Rough Times at Non Smoking

[laurie-schaible]

This Tuesday it will be two months. I was sailing along pretty well there for a while, but these last few days have been really tough. I am menopausal, so that adds to the fun. The cravings have been really extremely annoying. I can still taste the damn cigarettes, and I want one. Even tho' I feel better and do not wheeze. Even tho' I have gone so long without one...even tho' I have saved over $300. I still want one. It is depresssing....I wish I never would have started smoking. Too bad there isn't a way to let teenagers know what it is like to have lived so many years addicted to something you wish you never started.

I will turn this around to something positive...but in the meantime I do not want to ever forget how the cigarettes and this addiction have made me feel. They have made me ignore myself and allowed me, actually prmoting me to not take care of myself.

I was sick a week ago, with what started as a sinus infection, a bad head cold. Now, if I was still smoking, it would have moved into bronchitis, as it always did. So, I have a lot to be thankful for. But, because I was sick, I did not go to the gym and work out, and I feel terrible, not to mention all the crap food I have been eating to battle the monkey, and now I am at least 10 lbs heavier. The monkey has been taunting me to just have one, I can lose the weight if I just have one. I was always being nagged by cigarettes anyway, so why not just start up again.

Well - let me tell you - I am never going through this again. The damn monkey can get lost. I will start going to the gym again, or even just walking the dog again on a regular basis. I will prevail. I will not let this addiciton win.

Yes - I could have one again - but it would not stop there and I know it. One is too many, 100 never enough. I refuse to give in. I will not have that oxygen tank as a wardrobe accessory. I will get control over my eating, and stop replacing cigarettes with food - obesity being another way to kill myself slowly.

I will get out and enjoy the day. I will read whyquit.com and other websites. And, I will come here more often again for the tremendous support. Thank you all!!!!!

[sally3]

2 months! Wow! congratulations! If you quit smoking you can do anything! Look at the willpower that took! You can next work on the weight. We can't do it all at once. I have started taking my dog walking 3 times a day now. She just loves it and it makes me healthier!

congrats!

[jennie3]

You are doing great we all have up's and downs,I find myself singing the "blues" quite often.Then I try and remind myself how much I've accomplished that usually helps.

[anna12]

What an inspiration to read your blog! You wrote exactly how I've been feeling for the past couple days myself! Cept I didn't call mine a monkey! LOL I'm glad you are staying positive through the "blue" zone! I have the blues quite often and now that I'm not smoking calling the monkey is frequent lately. We HAVE to stay POSITIVE in this battle of our lives. I too feel so much better than I've felt in years! Thanks again for your blog! It truly made my day!

XOXO =0)

[bryan5]

"Too bad there isn't a way to let teenagers know what it is like to have lived so many years addicted to something you wish you never started."

LOL they would do it anyway, I remember very vivdly my father telling me , he would rather i smoke Pot than cigarettes.....lol That's when I was 15. now 27 years later I wish I had listened to him.

HI Laurie, Its hard girl I know, I was just telling my wife yesterday that even after 34 days I still had times when I wanted a smoke soooooooo bad. my wife works with a man that quit smoking 20 years ago and says he still to this day wants to smoke at times. Hang tough Laurie We can do this, We are doing this.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Two Months Is Great.

Go two more and you should be over them.


dale

[laurie-schaible]

Thank you all so much! I am on my way out the door...ignoring that monkey as I go. WOOHOO!!!!!

[jan__tx]

great blog - very helpful:) and said it all:)

[Sandra3]

Two months is so good! I am with you on all of the aspects you mentioned in your blog, menopause, weight gain, the whole ball of wax! I am hoping as I get further along in this quit I can do soemthing about the weight. The weight has been creeping on since I was mid 40's and won't budge now that the hormones are wacky!! I keep thinking why am I trying to do everything at one time?? But I know it's the addiction talking to me telling me I am so stupid to even try to get healthy at this point!
Good Luck!

[jan9]

WOOHOO 2 months for you!!! That's fantastic.

[a.d.]

I like how you've turned the struggle into a reminder of how we don't need to do that to ourselves anymore.
I am not near menopause, but I know when I had PMS this last time I was completely nuts!
Glad you're not really sick with bronchitis and I'll see you around, fellow EX

[terry12]

I've felt the same way as you describe in this blog. Right now, I am feeling quite good, and strong, and resolute. But I know that that can change in a blink. So I keep reminding myself many of the things that you mentioned here. Tomorrow I will have 30 days in. That is the most I have gone without a cigarette for many years. And I keep on the positive side by gratitude for that, for breathing easier, for doing what I should be doing. Thanks for your help and encouragement.

P.S. I can't do much commenting now because of a computer virus. Every few keystrokes flips it out. Anyway, congratulations for hanging in there. You can do it. We all can with this mutual support.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Good Realizations and reasons not to start back Laurie.