But Mr. Jonescaarp how is one to grow if one doesn't test the waters? I've found that letting one be a free spirit is the only way one can blossom into the being one may long to be. Failure never hurts one until one gives up.
@ Patty-cake - That's DR. Spock & how are we to get along if not for harmony & mutual respect? I forgive you as I do the other hard-liners here like Jonescarp & Mike n @lanta.
Feel free to test the waters. (remember the signs that say no swimming)... you can't LET someone be a free spirit.... and failure here not only hurts but kills.... but if you want to SUCCEED... you will listen to those who can offer wisdom. Growth here means protecting your quit..... it doesnt mean do everything opposite of what long term quitters tell you works and then wonder why you fail. nobody here can make you quit... save your quit... or tell you what advice to take and what not to take... you take what you need and leave the rest.... but if drinking lowers your inhibitions and a LOT of people tell you that's when they lost their quit.... then you MIGHT just want to listen.... but then again... you might just want to make EXcuses.... Good day... I said good day sir!
Dr Spock, I am enjoying my free spirit and have blossomed into a very happy EX smoker of 196 days. I did this by listening to these "hard liners" and taking their knowledge seriously, as they have paved the way for me by being where I am now.
DR SPOCH, is it, well the old main liners are the ones who have made it how about you, i looked on your page and there is nothing there, so if you do not let us know who you really are, i will say you MR are a TROLL
I truly feel that as long as you put your quit first you should continue to do all the things you love..that includes some drinks. I'm not a big drinker but cocktails with friends is something that happens in my world and I need to be able to do that without smoking. That being said you need to be smart about it. I have never lost a quit when drinking but I have in moments of not putting my quit first or just not caring at that moment!
DUH ! this is a stop smoking site, it you want so much sappy stuff, go to another kind of site, or if you are real, try to offer some concret advice to help some one, if you can,t do that, you my dear mr. are not helping
Dr Spock was a well noted baby DR if I remember correctly??? I don't imbibe but I am treating my quit like a baby......if some of those hardliners had taken a firmer stand when a bunch of us had started slippin N slidin maybe I wouldn't have lost my quit at day 17......now I am back on day 3. Just sayin.
Think I better clarify previous statement. I in NO WAY blame anyone here for my smoking, I made the choice to stick that cig in my mouth. I WANTED to test myself and see if I could have JUST one. I CAN"T. Everyone here councils everyone to just say nope. However.......I do still feel that a more forcefull tone??? instead of all the hugs and kisses would have made me think longer and harder about that choice. I know each and every one of us are different and you elders have seen all this time and time again so you handle it in the best way possible for each of us AND I do appreciate all the time and effort you so freely give.
But DR Spock.......thank you for your input......but I plan on listening to Dale and all the Nancy's and Nyema and the Mikes and Thomas and Joy. THEY know their stuff. But you with your touchy-feely-harmony can go suck a bottle. LOL
This is a bizarre blog. I mean, not the blog--the blog is sensible, but the commentary is...weird. On both sides, guys, sorry.
But it's okay to experiment. It is! But I wouldn't do it when the stakes are so high. Once someone realizes how serious the consequences of this are, I don't know why they'd want to experiment. This isn't throwing pickle juice into the crockpot with the rest of the leftovers and holding your nose (which I've done before in early marriage days. Now my husband cooks!). It IS life and death. And drinking lowers your inhibitions...WHY would you gamble like that early on, to use Patty's word?
But I say this, and I also drink--often and in considerable quantities. I just went in with a plan at the beginning...and I drink more now than I did back then, for sure, and I feel VERY secure in my quit. I am ABSOLUTELY aware of the one-puff rule of addiction. But...maybe I'm exchanging one coping mechanism for another...hmm...food for thought.
@ Jonescarp - I think there something amiss with my l key. Anyway I'm only here because my dear friend Dr. Timothy Leary said you all could use a little peace, love and understanding.
This thread is hilarious. Really. Y'all are a witty bunch. Glad the message wasn't missed, though and that the subject made some people think. About what THEY think. Thanks, everyone. xo~mlb
You may very well have a point, Dale...but can I just add a thought? If I wrote a blog today about being proud of protecting my quit while going out and drinking, and then I read this...I would go from feeling really proud of myself to feeling about an inch tall. Confidence is SO key for some of us in working out a way to beat this thing...I hope whoever's blog you read to inspire this is not one of them. I can see you have a lesson to teach here, but does it have to be at the expense of someone? As always, with respect ~mlb
Nothing wrong with confidence & positive affirmation. Drinking DOES lower inhibitions & causes us to make bad decisions. That's a fact. I don't have any particular scientific studies to prove it, only personal experience. Anyone quitting who goes out drinking in the first few weeks & for some even months is jeopardizing their quit. I don't think we're saying to quit drinking but to put your quit first.
Hello,
My name is Dale. I was quit 18 months before joining this site and had participated on another site during that time. I learned a lot there and brought it with me. I joined this site the first week of August 2008. I didn't pressure myself to quit.
HOW I QUIT
I didn't count, I didn't deny myself to get started.
When I considered quitting (at a friends request to influence his brother to quit), I simply told myself to wait a little longer. No denial, nothing painful. After 4 weeks I was down to 5 cigarettes from a pack a day. The strength came from proving to myself, I didn't need to smoke because I normally would have smoked. Simple yes? I bought the patch. I forgot to put one on on the 4th day. I needed it the next day but the following week I forgot two days in a row I put one in my wallet with a promise to myself that I would slap it on and wait an hour rather than smoke. It rode in my wallet my first year.There's nothing keeping any of you from doing this. It doesn't cost a dime. This is about unlearning something you've done for a long time. The nicotine isn't the hard part. Disconnecting from the psychological pull, the memories and connected emotions is. :-) Time is the healer.
