So it's been about 48 hours. I've still got this patch stuck on me. I've been wearing it even when I sleep because I don't trust me to put it on in the morning. Knowing me, I wouldn't put it back on in the morning and would buy cigarettes instead. The upside/downside to wearing it at night is that I have really vivid realistic dreams. Which is fine, and actually pretty fun, unless they're *ooooohhh* nightmares!
I was feeling like the patch was a bad idea for me because I have it in my head that I want to quit 'the sooner the better,' so there's a part of me arguing for taking lozenges instead of the patch. "That way, I could just take one when I had cravings and maybe beat this sooner," is how my thoughts go. Now, I understand, wouldn't it be nice to snap your fingers and be over the hump? Sure, but what's my big rush really? I've decided to completely ignore myself, because I guarantee you that my addictive mind is doing the talking when I want to rush things. I have already admitted that there's a big part of me that still is not ready to stop.
Truthfully, what's the real issue I'm having with the patch really? That it takes 8 weeks? That it doesn't satisfy my oral thing? Honestly, to me the lozenges taste like minty fresh black pepper Altoids, so it's not like they're much of an upgrade. I think that my real problem with the patch is that I'm supposed to wear it all day and not smoke when I'm on it. That I'm cornered. Whereas with the lozenge or cold turkey, it's easier to cheat. So for now, consider me cornered. For right now, I'm not going to let my addiction do the thinking.
Right now I'm working on the mental part of my addiction and the cravings that come with it. I'm learning how to live life without smoking. What's the big rush? Slow it down and stop trying to come up with ways so you can keep smoking. Slow down. This will all work out.
