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Share your quitting journey

Starting a real quit

cookiemonster00
1 16 101

Hey everyone,

Okay, so I've really started reading here and this community is great - thanks so much to everyone who's contributed such thoughtful ideas on quitting, it's super helpful for noobs like me. Here's what's happened the past week. Basically it was a classic start-and-fail week that I've let myself slip into so often in the past. I had such great intentions that went by the wayside as my triggers started going off. My three big takeaways from this week are:

1) I need a new "keystone habit" that can be a new productive thing around which my other habits can improve too. I bought a bike yesterday that's on it's way, so my plan is to take advantage of the warmer weather to start biking more regularly. This is also motivated by my noticing that the times recently when I've gone longest without cigarettes - most recently 5 days while on a visit to see my significant other's family - have all involved biking as the regular exercise.

2) I need better strategies for tackling my cravings and triggers. From reading posts on here it's clear (or seems clear, at least) that the process of quitting is basically all about the mental game after a short couple days (which feel like an eternity...) of nicotine withdrawals, and succeeding in the mental game basically means succeeding day-after-day at weathering the storm of cravings. I think the main reason I failed this week is because I don't have any clear predetermined plan for tackling my cravings - which makes a brief couple hours feel like they stretch on for years, and which means I'm basically white-knuckling my way through. Does anyone have any tips for getting past cravings?! As context, I've smoked for the past 5 years and the longest I've gone without cigarettes for those 5 years was two weeks (after which I said "just one..." and there it went...). So my challenge is still getting past the early first few weeks, during which it feels like there's no "ebb-and-flow" of cravings and instead just feels constantly pretty miserable ("no end in sight" kind of thing).

3) I need to identify triggers ahead of time and have a clear predetermined plan for how I'll get past those cravings. Does anyone know any posts on here about mapping triggers and preparing to beat them ahead of time? For me the biggest triggers are - morning right when I wake up (normally I'll have coffee and at least a couple cigarettes); around lunchtime when I've gotten some work done and I feel I deserve a "break"; during the afternoon during the workday and I also "deserve" breaks; when I'm walking to or from a subway (or just generally walking around outside) I feel the habit/instinct to have a cigarette (or two, or three...); and at night if I'm at my apartment I feel a craving to break the gaps of time before sleep by going outside to smoke throughout the evening. In writing all that, it seems like having "dead time" or "blue sky" time that's unstructured or just working is generally just a bad situation to be in - even if I'm working, time feels like it goes by longer, the cravings are right in front of my face the entirety of the time, and I think a common-denominator trigger is just wanting a change of scenery or something else to do besides what I'm doing that moment.

Thank you all for connecting with me on here and for writing comments on my last post! I really want this community to be a real tool during my quitting process so if anyone has tips on how to invest more in this community please let me know in the comments. (I've technically been a member on here for several months but I've only recently started reading the posts and deciding to bring my own challenges here too). Thanks again!

16 Comments
Puff-TM-Draggin

RE: "... most recently 5 days while on a visit to see my significant other's family."

Are you a closet smoker?  Wondering, since you would go five days without smoking while visiting your significant other's family.  I was a closet smoker and hated going on trips with people because I would have to sneak smokes or go without.  Often, I went without.  People who haven't been smokers might think, if you can go five days without smoking, then you must not be a real smoker or, if you can go five days without smoking, then quitting should be no problem.  But I craved those cigarettes for five days, and I knew that when I got home I was going to have cigarettes ... it was simply a matter of delayed gratification.

Some of us smoked a cigarette every twenty minutes, some every hour, some every two hours.  I suppose as long as our brain is telling us it wants another cigarette and we are still planning on gratifying that desire, we are smokers; just between cigarettes.

RE: "I need a new "keystone habit" that can be a new productive thing around which my other habits can improve too."

Finding stress-free, time consuming activities is a good approach to avoiding smoking during those early weeks when the craves are still strong, your body is adjusting, and you haven't had much time to undo so many false associations you've linked to smoking and everyday life activities.  The key is not 'habit', as much as it is 'time-consuming,' in my opinion.  You could do something different every day, as long as it is time-consuming.  You just need to plow through the time it takes to adjust and un-associate.  I would work myself so hard and long that when I came in for the day I didn't have time to worry about smoking.  I was beat and when I woke up, back to whatever my task of the day happened to be.  Bike riding could be great, because you can take some long rides and consume time that way.

RE:  "... the process of quitting is basically all about the mental game after a short couple days (which feel like an eternity...) of nicotine withdrawals, and succeeding in the mental game basically means succeeding day-after-day at weathering the storm of cravings."

Right.  Scientists say you are technically over the physical effects of nicotine withdrawal after three days, (seemed a heck of a lot longer to me,) and that the rest of the process is unlearning habits.  I think habit is a misnomer for unlearning all the false associations we've created between smoking and living life.  Before I understood quitting, I was frustrated that I continued to feel powerful cravings to smoke after three days.  After all, I was supposed to be beyond withdrawal.  Hello?  Day 18 here! Why in the h&ll do I still want to smoke so badly?  At eighteen days, I still remember vividly the dopamine rushes.  I used to get one before starting a task, during breaks from a task, as a reward for completing a task.  When I had a really good day, I smoked.  When I was pissed off, I smoked.  And when I smoked, I would go outside and smell the fresh air, watch the sun set and reflect, notice the shapes of the clouds and wonder ... all while getting high on nicotine.  Everything I did had a remembrance of that happy, ticklish cerebral orgasm.  So, yeah ... it takes a lot of time to undo all those false associations; to realize that the high was an end in and of itself and an unessential part of any other task or situation.  The cravings associated with these remembrances, while frequent with which to begin, fortunately don't last very long at a time.  You simply need to power through them and any method of distracting yourself from them for that short period of time should work:  sucking straws, chewing lemons, head in the freezer, summer-salts, frozen grapes, I've heard a lot.  My favorite was holding my breath.  Perhaps most powerful of all to relieve these cravings is dismiss them without thought, i.e. N.O.P.E., "I don't do that anymore," etc.  Dismiss it and move on.

