I quit for eight years once. Eight years! I was living in Texas at the time, then moved to Portugal, but it wasn't until I was living in the Netherlands and going through bitter separation (ultimately ending in divorce) that I started again. It really only takes one to get you back in motion. Naturally I thought I could control it, as many of us do, but it got a hold of me and I cursed myself (still to this day).
It is time to quit again, but I fear the challenges I must face with quitting. Don't most of us?
On the other hand, the reasons are easy:
First, I'm quitting for myself. The first time I quit I had taken up running and found that that was the only place I could truly connect with myself. I would get lost in my mind and the cobwebs would clear and I could face my problems with clarity. I've started running again and welcome the old friend back...but the smoking has got to go! I'm also a weekend warrior with a band. I sing lead vocals and although cutting down on caffiene and alcohol (most of the time because I like coffee and I like beer) help my voice, smoking dries it out and I've had many occaisions where I wasn't sure I'd make it through a four-hour show. Again, the smoking has got to go.
Second, I'm quitting for my children. I live in Alabama now, and consider myself fortunate that my daughter and son (14 and 11) chose to live with me instead of their mother (who now lives in England). Although they both hate my smoking, and urge me constantly to quit (and support me when I make an effort--however slight), it stands always in the back of my mind that my smoking may eventually send a message to them that it's okay. And when they are offered the opportunity to start, a voice somewhere might say 'dad smokes, why not give it a try?'
Last, I'm quitting because it just makes absolutely no sense for me to pay money to make myself feel like crap most of the time, and which may ultimately lead to a premature death.
Oh, and I've set my quit date: September 1st.
