Before I left the house, Id count how many cigs I had in my pack, it was never enough. Always opened a new pack to take with me. If I was gonna be gone for the day, I always took a spare pack.
I always bought cartons. heck they are cheaper that way 🙂
how many packs do I have left in this carton, lets see, its gonna snow tomorrow , so even though I have 3 packs left, I better go get a new carton now, in case we get snowed in.
I always arranged my packs of cigarettes,neatly in a row, stacking them in the freezer, side by side, counting them, ok that should last til next wednesday, so Tuesday I will go buy more, then count the money I had in my purse and make sure I had enough to cover it.
after an hour of shopping at wal mart, approaching the check out, waitin g in line I grew more furious by the second, to myself thinking HURRY UP MAN I NEED A CIGARETTE, feelin my heart beating, getting mad, tapping foot, causing myself stress, not talkin to no one, not doin anything but focusing on that cigarette, then you hear "NEED A MANAGER ON REGISTER 3 PLZ" OMGGG are you kiddin me man, whats her problem
I burned somany dinners cause I was havin a smoke break.
each time I put a cigarette out, I was already thinking of my next one. "ok Im gonna go do the dishes real fast, then I can have another one"
I smoked while I vacumed, even flicked the ashes on the floor and vacumd them up LOL I heard some place it was "good for carpet" LOL
I smoked while my bath water was filling up, THEN i lit one to smoke while i was soaking in the tub "relaxing" stretchingggggggggggg to put it out in the toilet, before relaxing in my bath
Man I got to the point where I smoked so much, I never bought cigs at the same location 2 times in a row, Id spread it out between 3 stores.
I used to sneek around my neighbors, who knew I smoked, I just didnt want them to see me smoking again ALREADY - my neighbor even said to me, you're always smoking aren't you.
I always scheduled break times to smoke, no matter what I did or where I was. Constantly planning ahead, when I was gonna smoke.
I live 5 min from wal mart, I smoked 2, sometimes 2 on the way, then again on the way back.When I went to the mall, Id go outside to take some breaks, then go shop some more.
every time I left the house, grabbing those cigarettes and counting them, sometimes Id forget my lighter, not realizing til I was down the road and come alllll the way back to get it.
Basically my whole life was planned around smoking, my every thought, every minute was consumed by smoking, if I wasnt smoking, I was planning for my next one.
even when I started smoking outside, Id smoke one in the back yard, come inside and go right out the front door, where I sat, talked on the phone and enjoyed 3 or 4 or 10, whole time, looking around like an addict "did anyone see me? I hope no one is watching me
I had at least enough to get my through the morning, ususally a whole pack, then go buy some after I enjoyed an entire morning smoking, and drinkin coffee.
I used to fill up ashtrays to their MAX, look at it in disgust, hated what I saw, hated me for doing it, then Id dump it out, and fill it back up.
things is, everyone of these times I mentioned, I was deep down inside HATING WHAT I WAS DOING. Smoking stressed me OUT! Its so nice to leave the house now and not count cigarettes. Its nice to have the same amount of money in my purse now, as I did a week ago. Its nice not having to get out in the cold and buy cigarettes. Everything I mentioned were signs of an addict.
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