STRUGGLING! HELP!!!!

[Suzinut]

I was cutting down as I move toward my quit day of October 14, but now I am going back up.  I cannot see my life without cigarettes!  How disgusting is that to say!  I never realized how much I look forward to them.  I have health concerns mainly from smoking so I MUST QUIT!  I WANT TO QUIT!  Why does it have such a hold on me???  Please help me, guys, I want to be free of this disgusting habit....Please tell me your first steps!!!!  I need encouragement and motivation.....HELP!

[Maki]

You might try taking your power back . You have authority over your decisions . Don't feed addiction , starve it . I highly recommend throwing them far far away or better yet running water over them and drowning them ....you can't smoke what you don't have . You can quit , you can live a better life without them . I promise you if you have patience with yourself and say no everytime you are tempted you will overcome addiction . 

Good job posting . 

[Maki]

These are words I wrote somewhere around a year quit... what I want you to know is you aren't alone . 

Quote : 

"  My biggest fear was not failure , it was actually the fear I might actually beat this . 

I wondered if I could possibly function in my daily life without a cigarette . I thought I might lose control ....the answer is yes you can function even better without the old ball n chain . Trust me ." 

You won't lose control if you let them go ... you'll be in control . 

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to the community!

Smoking is not a habit; it is a two-part addiction to nicotine, psychological AND physical.  If you do the education, preparation, planning, take advantage of the support offered here and commit to never smoke another cigarette NO MATTER WHAT., you WILL be successful.    I didn't find this site and its powerful reading until four days after I quit, but I credit it in large measure to my success - on my very first and only attempt at it over eight years ago. Don't worry about not being able to cut back.  As long as you continue to feed the addiction, it may continue to demand its fix.  I also was not able to cut down before my quit date.  Trying to do so just kept me thinking about smoking ALL the time. I would bargain with myself:  "if I have an extra now, maybe I will just go to bed earlier," or "OK - I will cut back FURTHER tomorrow," or "I give up, I will NEVER be successful at this."  I practically chain smoked the night before my quit date - none of it made a difference in my success.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.

It will be informative if you do the tracking and separation exercises recommended here on the site. As you track each cigarette smoked, note its importance, and what you might do instead. Put each one off just a little to prove that you don't NEED a cigarette just because you think you do.
 

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[Barbscloud]

Welcome to the Ex.  Understanding that nicotine is an addiction is the first step--that's why it has such a hold on you.  It's not easy, but make the commitment to quit one day at a time and you'll be successful.   So educate yourself about nicotine addiction and create a quit plan.     These two steps made quitting possible for me. Have you considered using any aids to quit?

We're here to support you.  Take the first step and reach out anytime you need encouragement.

Barb

[maryfreecig]

So October 14 is the day you chose to quit. Got a few days until you get there. Why not spend sometime planning what you will do when you quit? Reading stories of how others quit? 

It's an addiction--which is hard for smokers to admit. Feels like a pleasure, a choice. When you say you didn't realize how much you look forward to smoking, try to accept that you look forward to nicotine. You are addicted to nicotine. Proof? Well, if you smoked a cigarette without nicotine, you would not like it. You'd think something was wrong with the taste, but it is the absence of nicotine that you are sensing. As smokers, we want to believe that we just really, really, really love smoking. 

Well, we do love smoking, because we are addicted!!!

Quitting is a one day at a time process. Again, many smokers want an instant resolution to the unpleasant feelings. But because it is and addiction, you will need to go through the work of unlearning smoking. That cannot be done all at once, just one day, one step at a time. At least one day at a time is easier to handle, then torturing yourself with thoughts of how will I stay off smoking through the week, month, year. No, keep it in today. Set your goals in the day. 

Quitting is doable by any smoker. No one is the exception. You are not broken or weird or different in feeling trapped by your smoking. Ex is here to listen, to cheer you on. Now you have a community behind you in your goal to quit.

Tomorrow I celebrate 7 years free from smoking. I didn't think I could do it in 2013--age 54. Mostly I wasn't sure I wanted to. Thank God I defied my addiction and found a way out. I can't imagine being in love with a cigarette today. Freedom will astound you, too--stick to your goal! You are on the right track.

/blogs/oldbones-larry/2020/05/08/two-sides by Larry

Getting Better  by Thomas

What is the Single Best Thing You Can Do to Quit Smoking? - YouTube 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Quitting is doable.  You have to reprogram, debunk the old stinkin thinkin that you have to have a cigarette.  It does not happen overnight. It is a process. 

quitting is a journey not an event.

 Yes, things can get tough but NOPE no matter what quitting is doable.  It is understandable if some may not connect with NOPE not one puff ever so I ask you to connect to the word DOABLE because quitting smoking is so “DOABLE”.

Instead of smoking come here first, study, learn about addicition. /blogs/JACKIE1-25-15-blog/2019/02/01/know-the-law?sr=search&searchId=d77eee84-07f5-41a4-9773-ee1a68d..., and use the quit smoking tools that work for you. /blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instead-of-smoke?sr=search&searchId=a781...  Start saying “I don’t do that anymore”.  “I am a nonsmoker.”  Believe that you can because it is doable.  One day at a time quitting is doable.  Hang tough, stay close never give in never give up. 

