Order 47/90

[PastTense]

I spent yesterday on an emergency visit to a vendor who is having some…”difficulties”. I got in to the office at 7:15, was told I need to pay the vendor a visit at 7:35 and was out the door by 7:45.

I feel badly for the vendor. I am not a pleasant person when my routine is upset. I am an even less pleasant person when I don’t have a chance to plan for a trip. Planning gives me a sense of control over the uncontrollable. Or at least a sense that I have done what I can to know what comes next.

I like order. I like knowing where I am going to be and what kind of shoes I need to wear. I love to travel, and when I do, I make spreadsheets outlining what activities are planned, what the weather is predicted to do, what I am going to wear, and which shoes. Not even kidding about this. My husband laughs at me, but I tell him it’s all part of my charm.

Quitting smoking as a great, giant, leap into the unknown and unplanned. It is safe to say that quitting is more than just unknown – it is unknowable. At least in advance. All the planning and reading about the effects of withdrawal aren’t going to help you when you get hit with an unusual symptom. I will say from personal experience that even withdrawal symptoms you are expecting can be quite shocking in their intensity or extent. Like a headache that won’t go away or constipation. You know it can happen, but WOW – did not see that coming.

Not having control or the illusion of control over the direction and dimension of my quit has been agitating, at best. I hate being out of my comfort zone. I detest it. Even with my written quit plan and several spreadsheets to track my progress, it is completely out of my control and I have no idea when things will get better. OCD? Not clinically, but, heck yeah – and some ADHD thrown in for when I get bored! And I know many of us are dealing with some level of mental health issue that is exacerbated by quitting. Anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, at all levels of the spectrum.

We are all battling our demons along with fighting nicotine. My hat is off to every single one of you who fighting the good fight. I know that our efforts will eventually pay off.

Keep the faith

Keep the quit.

PT

[YoungAtHeart]

The moral of THIS story. though, is that your routine was disrupted, you couldn't plan for this exigency, and you managed it WITHOUT SMOKING!

Woo Hoo for YOU!!!

[Barbscloud]

I believe that's what made this quit a success for me.  We're all different, so we don't know 100% what to expect, but being aware of possible side effects (physically, psychologically, and emotionally), kept me from being blindsided.  I also like to plan things in advance.  I never did that before when I attempted to quit smoking.   I believe that also helped me with this quit.

Keep moving forward.

Barb

[kindofodd]

What's Order 47/90?

I am COMPLETELY the opposite from you. I'm so very fly by the seat of my pants. And it works for me. I like things fluid. If I don't have the right shoes I'll wear the wrong ones or have an excuse to buy a new pair  It drives my boyfriend crazy. Some derivative of the conversation "What are you gonna do if..." and "I dunno. I'll figure it out when I get there" happens a couple days a week. Planning stresses me out. By planning I give myself obligations. Something invariably happens to mess up the plan and I cannot then just adjust because THERE WAS A PLAN. If I tell you I'll be there at 1:00 I will kill myself (or get a ticket) trying to get there by 1:00 and beat myself up if I fail. "You go about your business. I'll be there somewhere between 11 and 4. I'll text you when I'm on my way" is more my style. I'm sure it sounds awful to you but I managed to raise 3 kids without killing anybody... yet. The youngest is 16 so there's still time. LOL

And here's the kicker. This quit was actually well-planned. Not 'spreadsheet to track my progress' well-planned but still way more than anything else in my life. I read everything I could read and wrote down my own list of 'what to do if's. I am well into no man's land but nowhere near out of the woods. The cravings do keep coming back. I notice the time between them getting longer and the intensity of them fading... and then out of nowhere BAM I need a cigarette RIGHT NOW. That might last all day or come back tomorrow but then it doesn't again. Referring to that original plan still works. 

Everyone is different and every quit is different. Sorry for the vendor, but way to not smoke!! Next time you have go there maybe apologize and explain? Might make you both feel better. 

I'm proud of you

[sweetplt]

Hi PastTense I liked the planning part of quitting smoking...like you I am organized...and planning this journey is what helped me...more than that was staying here and helping others...that is what is super about this journey ... we all are addicts...but we all rid our addiction differently....You go...you got through vendor emergency without the smokes...another moment you got stronger and Nico got weaker...Happy Wednesday ~ Colleen 415 DOF 

[PastTense]

I'm glad you posted, kindofodd‌, because you make a very good point.  We each have our own style and needs.  We each walk our own path with the quit.  If what you are doing is working - then keep on doing it!!!

There is more than one way to skin a cat and more than one way to rock a quit.

I'm proud of you, too!

PT

[MarilynH]

You're Rocking your precious quit journey and you are doing it one precious Smokefree Day at a time or hour minute or even a second at a time BUT you are rocking it YAY for each and every Day WON with many more to come.

[kindofodd]

You didn't explain the title of your post...??

[PastTense]

kindofodd‌, I apologize; I must have missed your question.  THere are tow parts to the title of my post.

"Order" because my blog is about how I like things in order and

47/90 because I committed to 90 posts in 90 days and this is the 47th.  I stole 90 in 90 from AA (actually from a TV show I saw about AA) that had new members and "slipped" members go to 90 meetings in 90 days. 

[kindofodd]

Gotcha! Thank you