This is my quit story that I had posted as a comment on my last blog. I wanted to give it it's own proper blog so that people would be able to read it. Here it is (again for some of you!)
About 2 weeks ago I started having severe panic attacks. I have panic disorder, so panic attacks are something that I have learned to deal with on a daily basis; these ones however were much worse. My usual anxieties about my heart health seemed magnified for some reason. A few days later, I started to feel a sharp pain in my lungs whenever I'd cough. With my panic disorder, and my tendandcy to assume the absolute worse when it comes to my health, I was worried that I had finally gotten the big C.
I still wasn't ready to quit yet, even with my brain telling me that something was seriously wrong. After all, my brain tends to exaggerate everything that my body does, such is the curse of panic disorder. It took a week of coughing and lung pain before I was ready to call it quits.
Now, if I had gone to the doctor right away, he would have told me that I had a mild case of bronchitis and that my lung pain was normal, especially since I was a smoker. I probably would have kept on smoking even. But I remember one night, when my panic attacks were at an all time high, I had never felt so much fear in my life. At that moment I just started crying. Not a big emotional weeping kind of cry, but just emotional release.
I realized at that moment that the only reason my brain was able to scare me so much, was because of how unhealthy I had become. These fears that I was having were because I knew that if I kept smoking, I would die from it. No amount of rationalization, or denial would ever change that.
That was when i was able to quit. I had finally come to grips with my own mortality, and realized that I did not want to die a smoker. No matter how much quitting sucks; all the headaches, coughing up phlegm, crankiness, it is worth it!! Every day that I wake up, I know that quitting was the right choice. I am prouder of myself than I have ever been in my life, and no craving will ever take that away from me.
So to answer your question readers; Quitting has been easy for me, because the alternative is unaccaptable in my mind. My subconcious, my soul, whatever you want to call it had had enough. I'm sorry to say that I have no tricks or tips other than to find that one reason and hold it as close to your heart as you can; motivation is 90% of the battle.
Best of luck, you are all in my prayers and my heart.