2078 DOF is proof that quitting is doable.  

Education is the key to a successful quit. Read the suggested materials instead of smoking. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Try this

Instead of counting and denial just say "I'm going to wait a little longer" EVERY TIME you think of smoking and watch a miracle happen.

[AnnetteMM]

By reading the Alan Carr book Nancy mentions above I learned that cutting down on nicotine does not work. It creates an increased need for the drug in your brain. Every time you feed the addiction it cries out for MORE. Only by denying your addiction of its substance will the cravings eventually die out. It takes time, it takes planning, and it's uncomfortable. But it is absolutely DOABLE.

The Law of Addiction states, "Administration of a drug to an addict will cause re-establishment of chemical dependence upon the addictive substance."

[Daniela2016]

Before my last, what I call forever quit, a little more than 4 1/2 years, I've cut back many times, and felt good about doing it, but I was in permanent withdrawal which caused me to go back to my "normal" 1 pack/day. Then one day I got sick with such bad bronchitis, I could not inhale pure air, let alone smoke.  So I stopped. I am spontaneous; did not do the gradual thing, I used patches for one week, then the e-cigarette for up to a month.  I was controlling the level on nicotine in the juice of it, planning on getting to zero, when I found this site.  All the guidance and encouragement, books and links, exercises suggested, every little piece helped.  Like Nancy said "The easy way to stop smoking" taught me a lot about the addiction, while, like you I considered this rather a nasty habit.  Finally I accepted it is a serious addictions, but that is what EX is for; to help guide you through the steps of making quitting possible for you, to help you succeed.

We all quit differently, but you'll be meeting all kind of quitters here, and you will learn from the ones who inspire you.

Welcome to the site, pick a method which resonates with you, and trust you can do it, all the EX smokers here are the proof it is possible!

[Barbscloud]

I successfully cut down for a week in addition to using Welbutrin and nicotrol inhalers.  I believe the key to cutting down is having a schedule.  I had a set number of cigarettes each day until my final day.   Data shows it does work, but only if you have to a plan and a date to quit by.

You can do it however you choose to.

Barb

[Suzinut]

I love what u wrote!  Thank you so much for sharing!  Very inspirational!

[green1611]

Welcome !

Your decision to quit is perfect decision. You may read Alan Carr book before your quit, (if you have not already read it). 

The next step is to resolve !!  Try and keep life simple without getting too much into thinking of cigarette. Keep in mind, cigarette was your friend, but now it is enemy. If you want to pursue quit, remove doubts from your mind, that can I quit ?. Believe in yourself and you can quit smoking. You can and You will..

All the Best !

2503 Days of Quit...

[Suzinut]

I have my patch ready...i quit once before with it and i am ready to do it again...i am starting TODAY because tomorrow never comes for me...always excuses!  Thanks for your support!

[Barbscloud]

Great.  Let us know how you're doing tomorrow.

You got this!

Barb

[Christine13]

You have picked a wonderful place for support with your addiction.  All the best to you.

[SMILINACCOUNTNT]

Welcome! This site has helped me so much, and you sound like you're ready to make the commitment. I too was so scared of being a non smoker, it was so much a part of me. But I came into this quit thinking differently, more like I can always go back to smoking if I want so there's no harm in trying. I'm not sure if that's the best thought process, but for me it relieved the whole pressure of quitting. I'm almost at 90 days, which is the longest quit of mine. 

[MarilynH]

How are you doing Suzinut? We're all here for you and we're rooting you on because as difficult as quitting smoking is it's also very Doable and with commitment and perseverance we know that you can and will be successful, deep breaths and know you can turn your DAY ONE on the 14th of October into DAY WON with many more to come stay close because we're all here to help you in any way we can.....

[Suzinut]

I started today!  I dont want to wait until the 14th...soo many excuses for way too long!  I want one but refuse to have it...put on my patch!  Thank you for your message!

[elvan]

I read your other blog entitled "Done" before I read this one, not sure how that happened but it sounds to me like you have started and you are committed.  Please stay close to the site, if you have to come here twenty times a day, do it, no one will question that. I came here every morning and every evening and oftentimes in between when I felt like I needed a boost.  I read blogs and paid attention to what was working for others, I paid close attention to any advice that was given to me and I put things to use that worked for me...this really is a one day at a time journey and sometimes, it is a one feeling at a time journey.

Welcome to your quit.

Ellen

[Suzinut]

Thank you sooooo very much!

[LKevinl]

I get it. I set today as my quit date but started earlier. I am still in panic mode. Nights are the worst. Wondering how am I going to get from after dinner to bedtime? Then first thing in morning.

