At 129 days I got my haircut in a very new style. Yes Iowa has had all their beauty and barber shops open since June. It had been two months since I had last gone in, as it is always a risk you take. I absolutely loved my haircut and I remembered telling my hairdresser that I looked 10 years younger. So you can imagine my surprise when I got in my car and I’m starting to drive home, when a sudden unexpected, intense craving for a cigarette appeared in my head.
I remember feeling stunned as I had not had anything like this for over a week and when you go for that many days with zero cravings, you start to expect it to stay that way. But no it was trying to convince me to have a cigarette.
I started my breathing exercise along with pulling all the negative things about smoking back into the front of my brain and I reminded the nicotine that I had all the power and it had none. My fourth month has been so much better than my third month with only about three cravings the whole month. And nothing this intense and long! Do you think it was nicotine‘s last hurrah? Why is it that I am very doubtful.
When I got home I did what youngatheart.7.4.12 always said to do which is to try to figure out why I got that craving at that time. Well the car was a given, I did tons of smoking in my car. Then I remembered that I had felt 10 years younger with my haircut and 10 years ago I was really smoking. I would come home and always tell my husband “Do do you like my hair?”, “Do I look younger?” Women generally are quite picky about their hair although I’ve known some men that are that way too. With the Covid and the mask these days, I’m not noticing the hair as much. My eyes go to the mask first and then the eyes.
Nicotine decided to ruin my good feeling and tell me that it could HANG around me anytime it desires. So after smoking 50 years, nicotine was telling me that I will always have to nurture/protect my quit.
