Sick of being the strong one!

[nathan3]

I have never been one to bitch and moan ever! But I really do feel comfortable enough to get just a few things off my mind. I hope nobody minds. Today was day five with no smoke and things really hve gotten muck better. How ever other than this site I havent had one ouce of support from anyone I know! I dont know if it is because nobody thinks I can do it or if nobody really cares. Days 3-4 I have been sitting in a hospital 3 hours from home because my girlfriend (who I love dearly) has been haveing surgary on her spine. Talk about a downer not only that but I have been the only one here. Helping nurses and doing what ever else I can do to help. She is sleeping peacefuly now but I dont know for long. As I lay on the small fold up cot along the wall I find myself asking why do I have to be the stong one this time? When am I going to get alittle help? Why am I the only one here with here? Dont get me wrong I would be here anyways but someone to talk to someone to help me help her.I know I am way out of line and I am sorry for take up this space I just though maybe a few people would understand. I know I am not going to but I smoke would taste pretty frickin good right now!

[debbie53]

Truly, a smoke would NOT taste very good right now! Not after five day's without one. I'm sorry your there alone and feel so blue. Please know that it is part of the quitting process! I do hope your girlfriend is better soon and that the surgery is a success! It sounds like a long road for her though, so being strong for the both of you will most likely be on your shoulders a while longer. So, breath, relax and take it all one moment at a time and all the craves, one crave at a time. You've gone 5 day's thus far and that's quit an accomplishment! Be proud, be happy and be willing to just be!
I know those hospital cots suck, but try to rest and keep your chin up. It will get better and easier as each day passes. I promise!
Debbie

[Ben3]

Smoking a cigarette wont help you with your problems. You can get through this without smoking.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

It is said somewhere that we are never given more than we can endure. This doesn't sound as much like wanting to smoke as just getting weary of your trials.

Smoking will not help
Not smoking will keep your quit and self respect intact.

[karen44]

Being the other half of someone that's in the hospital can really suck if you are alone. Ask for help. Talk to the nurses and the other staff members. You would be amazed at the time they will take to talk to you. Tell them you are early in your quit and I bet at least one of them has been there too. Keep it together as best you can and don't forget that you are not alone in this quitting thing. I was pretty amazed to find out how many people have gone through it or were going through it when I was in the hospital. Keep blogging, asking questions. There is usually someone on here at all times so that you can get a quick response.

BTW...A smoke will make you feel sick to your stomach, light headed and will also taste like crap. Doesn't sound all the appealing to me!

[linda8]

Hello Nathan, sorry to hear you are there alone with you girlfriend while she goes through this. What a wonderful person you are to be their for her. I am sorry to say, but most people just don't take us seriously when we say we are going to quit, for many different reasons: one might be we have said it too many times before, and two would be that they have tried and failed so think we can't do it, three could be that they are not a smoker and just don't understand how nice it would be to get the support while you are going through this thing called quitting. Just remember that it is up to you to quit, and you have tons of support and understanding here on this wonderful web-site. I truly do not think I would be at 26 or 27 days, not sure which without looking anymore, without everyone and all of the help i have received from my fellow quitters on this web-site. Of course I mean smoking quitters, not quitting the quit. Anyway you hang in there and just remember you can do it!!!!

[stevecoons]

On the bright side (and I'm not trying to be glib), if you can get through this hardest part of quitting while dealing with some really legitimately ugly stressful stuff and limited support, then you know you can quit for good, and deal with the worst life can throw at you without smoking.

Be strong, and know that even if you don't get support from many people at home, we're all behind you here.

[Giulia]

As my stepfather said to me one day when I was holding a pity party for myself, crying about something I felt wasn't fair: "Who ever said life was fair?" Indeed. Whoever said life was fair? Sometimes we don't get back what we feel we are due. In my case I think that's MOST of the time. I feel like I put out so much and get so little acknowledgment back in response. Ya know what? Too bad. It's what's so. I've come to accept it.

