Ramles of an addict

[gemny]

I am sitting here with my body going wild with electrical pulses, it is wondering what the heck is going on, thinking on my past.

I find when you quit an addiction it is sort of like what they say when your life is threatened with death, your whole life flashes before your eyes. (at least for me)

I am remembering the last time I got high and how easy it was to walk away from what I thought was a salvation, same when I took my last drink.

All those addictions were easy to walk away from, I went through the withdrawals like it was a bad bout of the flu and have not looked back, but then again they were not my drug of choice. cigarettes though...it strikes fear in my heart and brain and paralyzes me with fear to think of a life without them. Without the rituals, without the burn.

I try very hard to only focus on the one minute at a time....but dang it is hard when you are awake at 1 in the morning with your skin crawling....I stare holes into Puppy's picture, trying to change my brain neurons to only think of him...to change the daydreams to what him and I will accomplish before I go to the Summerland,

I ate my weight in Twizzlers yesterday..that can not continue...I don't need to stick to my quit only to develop diabetes.

Ok going to walk or pace or something..thanks for the listen

[MarcieWhosoever]

i wrote on your message board! Please hang in there, this will not continue much longer. You CAN do this! Have you read allen carrs book? i will give the link if you need it.

[cyn9]

Read Alklen Carrs book and then read all you can about smoking cessation. I used to look up videos of people dying of cancer and emphasema. I don't want to dye that way and I don't want my son seeing me dye that way. It would shock me into not lighting up.  Because if you don't stop, it will happen. Ask some on here.....

[gemny]

Please if you do not mind I would like the link :)....off to find the message board LOL

[vickys79]

Do whatever it takes to get through this without a cigarette. I slept a lot at first. It was easier not to smoke when I was sleeping.

[smp101]

The addiction wants to survive and its living in our blood. The first week for me was like some horror movie where the tiny little creatures were in the cells of my blood stream screaming to survive and tormenting me through my veins. But their screams do die down.

Don't get me started on twizlers. do you know that if you eat a lot ( and I mean a lot) of black licorce- it turns your poop green.

On that happy note hopefully we all have a happy smoke free day.

[Strudel]

Ah yes....your blog reminded me of those early days and that FEAR!! But - trust me on this - you will be so happy you continued on and rid yourself of this addiction!!

To change the way you think about smoking - to realize that you CAN get past that fear - that you don't need or want a cigarette - please take the course at http://quitsmokingonline.com/ and if you haven't read Allen Carr's book - http://joga.365.lt/Allen-Carr_Easy-Way-To-Stop-Smoking_Download-free-PDF-EBook - check it out. It can be read even after you start your quit - you will still get the message!! (Just ignore the part that says to keep smoking until you finish. I went back and reread parts of it during the early part of my quit - very helpful!) Please - read!!!

[MarcieWhosoever]

ahh there it is... strudel gave it to you. along with another helpful link. These have halped so many here. It will help change your mind frame and help you to realize you are not giving up anything! You can do it! we will help you 🙂 Its not always easy, but it doesnt have to be horrible ok? your message board is on your page. go to "my page" (blue tab above)

To reply to someone, click on their pic and it will take you to their page 🙂

Hang in there!

Marcie 171 days 🙂

[ash19]

Hang in Gem, it does pass and gets much easier.  A day at a time.  My new mantra is " attach the day".  Just keep coming onto this site it really helps when your in that state of mind.  Stay strong, you can do it and please please belive me it will pass.  Positive mental attitude is the only way.  You need to retrain your brain into thinking you do not want cigarettes anymore, eventually it will listen. 

I do the same, have pictures of my kids with me, they keep my mind focused.

Lots of good wishes going you way.

Ash 37 days

NOPE

[ash19]

PS you picture is adorable, I assume that is your son, what a cutie.  Do it for him, thats what keeps me focused, my two boys.

[gemny]

Well I went into the public studio today where I have interened...and did hard manual labor for 6 hours....by the end I was too tired to worry about a smoke LOL.

Thank each and every one of you for your support.

Ash thank you that is my Puppy..my year old grandson and I am doing it for him as well as me...I have big plans for his life LOL and all the things I am going to teach him.