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Share your quitting journey

Reflections of a recovered addict

Chuck-2-20-2011
7 10 139

Good day everyone! Just stopping in to let you know that I’m really busy once again. My son purchased a modular home to move into, and when I went by to see how things were going, I discovered that the drywall work was being done by people who have no business doing drywall patches.

So, needless to say they’re gone now and I’m finishing it for free. Sad that he still has to pay them guys. I told him to chalk it up as a learning experience and be happy it won’t cose him anymore to correct.

When I started on this job, I thought back to my smoking days for some reason. The first thing I noticed was how much time I now save. In the old days, I’d have a cigarette hanging out of my mouth as I unloaded onto the porch. Then I’d put it out and pull everything inside (we’ve never smoked in the houses). Then I would have to step out for another cigarette.

After that, I’d usually work for about an hour before my addition demanded attention. Out I would go again, a slave to my own addicted mind. I realized that with all of the times I’d slipped out to feed my addiction, that I lost well over an hour for that day.

Just think of how much time we waste every day that we smoke! And as for the so called relaxation that smoking supposedly brings, I discovered that I’m much calmer now that I’m free of the old ball and chain.

Something else I noticed is that I don’t get winded as easily, even though I have a mild case of COPD. Also, I’m much more aware of the task at hand. It’s amazing how much an addiction can distract us, as we plan the next feeding session for our addicted minds, never realizing that the thought of the next cigarette is always in the back of the mind.

And the feeling of overall well being is just an amazing feeling to have all of the time.

So the next time you think that nothing good is happening when you quit smoking, take a moment to see how much more time you have. Sure, we’re never calm at first but the important thing when quitting is to focus on all of the positive things that your doing, rather than focusing on what we perceive as a loss.

If we can keep our minds focused on the good that’s happening with every moment of our quits, then it becomes harder for the addiction to sway us. Even as we live through the endless argument that the mind creates, we can focus on the positive side of that argument and eventually the part of our minds that wants to quit will come to the forefront.

After the first few days, the war is no longer with the physical aspect of a quit. After a few days, the war is fought inside of our own minds. We have to one by one tear the tentacles of addiction from ourselves, casting them away in anticipation of a brighter future. We have to give strength to the part of our minds that knows what is right, and find ways to ignore the addict within that we all must face.

The main thing to remember is that it gets easier every day, even if it’s hard to notice at first, but over time and with a little commitment, the addicted part of our minds are overwhelmed by the part of our minds that knows what’s right.

And it never comes like a thunderclap but one day you wake up and realize that you’re free! That all of the anguish is now in the past. Nothing but a memory of a time in our past that seemed hard at the time, but became the blooming flower of a successful quit.

Believe in yourself and one day you’ll be free. One day you’ll be at peace. One day you’ll look back and realize that if you hadn’t put out that last cigarette. If you hadn’t stayed on the path to freedom, then you wouldn’t be experiencing the wonders of freedom now. I look forward to hearing of your own freedom, because what I’m feeling right now, as a recovered addict is nothing short of amazing, and I love it every time another finds the peace that awaits them!

ONWARD TO FREEDOM!!!

Chuck

10 Comments
lisama
Member

What you have written is so true, thank you for reminding me. I quit for 18 months once cold turkey and made a silly mistake of thinking I could have just a couple when I was going through a stressful time. 7 years later and I never managed to quit cold turkey again. I'm now on day 4 of champix and finding that cigarettes are not doing anything for me and feel a bit like I've given up even though I'm still smoking! Not feeling great at all but your post has prompted me to keep trying because I remember too being happy nicotine free and know I need to go through a bit of a hard time to be eventually free again. 

JACKIE1-25-15
Member

Reading you blog made me think of how smoking always put me in a hurry.  I would have to Rush to get a smoke, rush while smoking, rush to get back from smoking.  Life is so much calmer now.  It is amazing how we thought smoking calmed us. 

elvan
Member

Wish I had you around to help when our house was being put together...there are a number of gaps that even I know should not be there, areas that I do not think were finished appropriately.  I doubt if any of those workers here had ANY experience.  

I don't consider myself to be a "recovered" addict, I will always consider myself to be "recovering"...I don't think that this journey ends because if we smoke just one cigarette...we would be back to square one.  Maybe I will feel differently when I have as much time in as you do, in the meantime, I am still taking this one day at a time.

Ellen

YoungAtHeart
Member

You write so eloquently and make such good points when you do!

Don't be a stranger, Chuck!

Nancy

JonesCarpeDiem

Time is the healer

indingrl
Member

Thanks for sharing Chuck and CONGRATS STAYING QUIT NO MATTER WHAT FOR CHUCK! Yahoooooooo for you! I too am so grateful I dont USE NICOTINE TO COPE or smoke at people because of people because of life because I NEED a break because I gotta go potty because I NEED a pot of coffee because I just ate a pound of m&ms I NEED a smoke because its raining snowing HOT or sun shinning because BECAUSE I am addicted to nicotine I USED 50 smokes a day to complete MY bible reading and studying!!! That was ME 7 YEARS ago and ONLY by MY Daddy Gods grace I aint USING MY DRUG OF CHOICE NICOTINE because of anything and I do not OBESSE any more MY NEW MIND SET is on MY Lord Jesus and he doesn't USE DRUGS and neither do I in MY Lord Jesus name amen please take what HELPS and let go of the rest to be HELPFUL is MY only aim thank you...TADAH WE will STAY QUIT TOGETHER ONE DAY one hour one minute in gratitude and love to help the next suffering nicotine addict to hope IF WE can THEY can and WE WILL ALL STAY QUIT TOGETHER REMEMBERING NEVER TAKE THE FIRST PUFF EVER....NOT ONE PUFF OVER ME...great RECOVERING BLOG thanks again I appreciate you HELPING ME to make MY gratitude list thanking God FIRST and then you and ALL MY NEW RECOVERING FROM NICOTINE FAMILY!  Keep on keeping on

Strudel
Member

Hi Chuck - great to see you! Thanks for the blog!

Giulia
Member
And it never comes like a thunderclap but one day you wake up and realize that you’re free! That all of the anguish is now in the past. Nothing but a memory of a time in our past that seemed hard at the time, but became the blooming flower of a successful quit.

That about says it all.  It's so wonderful to not have to constantly be thinking "I should quit."  The freedom from that nagging, pestering, thought, the freedom from the fear of the doctor's words that you never want to hear and realizing it's too late.  The freedom from the want, that horrible desperate need for cigarette.  It's a deep joy - that freedom.  I too love it every time someone finds that "peace that awaits them."

Sootie
Member

I had a situation last night that reminded me of how much we think we "need" a smoke and how much we REALLY don't!

Awakened at 1:30AM by a call from the police. Vandals threw a rock through a window in one of my day care centers. Had to wake up-----talk to police---find an emergency repair 24 hour service to close up the window until glass could be replaced-----had to drive to the center (30 minutes away)-----clean up glass COMPLETELY (small children will be inside).

Before I quit smoking, a situation like this would have had me smoking a pack of cigarettes and feeling hideous the next morning.

Before I quit smoking, I would have thought I could NEVER DEAL with a situation like this without cigarettes.

But I did and all of you can and will also if you simply....................................

STAY STRONG

Mandolinrain
Member

Amazing blog Chuck, I have missed your blogs. So much insight. So much patience and a good quality quit you have that I so admire.