Smoking is killing me

[kt6256322]

My whole pregnancy I was unable to stop smoking. I didn’t have the support I needed from my partner. He just told me he’d be mad if the baby had problems after he was born from smoking. Well needless to say there where problems. He came out not breathing. I felt so guilty. My son my precious baby was not breathing for 1 1/2 minutes. He was okay thank god. The lasting effects were nicotine with draw he was very fussy and upset all of the time. That day he was born was the day I stopped smoking but I had my own set of complications after returning home I got preclampsia. My blood pressure went up. My legs swelled and I returned to the hospital in the middle of the 2020 pandemic. Previous health history of having a stroke after my first child I was scared. And on the brink of the unknown. 24 hours of medication and another day of observation. My swelling went down. My blood pressure returned to normal. And I was reunited with my baby boy after two days. I still did not return to smoking. Then we got a phone call to pick up my step son to come live with us. That added a lot of stress. He needed a lot of attention and help gaining the skills to live a normal life after being in foster care for almost a year. From neglect and abuse. This is when I started smoking again. And haven’t been able to quit since. It’s been three months now I’ve been smoking again. And my health is in poor condition. I need to quit before I end up in the hospital again away from my boys.

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to the Ex and congrats on your desire to quit smoking.  That's the first step.   Quitting is not easy and we've all had reasons not to quit.  Life is stressful and it takes work learning how to cope without smoking when that's how we've handled it most of our lives.  

After many attempts, learning about nicotine addiction and having a quit plan made it possible for me.My EX Plan | BecomeAnEX   Read everything you can on this site.  There is a wealth of information that will help you with your quit. And the support from fellow quitters has contributed to my success and many others.   

Learning new associations instead of smoking is part of your quit plan.   Being prepared in advance with how you'll cope with the good times and the bad without a cigarette is key.  

Decide if you want to use NRT, medication or quit cold turkey.

We're here to support you.   Just reach out anytime you need encouragement. Pick a date and begin your journey to being smoke free.

You can do this one day at a time.

Barb

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Here's my no stress way to quit.

No counting, no denial.

You will smoke less automatically, and get off auto pilot.

Every time you think of smoking say, "I'm going to wait a little longer."

This is not a torture test. 

Try it.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to the community!

Glad you are here.  We can help! 

Don't look back, you aren't going that way!  What is done is done and all that you CAN control is what is in front of you.  Seems like you do have a lot on your plate, but your health seems to be calling out to you to quit before its too late.  Keep in mind that there is NEVER a good reason to smoke - there are but excuses.  Don't make them anymore!!!  Lots of us here smoked for 20-30-40 years and we were successful.  You CAN do this, too.  Do the reading, planning, preparation, and commitment.  We can help with the support!

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[kt6256322]

Thankyou Nancy this helps a lot!! I’m not really sure how to use the site but I do get emails every time someone comments so I can respond back. It’s nice to have such great support from people. Thankyou again

[kt6256322]

I will try it I noticed myself doing this automatically and I’ve done other things instead of smoking. Yesterday I cleaned almost the whole house 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Hearing that phrase every time you think of smoking conditions your thinking and sets you up for change.

[sweetplt]

Hello and Welcome to Ex’s...You have some good advice above me...work the program....Your Life Depends on it...

~ Colleen 623 DOF 

[maryfreecig]

Quitting cigarettes, I've found is a lot like quitting any other drug where addiction/dependency are the drivers. First you quit, do the behavioral changes to stop the activity. Eventually you work on the mind...understanding that this is an addiction--mind body and spirit have to be taken care of in order to stay smober. First, one step at a time, then a day, then two. 

You can get beyond the addiction.

[indingrl]

 for SHARING YOUR heavy heart - it was SUGGESTED to ME - to educate MYSELF - on MY NICOTINE addiction and NO ONE else's - please read ALL info here on - beconeEX offers and the EXteam blogs - Dr Hays blogs and also ALL the blogs from everyone here SHARING their OWN personal experience strength and stories on HOW each individual lives day by day as NON SMOKERS  - please take what HELPS and let go of the rest - to be HELPFUL is MY only aim - thank you - it was also SUGGESTED to ME - to go to whyquit.com -there is early DEATH videos o watch - some family members HOPE to HELP other NICOTINE ADDICTS - by SHARING the loss of loved ones who died from SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS - the family's HOPE - some ONE will CHOOSE to be a NON SMOKER after they watch the videos shared - also-  there is a FREE book called - Never Take Another Puff Ever by Joel - who has been HELPING NICOTINE ADDICTS FOR OVER 40 YEARS for FREE - I am so glad YOUR choosing to STOP SUCKING ON DEATH STICKS- please bite into a lemon when a crave hits and come here and blog BEFORE YOU take that first puff over YOU - remember YOU are NOT ALONE - WE - TOGETHER - WILL STAY NON SMOKERS ONE DAY AT A TIME- Yahooooooo

[breakthecurse]

It’s hard. Very hard. I used Chantix for my first quit 10 years ago and was able to stay quit until I tried vaping over a year ago.  
I used Chantix again for vaping, which isn’t recommended but it helped. There are options out there.

It helped me tremendously to say “I’m in control and I can smoke/vape if I want too, but I’m choosing not to vape today”. It gave me my power back over nicotine.

I read that you can’t scare yourself into change, it has to come from positive thoughts. So instead of telling yourself you can’t have a cigarette, tell yourself you can but you’re choosing to be healthy for your sons instead... or whatever reason you set for the day. 

and Remember: You’re a mother... you were made to do brave and incredible things. 

[elvan]

You have gotten lots of great advice, keep in mind that we have all been where you are & we all remember it. The beginning is hard but remember that this is a one day at a time journey! Smoking really does nothing FOR you, only TO you. 
Welcome to EX!

Ellen