Starting over but not giving up

[stephanie81215]

Hello Everyone,

So I originally found this page when I *thought* I was permanently quitting on 09/03/14. I lasted almost a year until I started dating a smoker. Typical addict thinking started sinking in. 'I can take a drag and be fine'. Then, it became 'I'll smoke half a cigarette' because that's better than smoking the whole thing. Then, 'I had a bad day so I'm just going to have a cigarette'... and you know the progression to smoking just like I did before I quit in September. Took less than a week to become a full-time smoker again. All that work.... down the drain. But I don't give up easily. On anything. And I won't give up on this. Since my last post in November, I was hospitalized in March for PEs and DVTs (blood clots in the lungs and legs). They haven't really determined what caused it but smoking is most likely a factor. I am now on blood thinners for the foreseeable future. Another reason I know I can't be smoking is this time around, my gums started bleeding and my teeth felt like they were becoming loose. I was thinking, "my God, am I going to lose my teeth over this" Maybe. Very possibly, if I continue. I have come back to the community because I received so much support last time, I was completely overwhelmed and blessed. Since a few people in my personal life are not happy with me since I had a relapse with my smoking, I don't feel like I have their support anymore. I need all the support I can get. So here I am.... 7 days in.... and it's definitely been pretty rough at times, which I expected.

Have a good day!

[YoungAtHeart]

I am sorry about your health issues.  Unfortunately, sometimes it takes those to finally wake us up (me included).

Wow!  You are already finished with H#ll Week!  Good for you.  Now - Heck Week!

Do you remember the readings from your first quit?  If not - just let me know and I will link them for you again.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around your head alone.  Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[AbasKid]

Stephanie, You go girl!!!

You'll get this yet. I have been surprised how much the support has meant to me here. My computer is in hospital still, so I have missed a couple of days. I really miss this group. (Using dearly beloved's this am)

Figure out a visualization of some sort----like those nasty blood clots choking to death due to lack of smoke; see your blood cells jumping for joy and having a good time without it. For me, it's stray cancer cells. I  saw them clapping their hands and cheering with every puff I took, while others were being choked to death by clean food.

You can do it.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Hi Stephanie.  I want to say good afternoon.  Hope you are feeling better today.  Seven days is a really good start coming out of relapse.  I am glad that you are here to share your experiences.  Some things happen for a reason.  I too after not smoking for over a year started dated a smoker.  Live and learn is what I say..... Never again.  I will perform some kind of test to check to see if they smoke before going forward. lol  Anyway can't hold on to the past just learn from it and become stronger.  Wishing you the very best for your health and your journey from freedom from nicotine. I have noticed some people that don't stay close to the site or check in seem to relapse.

[Giulia]

Glad you've returned.  I don't envy you.  But the first week is the toughest and you're at the end of it.  GOOD!  Recall the tools you used before and employ them again..  And find fresh ones.  This time around it seems to be a little more iimperative that you stay quit.  And staying connected here, even if you only read, is important for maintenance.

[jonilou]

Sometimes those health concerns can snap us into reality. The reality that smoking is killing us. Slow or fast, it's doing the trick to end us. Glad to see you back. There are many wise people here to help you. Some of  best have responded to you here already. Please take the good advise, it works!

[TerrieQuit]

Great advice above! Congratulations on 7 days!!

Terrie  44  DOF

[Rick_M]

Sorry u slipped but u did good quitting again and coming back here . Stay close dear ...support really helps. Never another puff.....

[johio]

A very powerful blog.......I am sorry about your health issues but I am glad you are back on the journey,,,you were always a big part of this site. Welcome back

[stephanie81215]

Thank y'all for the support. I really need it. I was afraid of negativity when I admitted that I slipped up, but I have received a warm welcome back.I appreciate it more than words can express.

[AbasKid]

Just keep pluggin' away at not picking one up again. I am one that does have to "white knuckle" it every once in a while even after 18 months---

Hugs & Blessings

Sara

[elvan]

Wow, what a journey you have been on.  I am so glad that you recognize what went wrong so you can avoid those stumbling blocks from here on in.  I am really sorry about your health issues but I hope and pray that you will turn around.  Please take care of yourself, it is never too late to start over.  You know the drill...one day at a time.  One step at a time.  You CAN do this.