Slipped

[Julie1960]

I have 4 months smoke free.  Well I am reading my 14 year old grandson again. He is out of control losts of things are going on.  Well I couldn't take it so I smoked took couple puffs threw it out the window. Did it again couple puffs out the window.  Have not touched another one.  But I have been thinking about it A lot.  I am having to fight the cravings like hell. Confession is good.  I am not going to beat myself up.  It happened I just have to make sure it doesn't again.  Plus I have been a basket case over the corona virus.  Anxiety .  Well thank you for letting me vent

[Julie1960]

Should be raising my grandson

[Giulia]

You're thinking about it a lot more now because you gave yourself permission to take that first puff.  Douse the cigarettes under the tap and throw them in the trash.  They will continue to tempt you, else.  So don't make it even harder on yourself.  /blogs/Giulia-blog/2015/04/09/it-s-not-the-puff-it-s-the-permission 

You don't need to beat yourself up.  You just need to figure out how not to make the same mistake in the future.  Begin anew.  Do some reading in the Relapse Prevention‌ group.  If anxiety is the cause of your relapse, then do some searching on how to relieve it.  Here's one such blog:  /blogs/Thomas3.20.2010-blog/2015/10/23/taking-anxiety-down-from-12-to-3-and-heading-for-0 

Smoking won't solve your grandson's problem.  And it won't solve yours.  And it won't ultimately make you feel better.  In fact, as you just found out - it makes you feel worse.  You've got to find something else to do when you "can't take it" any more.  So discover what that might be for yourself.  Think of it as a new homework assignment.  Sometimes it takes us a while to get it right.  Keep working at it.  And keep venting when you need to.  It can help to relieve some of that anxiety before it builds to the boiling point.

[RoseH]

Been there, done that  Julie1960‌  (Have over 600 days now and do NOT do it any more!)

Addiction to Nicotine is the plain and simple answer and I mean no offense.  I did not understand that truly, either...  One is never enough.  One thousand is never enough.  When you smoke, you start the whole nightmare process all over again!  Quit and never buy, beg or borrow another one!  The only way you can win is to stay smoke free!  Post here before you smoke!  Get support here to not smoke!  NOPE means not one puff ever.  I do not have cravings any longer...  there is “light at the end of the tunnel”.

[sweetplt]

Hi Julie Julie1960 glad you came and were honesty about smoking...instead of smoking and/or before you pick up again .... come here and let us talk you down ... try and learn new things to help with anxiety (pray, breathing exercises, take a walk, meditation, etc.,) glad you are back in the journey...~ Colleen 521 DOF 

[YoungAtHeart]

I am wondering where you got those cigarettes?  If any are left, put them under running water, squish them and into the trash they go.  Keeping ANY around is giving yourself permission to fail!

Glad you are back at it!  So many take years to do that.  Try to remember the thought pattern that led to those puffs and make a plan NOW what you can do instead when it starts up again ( you are an addict; it WILL start up again).  Be prepared, not caught off guard.

Remember that slow/deep breaths, going slower and deeper with each, will work to reduce stress levels any time, anywhere!  Come here FIRST to vent - listening is what we do - and sometimes just the writing it out helps to get past it.

Let's get it done THIS time!

Nancy

[Tanuaj]

Hi Julie. I too slipped. I told myself to get back on the horse. I knew I had to set a new quit date. So I prepared. I found a new one way to deal with my trigger. To say out loud exactly how I feel. It felt good. I actually felt like I was so worth  something. The other person said to me you don’t have self worth? I just looked at him and said I don’t when I let you make me feel this way and I smoke. I don’t know if this helps you or not. I just want to tell you that you are worth so much more!!!   Become what you want to be. You can do it!

[maryfreecig]

     You tested, you found out you didn't want to smoke even in difficult situations. I wanted to find that part of me that could tolerate life on life's terms when I quit. I doubted I could. Turns out that by taking it one day at a time is a tried and true helpful route. I believe in smobriety--and that it grows one day at a time--not once and for all with one fantastic decision to quit. You grow your smobriety each day by choosing not to smoke, getting the support you need. By doing this, you will stop linking the troubles you may go through with hits of nicotine. Don't let the cravings discourage you, you already won by not giving in any further and by "confessing." Keep that kind of conviction first, front and center. Thanks for sharing.

[Julie1960]

Thanks

[Giulia]

Just thought about this recent blog:  https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/community/expert-advice/blog/2020/04/27/anxiety-and-stopping-smok... 

[Barbscloud]

Glad you're back on track.  Sorry you took those couple puff, but you didn't become a full blown smoker again.  That takes strength.  You learned that it didn't really help -- that's a revelation in itself. 

Stay close.  Reach out before you smoke--that's what we're here for.  We're always willing to listen.

Barb

[Mandolinrain]

Venting is good. Giulia 's  ...advise....GOLDEN.

It's done. Don't dwell. Determine what you will do the next time the thought comes to mind and act on that thought, not the desire to smoke. What comes easy won't last.....what lasts....won't come easy.

You can do it. No ice to slip on....just choices. Make yours count! I have the 2 year old twins for a few days .....I feel ya, lol, cheer up. Glad you are still with us, YOU are worth it!

[elvan]

Stay close, sorry things are so stressful but smoking really doesn’t help. It doesn’t change anything...believe that & get rid of any cigarettes, they will keep trying to get you back. Listen to the advice you have been given.

Ellen

[Tanuaj]

Thank you. Covid19 has me curious about what the future holds.

[Barbara145]

You smoked while going through NML (No Man's Land)  Read about it and be prepared the next time.  Smoking makes our worries worse.  It really does. You were doing great.  You can do it again.