Some of you have hurt my friends feelings.

[lostinvegas0]

An hour ago my very close friend called me over some of the comments that were made regarding a post she made about E CiGs.I am one of the friends she mentioned in her post that had used the E Cig's to quit tobacco. Let me explain how we ended up using the E Cigs. I wanted to quit, my friend (the infamous blogger) and I had talked about it for a few weeks. I had investigated e cigs and ordered some from an online company. When they arrived I was smoking over a pack, sometimes up to two packs, of Marlboro Reds a day. One puff on the e cig and I have not picked up another cigarette. My friend quit one day after I did. As a result we spent hours on the phone agonizing over weather these were any better then regular cigarettes. We looked at all of the resources we could find. My friend was not comfortable with trusting that the e cigs were any better then regular cigarettes so she gave those up as well. Because I still used them I was no longer a good support system for her, so she turned to this site. She found this site to be very helpful and comforting and because of that she wanted to post about her experience. The blog she posted was well-written and 100% her experience. The studies that she mentioned were found in the hours she and I spent on the phone looking on the computer for information about the e cigs. At the time she posted it, she felt really good about becoming a contributor and hopefully providing someone else with comfort and support.

I wrote all of that to say this….. My friend called me at 11 PM on a Friday night upset because she felt that she could not comfortably participate in the site anymore.

The comments about her post was like having a rug pulled out from under her.

REALLY????? THIS IS A SUPPORT SITE!!!!!

When someone tells you their experience quitting, aren’t the other people supposed to say CONGRADULATIONS and Thanks for the info.

I can’t figure out why you would comment as to why her methods of quitting were bad or not valid. People went so far as to comment on her JOB performance.

By the way I work with her and she is excellent at what she does. 

[bagzi]

Hi, my name is Donna , I go by the name Bagzi here on this site.  I haven't seen your friends blog but I do know how she feels.  Something very similar happened to me.  I am a newby as of 8/22/2013.  The way I took care of the negative feedbacks I received was I placed a "p.s." at the bottom of my blog to let people know my tips were not for the purpose of overriding what we are learning here on this site but it's intended to be helpful.  I am the type of person who loves to here different ideas and such.  I even wrote another blog encouraging people to share different ways of quitting (to share their ideas and tips)  PLEASE let her know from me not to get discouraged.  Even though there are people out there who are unconfortable with new ideas.  There are people out there, such as I, who appreciate new ideas, tips, and such.  I believe the more I learn somehing new the better it is for me.  If she needs a friend, please send her my way.  I would feel honored to be her friend.  Maybe together we could learn from eachother.  Hope you have a better weekend.   

[kshields59]

Hi, My name is Kelly, I know where your friend is coming from. I was that same way Dec. of last yr. I too had some pretty rude comments, about those E-cigs. Really, they are not worth it. Not FDA approved. I had spent times reading books, on quitting smoking. Receiving E-mails from Terry Martins; Quitting smoking. Terry Martin; has alot of interesting lessons etc. You can have your friend, look into it. Just let her know she does have friends here, incl. me. If she wish's to blog to me that will be great, the same with you. I can help her with tips, I have received from others on this site. It is how we learn here, keeping a journal is what I do, Along with a photo if my daughter, with a saying, that reads; THIS IS MY REASON NOT TO SMOKE. Let alone some health issues. Just let her know she has friends who care. Have a great weekend, and your friend also. I will be Praying for her, and for you.

[gypsy7]

I have not read your friends blog either, but please let her know that this site and some if not most people on here are wonderful. If she looks at my page/ my blogs. I asked if anyone had tried the e-cig etc. I am glad for the info they sent because I am not good with computers and reseach. I would have not known the potential problems otherwise. Please tell your friend to keep coming and she can always message me or others for support if she doesnt feel comfortable blogging anymore. I am also glad she has you for a friend and happy for your quit as well. As for myself I am still struggling but hope to get the best of it 🙂 Best wishes and good luck to you both!

[Thomas3.20.2010]

When everybody gets their say the results are messy - sometimes very messy! That doesn't mean that "everybody" thinks the same way. We have a saying here: Take what you need and leave the rest. To be helpful is our only goal! Why focus on the negative? There is at least as much positive support and info as negative - actually much much more! If you can't read past the parts you don't find useful then you're right! You need a different community!

[nanawendy]

Take What You Need And Leave The Rest !! I believe your friend asked for opinions on the e-cig, and everyone is different. While some believe they are great others believe that they are just a way to stay addicted to nicotine. As Thomas says "to be helpful is our only goal" and I know that her blog turned into a cyber debate, some positive and  some negative feedback. I also know that your friend followed up with a blog that was very upsetting to some, such as calling people stupid among other things (before she deleated the offending parts ). So if your friend is going to be upset every time someone does not agree with her, then maybe he needs a different community

keep calm and carry on

Wendy

12/31/12

[joyeuxencore]

Hello! You have come to your friend’s defense…a lovely quality! Having hurt feelings is a part of life...not my favorite part let me tell you! I am sensitive and do best with kindness. Early in my quit I was pretty much an emotional wreck (one of the symptoms of withdrawal from nicotine and re-learning life outside the smoke screen) and any comment could send me into a defensive mode. I had a run in on my blog with someone on the site who has been here for YEARS and it really messed with me...I used it as an opportunity to grow spiritually...It is only an attack if I perceive it that way...I chose to be willing to see it differently... It took a few days of expressing that willingness to myself and whatever God is but eventually my heart opened and sure enough I was relieved of the hurt. I went to his page, read all about him….read many of his past blogs and got a real sense of who he is and how much time he has put in helping people…I wrote him a private message apologizing for my part in the misunderstanding (getting defensive and making comments I deleted) and although we have never become ‘besties’ here on EX we have a mutual respect and support for each other. I find that any disagreement here can be best resolved person to person with courtesy and kindness. I am not tough love gal but I appreciate those who are as that approach is the ONLY thing that helps some people...Many ‘elders’ and others keep leaving the site as the relapse rate is way up from a year ago so folks are particularly hard core about certain things and e-cigs are a big controversy…the reason is they ‘mimic’ smoking and our goal is to re-learn life without them. That being said it sounds like your friend was successful with a short term use of them and her future input will be beneficial for the next person who comes along and wants to use them. The key is SHORT TERM just to get through the first couple days…You yourself can Expect negative comments if you keep using them…you will be so much healthier thus happier without ingesting the insecticide called nicotine…Not an opinion…a fact. That being said if you were smoking that much and this is helping for today and you are committed to putting them down…and you are actually successful doing so…YOUR input will be beneficial for someone who needs to do the same…WE ALL HAVE our place here and all are welcome despite what anyone says…WELCOME!

[Jordan-11-1-12]

I didn't comment on her first blog about e cigs.  Only the one where she started out by saying that she is a teacher and therefor use to making people aware of others points of view, and then proceded to purposely belittle and insult and (to use her own word)  "cut" people.  It pushed some buttons, so my response to her was mainly about her delivery (please excuse spelling) and since she began the blog saying that she was qualified to address this because she is a teacher.... well, that implied that this was the way she teaches her students.     Like I said, I didn't respond to her first blog.... should I have reacted to feeling attacked because of the snide way she tore apart what I believe about E cigs?  If not, then why is it ok that she did by blogging to try and hurt people? Now that I've explained where I was coming from, I'm done with this drama.  She never left the site, has been communicating with others, commenting on blogs. More power to her.