OMG sitting here n talking to my ex ol man and started beating myself up about the weight gain.... GOD I LOOK SICK. I have gotten bigger and just feel like I a buffalo. Went from 195 to 258.. GOD and thats only in less than a month.. I need something else to do besides eat.. I love the fact that I am breathing better... As well as the fact that I feel better but now my knees are back to hurting my back is killing me I can't even o0o this is that damn Nicodemon trying to talk me back into it I tell ya.... And then I wanna do something else that I will not repeat and say here because of certain cercumstances... If ya know what I am talking about you will unerstand that I got a huge rubber band around my wrist... And will not take it off.
I am glad that I am 41 days into my quit but I thought is was sposed to get easier.. Feels like I get ill and see stuff I don't like about myself more.... I loved it when I was smaller I could wear jeans and I really don't wanna see my old friend This big.. To hell with it Ima have to get me something for appetite control now cuz this is rediculous or just something else to stick in my mouth... OMG that sounded bad lol..
Yes I am both pissed at myself and proud of myself so hell I am just one jumbled up mess.. I have been wanning one for the last couple days, ever since I got that phone call... but not gonna cuz of this
I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Week, 5 Days, 17 hours, 32 minutes and 49 seconds (40 days).
I have saved $268.00 by not smoking 814 cigarettes.
I have saved 2 Days, 19 hours and 50 minutes of my life.
My Quit Date: 2/18/2010 6:00 AM,,, And that Im not picking them up.
