Start over. Not giving up!!

[ranimarie]

I must change my quit date. I tried to start way to early without doing any research. I have been reading  the links that many have sent me.I am learning alot about quitting and just reading,makes me feel confident that I can quit. Staying on this sight with wonderful supportive people helps so much and thank you all. But I feel I need a more solid plan. I do all this reading and then look around at the filth in my house from smoking. I'm older so I smoke in my house. Always have. I look arouond at the nicotine stained walls and curtains and the smell in my furniture and I absolutely hate it. I can't sit here in this mess. (and I mean the filth from smoking which you close your eyes to when you are a smoker.) I love pretty smells and pretty things. I get rid of the smell and the filth and it will calm my nerves alot. that is a verry important step  for me in preparation to quit. Not giving up just getting ready. The cleaning and geting rid of the smell is helping greatly.

[tracyb316]

smoked everyday in my house so yes know the feeling, what i did was1 st rule no more in the house, to humans eye my house is clean, but like you said its all over the walls, furniture, clothes, I still didn't get that. Had to sleep @a family members last night, 6 days smoke free today,,  so come home lol walked in, started gaging. My husband it like whats wrong, (me) you dont smell that? really?  Lucky for me I have a 12 and 8 yrs who thinks washing the walls is fun, My laundry is been going all day everything stinks. Febreze, everyone is screaming stop spraying but i can't. claeaning taking a break reading blogs, time to clean again lol.

[ranimarie]

Congratulations on the 6 days!! it's like an addiction of it's own, having pretty, clean smelling home. With a lot  of pretty shiny things around me. Healthy addiction though. and it feels good. I'm with ya. No more smoking in the house. It's going to feel so good to have all those pretty smells around me.

[Nyima_1.6.13]

Your addicted voice is still more convincing than your quit voice! How can we help you overcome that voice! It will never let you believe you are 'ready'! There will never be a perfectly clean house with no remnants of smoking, you just have to decide it is time to quit! Believe me, if you clean in between smoke breaks....it still stinks!

[newlife5]

yeah when you first start being able to smell again.. the smells can be overwhelming

[YoungAtHeart]

Also, keep in mind that cleaning it all provides plenty of crave-buster activity AFTER you quit.  There is no time like the present to get started on your journey to freedom.  Methinks the cleaning just might be an excuse to put it off............and we here have heard (and used) most of them!

If you have your plan made, including the quit aid, if any, you will use, and your lists of things to do instead of smoke, then you are READY.  In the words of Henry Ford, "If you think you can or think you can't, you're right." 

Think you CAN!

Nancy

Quit 7/4/12

[joyeuxencore]

Hi there! When I found the EX site I set my quit day for 5 days later...I had been THINKING about quitting for years...I did the prep exercises on the EX homepage and downloaded the Alan Carr book & printed it out...When the quit day came I was SURE I was NOT ready and needed more TIME and Alan Carr says to smoke while you read the book and the voice in my head was very loud...I decided to do it anyway. I decided for once I was going to DO what I had said I would DO...I thought...well I am going to get through my quit day and if I still want to smoke tomorrow I will...That night I was SO PLEASED with myself for doing it! The next day I didn't want to blow the whole day and change the date...That was 216 days ago. I came here and blogged...the EX community and the tools and strategies I learned got me through...I did not clean my house for 4 months I kid you not...I watched tv, ate whatever I wanted, gained weight and walked my dog A LOT...At 4 months quit I cleaned up my diet, my house, started exercising and lost the weight. I wasn't READY to quit...I did it anyway...So can you! xo

[wishingstar]

You just got do it, their is not right time to quit. Like Nancy said, cleaning is a great urge buster. If you keep puttingit  off , you won't do it .You will find an other excuess not to start. 

Do it while you still have a chance, Don't wait until its to late and you don't have a choice, you know what can happen do you really want to play  Russian Roulett. with your life???

Renee 1 month

[TigerLadie]

your first sentence is grammatically incorrect.  Correct me if I am wrong please

I believe you meant to say... I must change my addictive behavior.  I must honor my quit date.... I must choose NOT to smoke... I must believe in me....  I can do this.... I AM doing this... I will not let myself down... today is a GREAT day to choose AIR  

It may not be easy... but it sure is simple.... don't light it

[zinamarie]

I also did not hear your quit voice. I heard your excuses voice.  But I did hear your 'call for help' voice.    I have to ask, what's the use of cleaning all that stuff...hours and hours and hours of scrubbing, the time, the  money, the energy, ....  if you're going to keep smoking while your doing it?  That makes NO sense!

So. When are you going to start smoking outside?  You are adult, you can make this adult decision.  Then you can set your quit date.  Make a schedule to read the material and clean up the mess.  Better to clean your enviornment then to have them come in and start removing pieces of your lungs!  This is serious, but you know that. 

I look forward to getting to know you.  Protect Your Quit.

[ranimarie]

Well!! Thank you all for that!! Love you guys and appreciate the help. For me the cleaning is a great start!!  The pretty smells are encouraging to me since it's one of my favorite reasons for quitting. I must absolutely must concentrate on the postivie. 

To tell you all a little bit about myself.  I'll try to make it as quick and painless as possible.

Last August, I suffered from several mini strokes.and I didn't wven know if until I fell out of bed one night. I was very confused and unable feel might right side. I was scared and still am scared when I think about it. I couldn't feed myself for a couple of days. Lost my balance when I walked. (still do). This would give me every reason in the world to quit and I am serious about it. I was on the patch in the hospital and ready to quit smoking, eat right and exercise.

The hard part is.at the same time I was released form the hospital my grandson, 9 years old was coming into the emergency room. He was playing with his friend and went unconscious. They discovered he had a blodd clot to his brain and was airlifted to the city hospital. ( He never had any signs of any health problems). He never recovered from surgery and went to be with Jesus. (crying now)

That was hard to deal with and still is.

[ranimarie]

Continued... anyway, my mom was living with me at the time. My husband was out of work so it was up to me to keep things going. i made myself recover as quickly as I could. however my hours had been cut so we were struggling financially.

A couple of months later my dog died. and yes that was heartbreaking. My little buddy. But I keep going. I had my mom to take care of. Not really taking care of myself. Although I was  trying to change my eating habits and go for walks for exercise. 

Two months later my mom passed away. That was it. I was a complete emotional wreck. Just too much all at once.

I could no longer hold on financially either and had to give up everything I worked for. Well my home and my car. I am blessed though that at least we still had the mobile home to go to.

A couple of weeks later I had another ministroke. I woke up and completely couldn't feel my right side. I think it is mostly because of all the stress and the smoking. I know I have to quit and am serious about it.

[ranimarie]

I understand about addiction because of other addictions that I have had. smoking is a tough one though. 

 And my point to all this is I must stay positive while I am quitting. I have gotten great advice forom some wonderful people on here and I have only been hee a few days.

I know life happens but I need a break. truly. And the plus side is I am feeling stronger than I was. Even a little stronger everyday.

I have so much to be grateful for. And I have to remember that.