RE:  "I need to identify triggers ahead of time and have a clear predetermined plan for how I'll get past those cravings."

I found this site after I had already begun my quit, (looking for support online how to deal with withdrawal,) so I didn't do much of the preparation work of identifying triggers.  Personally, I believe everything was a trigger.  I was an addict; had so many triggers you could have mistaken me for a military grade machine gun.  I think having a plan with which to deal or dismiss cravings is more important than trying to anticipate when they may strike.  See above for dealing with cravings.  There is a lot of information on this site for identifying triggers.  I expect others will already have directed you to them before I even post my response.  You do need to be committed to 'not smoking,' no matter what and if that means changing your routine to minimize the opportunity, do it.  In the morning, go straight for the shower.  Take your coffee to the bathroom with you and drink it while you get ready for the day, perhaps?  Something other than sitting and thinking that at that moment, except for your quit, you would be smoking.  Remember:  dismiss and distract.  During breaks or at lunchtime, read a book or, better yet, log on and blog away, if you're able.  Walking around the city?  Count the joints in the sidewalk or go through the alphabet looking for words that start with each consecutive letter.  It doesn't have to be rocket science.  Mind you, nothing is going to make the cravings stop except time.  You do have to go through it to get to the other side.  The less time you dwell on cravings and negative thoughts the greater your chances of success.  Be positive!  I often wonder if, rather than referring to quitting, we should talk about 'beginning."  You are giving up nothing worth having in return for a healthier life, more money in your pocket, greater self-esteem ... well, you'll read it all over the place.  The benefits of quitting are innumerable.  

If you really want this, it's yours for the taking.  It's not a switch that you flip.  It's a journey.  And we're all here to encourage, support, cheer, steer, and share it with you.

Welcome!

Bree19
Member

Hey there again.  You are so well on your way with your quit plan.  Just reading your blog shows you're giving quitting this addiction a lot of attention and valuable thinking and planning.

The clever ones will be along soon with real advice.

"real tool" - we have many tools here - you'll still mee...oh yes.  No.  Sorry!  

I see now where you were going.   

No worries - I love each one of the people here.

Stick around, read and yell HELP as a blog title when you need it.

Bree

Mandolinrain
Member

I am impressed with your attitude and your determination to understand and follow through with this quit. Beautiful. I can't add much to whats already been said, but I agree with it all.

One thing I will share that really helped me in some ruff times with craves  was Vicks Vapor rub. I know it sounds crazy but it immediately crushed craves . I would put it under my nose. I have little blue bottles everywhere. I even bought a vicks vapor inhaler, which I rarely used but kept handy in emergency.

Am anxious to watch your beautiful quit florish, good for you!!! 

Mandolinrain
Member

Puff, I love your posts and your advice. very good!

Chuck-2-20-2011

You've really got the right attitude for quitting, it seems to just need a little refining. When I was preparing to quit, I found a cigarette tracker on line as a link from the Colorado Quitline. You could actually very easily make one for yourself. (Actually, there may be one on this site. I really should check that out, I think).

 Anyway, this thing had four columns. One was for the time I wanted to smoke. The next was how I felt emotionally during the time when I wanted the cigarette. The next was what I was doing when I wanted a cigarette. And the last was how long between cigarettes. 

 For me, this was very useful. The first thing I discovered was that I smoked thirty to thirty-five cigarettes a day. Way more then I realized. Also, I knew some of my basic triggers and worked on them during my preparation stage. For instance, my biggest trigger was driving. The very first thing I did during my preparation was to quit smoking while driving. I even went so far as to clean my ashtray so I wouldn't use it. 

 Next was the after dinner smoke. At first, I delayed that cigarette for five minutes after I ate. Then ten minutes and then fifteen until I got to waiting an hour before I smoked after eating. Same with the mornings. I'd delay that morning smoke by five minutes every day until I reached an hour.

 Also, I continued tracking my nicotine addiction with my smoking tracker and started delaying the time before I smoked every time I had a crave by five minutes. Basically, the objective is to disassociate the trigger form actually smoking when it occurs. I even tried practice quits to teach me what to expect when I actually chose to begin walking the path to freedom.

 I chose to use the patch when I quit. But quitting is a very personal thing. There is no right or wrong way to quit. We just have to find the method that will work best for us, and then stick to the quit plan.

I look forward to hearing of your success!!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck 

Puff-TM-Draggin

I love your posts that love my posts.  = )

Mandolinrain
Member

And I love your posts that say you love my posts that love your posts

cookiemonster00

Thank you! This is super actionable and helpful. I copy/pasted the specific craving-buster ideas and routine-change ideas to have them on hand. Really appreciate your ideas!

cookiemonster00

Thank you for the encouragement!

cookiemonster00

Thanks! 

cookiemonster00

Helpful, thank you!

cookiemonster00

Buying Vicks Vapor Rub tonight, thank you!

Puff-TM-Draggin

Keep us posted.  Have you picked a quit date yet, or do you still have more prep. work you plan to do?

cookiemonster00

This makes a lot of sense (disassociating triggers from the actual act of smoking). Thank you!