Day 8 since I quit, but relapsed and had 2 on Saturday night (which was day 6). It had been going pretty smoothly and then ALL DAY Saturday I was OBSESSING about smoking. I even tried sucking on a nic lozenge, which took the edge off in the moment but my thoughts just kept returning to smoking.
So, I smoked 2 and then walked away. Access was easy as my husband smokes. Felt like crap of course. Started spiraling into self-loathing. Decided I had to let that go and just pick up and start again.
I'm back on since then. I knwo I have to go NOPE as I could feel how quickly/easily it would all spiral back to full-time smoking.
I truly am grateful for my life/time/self-respect that has returned with the not-smoking. Just need to hold on to that.
In other good news/self-care, I have worked out every day since I quit. Also drinking lots of green smoothies/juices. Want to feel as good physically and emotionally as I can to remind myself how much better everything is when I'm not smoking.
Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. Most of my friends/family don't even know I smoke so I don't have anywhere to share what I'm doing/experiencing. It helps tremendously.
