Relapse

[stAn3]

I haven't been on here because my computer broke. I used that as an excuse not to check in. I decided to quit the nicotine replacement early and within four days I was smoking again.

Today is my quit day. I am back on the lozenges. This is the pattern I've followed since I began smoking again about two years ago.

I keep ignoring my addiction, not wanting to accept it or deal with it. I stay smoke free as long as I don't have to go through withdrawal or feel any nasty emotions.

I'm grateful to be smoke-free. It's been a process deciding to come back to the website. I'm embarrassed about relapsing. So I tried doing it ok my own for a few days. Also it has taken a few days for me to become willing to stop smoking. 

[elvan]

Glad that you are back and that you realize that this works a lot better with support.  Figure out exactly what went wrong and don't allow it to happen again.  You can do this and you really will be astounded at how much easier it gets as time passes.

[Mandolinrain]

There are plenty of us in here who have many failed attempts at quitting....I was one of them.

Learning WHY I LOVED the smokes was my breaking point to stop going around the same old mountain over and over again with my quit.

Once you resolve to truly educate yourself on the addiction, you will have a much easier transition to being a non smoker. Once you see how the nicotine is controlling you and you really get that through your head...I think you will decide YOU WILL WANT to be in control and not the ciggs.

That was such a major turning point for me.

Things happen and always will that can make a day turn really crappy fast. Now I deal with it. The smoking never helped anything. As non smokers we live each day taking the good and the bad on OUR terms, not the smokes terms.

Good luck, be strong, your worth it

[Stopforgood]

Dial down the relapse embarrassment, disappointment, and self doubt, most of us have experienced it at one time or another in this difficult process.   Build your confidence to quit through education and support here on EX.  Quitting is certainly doable. You can do this!  The key is education and determination and a specific self-promise to quit and stay quit.  You have relapsed, you have not failed until you stop trying, so get back on track and make this your final and forever quit.  This is for your health, life, family, and loved ones.   NOPE!

[kristen-9-7-15]

No need to be embarrassed!!  Not at all!!  We have all been there. Just try and try again until you get it. 

[JACKIE1-25-15]

Pardon me for being real but how do you quit smoking if you are ignoring the addiction, not willing to accept it?  How do you get smoke free and not go through withdrawal or feel any nasty emotions?  Or maybe I am misunderstanding what you are saying.  Congratulations on the beginning of day 1.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Just a couple of questions?

Did you run out of the lozenges?

If not, why didn't you use them instead of smoke?

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome back!

Congratulations on Day One!  This takes some effort in the early days, but it becomes easier and easier to do.  Why did you go off the NRT's early?  Not sure that is a wise decision for you.  If you are going to use the lozenges, they should be your last resort.  A crave won't kill you - just surf over it, or visualize stomping on it, or take slow, deep breaths.  They usually only last three minutes or so.  Or - instead of popping in a lozenge every time, get busy instead.  Go for a walk, use a sugar free breath mint, march in place, sing out loud to your favorite music. 

Have you done the recommended reading?  Here is a free PDF of the Allen Carr book that has helped many:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result - Albert Einstein

Change it up this time!

Nancy

[TerrieQuit]

I am so glad you are back! I know that's hard, keep moving forward! I ditto what Stopforgood said! You can do this! 

[crazymama_Lori]

NRTs are only a tool.  there is nothing on this earth will take away the withdrawal and the nasty emotions.  But I'll be the first to tell you that they don't stay with you for the rest of your life.  The physical withdrawal stays with you for a month and the nasty emotional garbage sticks around for another 5 months or so.   Weigh your options.  You've smoked for how many years.  What's 6 to 7 months of dealing with the hard stuff?  You won't be that way forever.  You do level off around that time and you'll learn quite a bit about yourself in the meantime.  If you can't have the mindset of you can never have another puff for the rest of your life, then have the mindset of simply I'm not smoking today.  If we weren't addicted or hooked on nicotine, then we can quit any time we want to and never go back.  But the reality is we're hooked, if we allow it to, we can easily go back to what we were smoking in no time.  I've been a nonsmoker for over a year now.  Do I think about a cigarette once in a while?  Sure, I do.  Do I run out and buy a pack?  Heck no.  Why?  Because I'm not looking forward to going through it all over again.  Life is a piece of cake now.  It doesn't consume my ever waking moment anymore.  The thought just floats in once in a while if I'm stressed or just completed a very hard task, but it goes away just as fast as it arrived.  I know you want it to be like that for yourself and it can be, but only if you allow yourself to commit to the task at hand.  You know what to do.  You were hanging around here back in March/April.  you know the drill.  You have it in you. Just believe in yourself.  You can do this !!!!

[JonesCarpeDiem]

You are putting the blame on stopping your NRT for causing you to go back to smoking 4 days later?

You must have believed those lozenges were all that was keeping you quit if you chose to smoke.

So if you believed in them that much, why didn't you restart them?

[stAn3]

I had some but wanted to be off of the nicotine.

mistakes: 1) overconfident (not need to stay vigilant and check-in; work my own program instead of following directions)

                2) distracted- push smoking recovery to the back of my mind because worried about other things, just ignore thoughts (willpower)

Realizations: I have not truly accepted the fact that I have to go through withdrawal in order to recover and the fact that I have to put continued effort into my recovery after the initial transition to not smoking. I need to do something different this time when coming off of the nicotine replacement.

[stAn3]

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, I have done the reading and, today, I am using the coping skills I have learned here. My problem is stopping using the coping skills once I have a few weeks or months of freedom.

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I don't know how far back you want to go? Do you intend to start over from the beginning at a full course of the NRT's or pick up where you left off with them? You said you smoked after 4 days but you did'nt say how long you smoked?  A week? A month? A Year?

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'd like you to read something I wrote a few days ago about NRT's

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/6375-my-opinion-suggestion-for-using-nrts 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

Not to tell you what to do, perhaps to point you to the logic of what they do and don't do