. i will count my quit as starting tomorrow on Oct 1st as i did smoke today. hope everyone else is enjoying their quits! perhaps i take it for granted!
