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No Man's Land Weekly Blog -- The Forever Quit

SarahP
Member
0 10 37

We do this blog every Wednesday afternoon to offer encouragement and comaraderie to those in No Man's Land -- months 2-3-4 of a quit. Regardless of how long you've been quit, anyone who likes the conversation and wants to offer support is welcome to participate! 

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This week's topic: The Forever Quit

As you near the end of No Man's Land (day 130 or so), it's time to start thinking about what comes next. It's time to start making plans and commitments about your long-term quit maintenance. 

No one wakes up one morning and says "gee, I think I'll relapse today." No one in month 3 of a strong quit thinks their motivation will ever fade. But we hear from people all the time who relapsed after a year, 2 years, 5 years, or even longer. 

I believe the root of long-term relapse is forgetting two very important lessons -- first, we forget that we cannot have just one, because for addicts like us, one always leads to one more. Second, we forget that we did not enjoy smoking. We smoked to avoid the pain of not smoking. It wasn't enjoyable, it didn't taste good, and it wasn't relaxing -- those are the lies of addiction. 

We learned these lessons painfully -- with sweat and tears -- when we quit. But as time passes it becomes easier and easier to forget, to minimize, to rationalize. 

Right now you have committed to quit smoking, but have you committed to never smoke again? Two years from now when you get really bad news, or are at the beach watching the sunset and the smoker next to you says "want one?" -- what will you do? Will you remember the pain of quitting? Will you remember the lessons you learned? Will you remember how to distract/dismiss/kick it to the curb? Will NOPE (not one puff ever) and NEF (never ever forget) still be in your heart? 

Plan it, practice it, be ready for it. The lessons you are learning right now, in No Man's Land, are the lessons you need to carry with you and never take for granted. The Forever Quit is within your reach! 

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If you're in NML right now, give a shout!  Reach out and find each other!

Click here to read Dale's helpful blog about No Man's Land: 

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/jonescarp.aka.dale.Jan_2007-blog/2011/05/24/no-mans-land-da...

10 Comments
pat108
Member

I AM SHOUTING VERY LOUD!!!!! 

la2012
Member

Hey all, I am looking forward to being in NML again - I am the classic case of blowing a great quit right after getting thru NML.  Never again!!!

JonesCarpeDiem

Grandma what Big Teeth you have!

sam354
Member

AWSOME!  Great for us preppers and starter uppers... Thanks.

ryan44
Member

Great blog for someone through no mans land like me.  One reason I keep coming here is so I never ever forget. This is my forever quit.

Patty-cake
Member

I'm just gettin' round to starting in NML. Exactly 2 months quit today.

I pledge this is my forever quit. I'm holding on tight so I don't lose my way and fall in the black hole or something like that. It's a bit scary, if you ask me.

Ex_Nancy
Member

 IMHO this is the one of finest blogs you have ever written. Even tho this is a repost, not enough of our current members, or repeat members, or new members will ever see this OR remember your wise words...We can all remember NOPE and some still ignore that but what about the second reason for the root of relapsing that NOBODY seems to remember....(I'll see in blogs, "even tho I really enjoyed smoking")...WHAT?           "Second, we forget that we did not enjoy smoking. We smoked to avoid the pain of not smoking. It wasn't enjoyable, it didn't taste good, and it wasn't relaxing -- those are the lies of addiction."

With your permission, I would like to use this info in a reminder blog,of sorts (something new Im dreaming up)...Thank you Sarah...please let me know when you have time xoxo.

luliper
Member

Thank you Sarah,

I know that when I read the question do you want this to be your forever quit? I will be painfully honest when I say that I had  to really think about that. Right now I am very pumped about quitting. How am I going to feel somewhere on down the line? I can' t predict the future, none of us can. I hope that I can keep it real and fresh and remember that there is only one rule....simple enough...NOPE So many people go back out there. I really do not want to be one of them. I hope that my memory will not get so bad that I forget NOPE!!!! I am committing to a forever quit. I don't make promises lightly. It feels kinda heavy, but I will keep this fresh clean feeling and commit to my FOREVER QUIT!

julie127
Member

LOVE that picture Sarah.  This is a great blog...and Nancy - I am trying to convince myself that I DID NOT like smoking. 🙂  I am one of those who said I enjoyed it but I knew I needed to stop and made the decision and commitment to do so.  I still have re-learning to do(or is it brainwashing, haha- that was a joke folks) I guess about whether I enjoyed it or not. I'm workin' on it....

When I first started my quit  I told myself I would smoke again if at some point I found out I had a terminal illness or if I reached a ripe old age, kinda like a "reward" to myself for quitting, something in the future to look to..  Not anymore.  I am on day 108 and heading towards the end of NML, things get better everyday and the reminder that I have to practice it and apply it for the rest of my life is a good one.  Thanks Sarah.

fresh3
Member

We romanticisize the past.  Clinging to the memory of pleasure, comfort, victory while thoroughly disregarding the complete reality.

Romantic smoking is not real.

It's a state of denial, which is one form of lie.

Romanticized smoking is a lie.