And yeah, I don't agree with some of those who've posted above me. A cigarette probably would taste pretty good right about now. In our imagination anyway. In reality, no. Not the first or second puff, but maybe the third or fourth. And that's all it takes to get us back to the beginning. So don't buy into the demon's call.

Out of line - yeah. Your talkin' mostly about yourself when it's your girl friend who's in immediate jeopardy. Taking up space? No way. That's why we're here. Understand? You BET we do.

Hold on. Man I wish I had quit at 25. Do it for me, will ya? And all the others who wish they had stopped at age 25. But mostly do it for yourself. Because you've got your whole beautiful life ahead of you. Don't become like us.

[christine2007]

You're doing ok. Maybe "that" is the message for you. You "don't" need anyone other than your self to be STRONG and SUCCESSFUL.

You did it on your own without encouragement of those who know you. How cool is that??????????????

In everything there is a message and a lesson. Even the uncomfortable time spent on a cot... or quitting smoking... or thinking you need the encouragement of those who know you. Good job!

[claudia2]

Nathan, First off, you are an incredible young man, for real. I am going back to what Giulia said, to be 25 and to be smart enough to give these cancer sticks up now............pretty darn amazing. And to also go back to what Giulia said that her step father told her about being fair, my husband use to say to the kids when they would say, "That's not fair"! He would tell them "Fair is a word that doesn't exist in the dictionary"! But you are by her side, bless your heart for that, and you aren't smoking...........GREAT...............Just be strong. I had two major neck surgeries and she will need you help for a long time, so don't dare think of giving up now. You have shown a lot of strength you come to this site and speak about this. I sure hope she knows what a good man she has.....I don't know of many 25 year olds that would be sitting at their girlfriends bedside plus sleep over..........GOOD JOB!!! KUDOS!

[nicole]

nathan,
I hope you dont take my words to harshly. I also always have to be the strong one so im going to approach you...with the approach that i would need in that situation.

First...congrats on your quit you have much support here! Dont give up on yourself!
Second.....You HAVE to be the strong one right now because as you said....NOONE is there for her....where would she be without you....alone and scared....you would not want that for her i can tell by the love that you have for her cause after all lol you have been sleeping on a cot for the past three days! (my husband did that with me when 1 st son was born.....i adored him for it) And it is hard to take care of someone in that situation cause you do feel all alone. Talk to the nurses if need be i know a lot of them (not all) do offer a friendly ear and support to family members. And your not whining your just getting out some frustrations. You definitely are not outta line it does take its toll.....just try to think that the two of you are in this together....two against the world. I have to say this please dont be offended by it, its my humor and i hope it makes you smile......GET YOUR HELMET. Have a good day hopefully today will be better than the last.

[Sandra3]

Nathan I am sending you a hug kiddo! You are doing a great job and have taken on so much stress at one time. Being a caretaker 24/7 is so much work and not having a fmiliar face other than your girlfriend to look at IS tough. You are strong, but you are also human and need a break! You need a hug, you need to know that you can let go! You came to the right place to do that. You come back and find a shoulder anytime you need it.

[krissy6]

Hang in there, you have to do this on your own, we all do. I didn't tell anyone I quit again, because I have quit before and gone back, so I am on my own this time until I can successfully do it!!

[amanda-smith]

what kind of surgery? I have to have surgery on my spine eventually, but as of right now, I am too young.. I have a degenerative disk disease in my lower back and neck. I know that they will eventually ahve to go in adn either fuse my spine or replace my disks completly with artificial ones... as for my neck, well, I think the only option is ot fuse them... so, I hope your gf is doing well! my mom and aunt went through the same surgery as I will have to, and it is a long hard road to recovery. All you can do right now is stay quit, and focus all of your energy on her! it'll make it easier. She needs you to be by her side and I am sure she knows how much you love her! Stay strong, even tjough I know it's hard sometimes. And if it gets too hard, hit me up! that's what we're all here for.. support through the good, the bad, and the ugly.