Good evening my fellow EX's-
Well, today I got the guts to finally admit to my Doctor I have been having chest pains for quite sometime now. I never said anything before, because I knew it had to be from smoking. I did not want to face it. Matter of fact, I thought I never would. I was positive I would ignore it, and it would get better. Although I knew better, I really did not want to deal with it. That is how addicted I was to smoking.
So today I had my chest x-ray today. As I entered the x-ray room and stood up against the metal plate, I was told to breathe in deeply and hold it. This was hard, and painful in my lower back. When I exhaled, I was relieved to be breathing again. I had to this one final time, and it was very uncomfortable once again. The I was done, in a matter of 5 minutes. That's all it took. Just 5 minutes of my life.
After I left still with some mild chest pain, it sunk in to me. I am afraid to know what the results are. But I know I must face this no matter what, and I will. I will no let this break me, other than make me stronger and be thankful I am addressing the issue at hand with a clear mind, un-polluted.
I had a great day with my hubby (I am working on him to quit smoking too). I know I must be done with smoking, because he smokes and it really does not bother me no more. The first 2 weeks it did. But now it does not affect me at all. I even stood outside with him while he smoked after we had an early meal at the restaurant before we went to the movies. And I was fine!!
Also, for those who says drinking is a trigger to smoke. I had the only texan style pina colada today with a double shot, and no craving too smoke! Matter of fact, I am having a home made pina colada, and still no trigger!! Do not want to get too excited about this, but I am re-learning I guess life without a cigarette.
So my fellow EX's. pray for me. I am really nervous about my chest x-rays.
God Bless...........Noodle