The urge to cheat, bargain , buy has gotten overwhelming . So far I have controlled it using nicotine lozenges. Don’t really like them. They give an immediate nicotine relief . Then taste bitter so I toss unfinished one. I could only do this, 30 year smoker, I know I’m ashamed. Needed NRT help. Take Wellbutrin, wear a patch, lots of water . Make small changes. And think bigger issues: Covid. Smokers are at a higher risk of complications. Not to sound weird but I let this thought scare me and that kills a craving. I am entering my second week. True, first three days hard. First day impossible. It’s all you think about. Of course it is. It’s been with me for fun, sad, worry. Holidays, funerals, trips to the store. I don’t fight the insane cravings. I own it. Tell myself if I can go another hour. I found this site, by accident, and go to it when craving is bad. Passing time reading , absorbing, sharing; it’s better than Facebook. I’m new too. Let’s be friends.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to the community!

I don't know what you have found on your own, so I will offer my usual welcome with its usual resources.  Congratulations on getting through what we fondly call H#ll Week!   That is HUGE!  I am glad you understand the hold nicotine had on you and its 9nsidious inclusion in all aspects of your life.  That will be helpful!  Don't be ashamed of needing NRT to get free of this addiction.  Some people need it, some don't - just the way it is.

The important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This easy and entertaining read provided a world of good information about nicotine addiction, most of which I was not aware.  I credit it in large part with my success at quitting.   You can search for it online or at your local library.

 You should also read the posts here and perhaps go to the pages of folks who you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com, quitsmoking.com and livewell.com for the good information contained there. @https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/groups/best-of-ex has lots of blogs written by members of this site with their experiences and guidance. Here is a video to inform you further about nicotine addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpWMgPHn0Lo&feature=youtu.be.

I will give you my thoughts on NRTs - just FYI!   If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. If used properly, gum, lozenges and inhalers are fine, but they need to be used only as a last resort after you have tried to delay and distract.   I have seen folks become addicted to them if they substitute them for every cigarette they used to smoke - just trading one addiction for another.  You need to start out with a plan to reduce use of them over time - which the patch does by decreasing the dose contained in them..  For the gum, you can start by cutting each piece in half, then in quarters, then sub regular gum of the same flavor in between, adding more and more regular gum.  For the lozenge, you need to start subbing a mint in between to begin, increasing the number of them over time. I do not recommend the e-cigarette for obvious reasons.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand in a place different from when you smoked. Maybe switch to tea for a bit.  If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different. Buy your gas at a different station. Take a different route to work. Take a quick walk at break time where the smokers AREN'T.
 
You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Keep a cold bottle of water with you from which to sip. Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.    Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:
 https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

 Nancy

[JonesCarpeDiem]

No shame in using an NRT. 

Remember though, nicotine is what tied us to smoking and as long as we use nicotine, the nicotine receptors are going to require it.

Unlearn the hand to mouth and inhale connection for awhile  and then, you'll be able to let go of the nicotine.

Self talk is VERY POWERFUL.

Say, "I don't do that anymore" every time you think of smoking. You will be amazed what this will do. 

[Suzinut]

Thanks...yes..the hand  to mouth!!!   Ughhhh!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

That's the ritual that we have to unlearn. It's also the prominent connection to smoking. In the end, the nicotine is only 10% of quitting because once you're off the nicotine unlearning the ritual that connected all our memories to smoking is the journey. Time is the healer. New memories made without smoking disconnect us from the smoking memories. 

I used wint-o-green lifesavers and I cut straws into thirds to chew on to replace the oral part of smoking.

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Congratulations on entering your second week.  That is AWESOME.  Yes quitting is hard but oh so doable.  Keep up the good work. 

[Gai.C]

Welcome. U have to want it more than Anything You've ever wanted in your Life.  For me is was All or nothing.  I prayed asking God to take all desire away. I told Him I was weak and can't do this Alone.  I put the patch on first thing in the morning.  In the evening Prayed and Thanked Him for another smoke free day.  I never had one craving or bad day.  Im over 3 years of Smoberity.  Read everything you can get your hands on.  Take control of your life. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Replacing the dopamine release I got from smoking and getting through the first two weeks was very important to me.

[elvan]

How are you doing?

[Suzinut]

Over 30 hours smoke free!

[elvan]

CONGRATULATIONS!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

velly goot

[Taurusdagger60]

I understand the struggle fam. You are in my heart and prayers. The healing will come.

[SuzyQ411]

Thinking of you and wondering how things are going for you Suzinut‌ on this autumn Friday....

[Suzinut]

6 days no cigarettes!  It is a hard battle but worth it.  Thanks for thinking of me!

[SuzyQ411]

I am sooo happy for you Suzinut‌... you are almost done with Hell Week!!

WAY TO GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[LeftysLady]

Way to go @ Suzinut.  Congratulations on day six, may day seven feel like a touch of heaven.  I am looking forward to congratulating you every couple of days.

Pam

Day 4 of Freedom is complete.

[SuzyQ411]

Also LeftysLady‌, I look forward to continue congratulating you, as well. Here you are, with *** FOUR *** DAYS *** under your belt! WAY TO GO!!!