'Mornin all! Jeeze I had a difficult night trying to sleep last night!! I think it was that nicoJERK trying to keep me awake to torture me for quitting... LOL! But guess what? I DID NOT SMOKE!! Yet another victory for me in staying smoke free! As I go through this process, I've come to the realization of just how much I used lighting up to deal with my feelings/EMOTIONS! NOW I'm actually allowing myself to FEEL the full realm of emotions that I've avoided for YEARS. I am choosing to WRITE in my journal quite a bit to help me process some of these old, unresolved feelings from my past that I basically BURIED in smoke and nicotine. Like... (**deep breath**) unresolved issues about divorce AND the loss of my child to a brain tumor (*deep breath*) - these are obviously HUGE life issues that I STUFFED deep down in my gut, in order to function with my basic life duties at the time. I mean, I dealt with these things, but never RESOLVED them. Thankfully, This is all has been GOOD, POSITIVE work and worth the extra time and effort. I feel like a heavy weight is slowly lifting from my shoulders and chest with each day that goes by that I am authentic, honest with myself and smoke free!!
