thing. 151 days of not smoking and I had that crazy smoking dream last night. I was on my way to buy a pack with that thought in my head even in my dream that I would smoke just one and pitch all the rest I even told myself in my dream that I could do it now.In reality I know I can't. I wonder when will this lil butt head leave me alone to enjoy my life? Seems every time I get comfortable he tries to sneak back in my life. Some what of a stalker you know in your weak or sad moments there stands the addict tapping his foot saying "oh come on you can have just one" some times he sounds convincing --at 4 am this morning he awoke me from a deep sleep , I had to get out of bed to get rid of him. There's not a smoke withen 5 miles that I could have access of and that would require driving to purchase them and God knows I am way to awake to do that...Just saying we are never safe. The addict in us is always present maybe not visable to the naked eye but he is lurking there in the shadows waiting for us to weaken so be prepared to fight him off for the rest of your life..he doesn't show up as often as he used to but he has not given up on pulling me back to join him in the addiction again.Just saying KEEP YOU GUARD UP AND STAY ON THE RIGHT THINKING TRACK. I think I am weakened by Fathers Day coming up I really miss my Dad.He would more than likely lived a lot longer had he not smoked but we cannot dwelllon the past I try to remember the good times and be thankful that I have found a new lease on life and pray that my daughter doen't loose her mother to a horrible preventable lung or heart disease..thank you all for being around to listen to me babble..your friend Deb 151 and running from the addiction full speed ahead and I hope all of you are right behind me we can win this battle one day at a time....
