Romanticizing... NEF. Uh oh.

[freedom-38]

Im doing it already.. romanticizing. Why? I hated it. But my brain is going back to all these times when it was fun. Or times when I thought it was fun.

I had this thing just before I quit that when I woke up I would be excited to get the coffee on knowing that I could smoke. I NEVER delayed it.

OK.. the reality... that is TRUE. However, when I finished the smoke I felt like crap. I also wished that I could just be "normal" and enjoy my coffee without this dirty crutch. Then I would light another, and another.

Then I would put coffee in my to go mug and drive off and light another and another and another. Trying to shove it all down. The sadness, insanity and hateful feelings. Mostly the insanity of it all.

Now... I get up and enjoy my coffee (sometimes with a cookie), then I have a smoothie and some green juice. 

I brush my teeth and marvel at the fact that my teeth are actually looking whiter after 16 days. I also marvel at the fact that FINALLY my skin is starting to look nice and fresh again.

And of course, I thank myself. There might also be a bit of a smile there too.

Then I drive off with no to go coffee. I am more focused and less stressed when I am driving now.

But Im still romanticizing and it feels scary.

[jojo_2-24-11]

It' s good that you are recognizing this, now you have to tell yourself that you don't do that anymore and move on to something else unrelated to smoking. This is how we build our new life of non-smoking memories.

[Brenda_M]

I know. I do it a little, too. I also am afraid that I'll do it too much and forget that I can't have one...but maybe knowing this, we can get past it.

[freedom-38]

Argh!!!

It's a hard night tonight. Man, "that just one" thought. Fricker FRACKER!! 

Im ordering pizza. 

We'll get past it.

[owlfeather]

You are romanticizing because your mind is telling you that you want those endorphins back, the "fix".  Understand that you are still an addict, always will be, and these "fantasies" will always be a part of your life, but will diminish, will come less and less often.  When you are far enough out of this addiction, as Dale puts it, when you have "distanced" yourself from it for a long period of time, about 4 months or so, you will recognize, understand what is going on, and will move on.  The "fix" only last for a second or so,,if you act on it,  then you are back at square one, hooked again, starting alllllllllllllll over.  If you don't act on it, you are flying free.  FREE.  Think about those times when you were smoking and hated it , hated yourself for doing it.  What a horrific addiction.  Recognize, move on to bigger and better you.......^__^.  At this time I would suggest going over to whyquit.com, and educating yourself on the romanticizing ...if you know what and why it is happening, you can understand better, and keep that beautiful quit!  

[owlfeather]

Oh yeah!  Also understand you are experiencing a "first".  First Thanksgiving without addiction.  You will have a lot of "firsts" in your first year.  It is smoking memories.  Make new memories.  Starting.....now.  Seasons, Holidays, all new wonderful, addiction free memories.   Starting....now........ 

[freedom-38]

I am Canadian and already had my Thanksgiving in October.

So... I will blame you guys!! LOL!!!

Thanks for the previous post. VERY helpful. 

[freedom-38]

You know what's weird? 

When a very strong craving passes, I get light headed. 

Anyone else get this???

[lois13]

wow 16 days is great, so hang in there you are doing good

[zinamarie]

Hi Freedom 38.  It sounds like you are doing a good job.  It makes sense that you might get light headed after a strong craving..the build up and the let down.  The mind affects the body as we well know.  Stay close to this site and you will beat this.  Protect Your Quit.

[smurfet]

This may sound stupid and I know you cant do this just anywhere, but I had the same thing happen tonight. I decided to get active, move and I started jumping jacks as fast as I could and that sped my heart up got blood flowing and well it made it go away!!!!! Exercising releases endorphins and you will get that same feeling. I was reading today that possibly drinking ice water through a straw will make your brain release endorphins as well! I hadnt tried it.

[owlfeather]

K.  Here's a weird one.  When I jump on my mini trampoline, and get off, I feel like I am really, really, really short.  How weird is that?  Hey? 

[freedom-38]

That doesn't sound stupid at all! I like it. 

Do you think I would look crazy if I just busted out jumping jacks in the middle of the grocery store? LOL.

Thanks for the tips! 🙂

[freedom-38]

Owlfeather, I know that feeling!! It is weird. What the??

[owlfeather]

Just do it, then get back here and tell us about it!  LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

[freedom-38]

AH hahahah!!! 
 

[Jordan-11-1-12]

I"d like to hear how the jumping jacks in the grocery store go, too!!  

I still romanticize, too, and I need to read up on it on whyquit.com as Owl suggested.  I read it a while back, when I was getting ready to quit, but repetition is one of the keys to success for me. I mean, the media and life experience was repeated over and over in order to brainwash me about the "pleasures" of smoking, so its only logical that I'd need more than a read through to get retrain my brain.

Its odd that I can KNOW smoking does no good for anything, and that it was NOT fun..... the "fun" was relief from withdrawal, I get that, but my "memories" are definitely clouded. Making new ones takes time so, while I'm doing that (and educating) all I can do it laugh out loud and then shove the thoughts out and distract. I can't let myself romanticize for more then a couple seconds or i'll be in trouble.

Freeom, you are doing such a good job! You have such a great start on a stong quit!! Good for you, for coming and blogging about this. And thanks for it.   Hope you had a great day!!!

[freedom-38]

You are right, Jordan.. the "fun" was the relief from withdrawl. Thanks for THAT. Thats good to remember. 

Allen Carrs book came in the mail the other day, so I have been reading that.

I'll keep you posted on the exercise routine. LOL.

I hope you had a great day too!!

[B-La]

Thank You so much! Apparently this is what I needed ToDay.