Well I made it through day five and it was a bit easier. I only hope this day six is easier still. Yesterday I figured out exactly what it is I feel I am forgetting most of the time. I look up at any given moment of the day and ask myself, "What in the world?" Well yesterday it hit me, "Oh yeah. A week ago I would have gone outside to smoke. Now I've quit."
Actually that feels good. I just have to remind myself to go outside for a better reason. To pat myself on the back. Of course I haven't thrown my shoulder out of socket yet, but I'm getting there.
Another thing I realized yesterday. Since I've quit smoking I am hyper as hell. I bounce off the walls. If anyone happens by the cabin and peeps into the windows they will most likely assume I am crazy. When the urge to smoke hits me, I get up and move. Sometimes I dance, sometimes I do a few exercise moves and sometimes I just bounce around and pace the floors.
It works so there. To all the peeping toms I've scared away, just remember, before I quit smoking I would have shot at you. Now, I just entertain you. And, oh yes, I am extremely crazy. Let me take away your crutch and you would be too. Damn, what am I saying. I'm suggesting a peeping tom isn't already crazy. Well, on the bright side, it's one heck of a hike to get to the cabin and if I'm lucky all the peepers in the area are smokers. Ha, ha, ha. I'm here to tell you, you're not getting up this hill very easily.
I am very, very proud of myself. Since the first of the year I have made so many positive changes in my life. Giving up cigarettes is one of the best.
It actually hit me back in the fall when I was dealing with yet another P&L statement. I decided then that changes would definitely have to be made. Well, it's looking up and now I do NOT have to deal with P&L statements, I don't have to worry about deadlines (except my own) and there is nothing to drive me absolutely crazy except myself.
And strangely enough, I have actually decided it's time to maybe consider dating again. Now that's a whole other funny story. Just to give you some idea, it's been 20 years since I dated anyone and eight years since my ex went out for cigars and never came home. Goodness, what happens to the brain when it begins to get smoke free oxygen. But one thing's for sure, despite being deserted every now and then, my old trusty black lab is and will always be my best friend. Becoming smoke free just sets me totally free.
And as a friend pointed out to me yesterday, I've been a little crazy all my lif; now I'm just crazy and smoke free and ready to tackle the world. Guess I am as strong as all my friends and family say I am. We'll see.
Ask me about it on Day 14. That is if you can catch me between paces and bounces.
Thank you all for the support. Now. One of you long-time ex-smokers out there tell me it gets easier after the first month and even easier after the first year and that I will totally forget about them after 18 months. I really want you to tell me that will happen after the first month, but if I'm nothing else I am a realist.
