Newbies, listen up!!!

[Mothergoose9]

Welcome to the forum!!!!  This is a place where we celebrate FREEDOM!!!!  We take daily train rides on the FREEDOM Train, we have BONFIRES where we gather together and burn all of our UNSMOKED cigarettes, we laugh, we play, and sometimes we even argue and fight.......but MOST OF ALL......we kick addiction butt!!!!!!!   We hope you join us in becoming free from the tyranny of addiction!!!!!  We were all meant for more than slavery.....and that includes YOU!!!!!  This addiction will try and convince you that you can't possibly live without it.........but we are proof that you only begin to REALLY live when you kick it to the curb and embrace FREEDOM from it!!!!!

You will want to learn all you can not only about nicotine addiction, but addiction in general.  There are some specifics that are inherent with addiction, regardless of the substance used.  The two that I realized, and that changed me from being a serial quitter to a firmly entrenched Ex-smoker, were 1)  As an addict, I can NEVER have 'just one' and 2) As an addict, I am prone to believing lies.  These lies disguise themselves as "reasons" I could, should, have to have 'just one' when in reality, all they are is junkie excuses to justify my next fix.  Knowing that we NEVER have to pay them any attention, let alone obey them, is knowing that we have the power over this addiction!!!!

Quitting is easy.........STAYING quit takes more intentionality.  It's something you do on purpose.....it doesn't just happen.  You choose not to use!!!  You embrace a mindset that says "Smoking is simply NOT an option!! Not for ANY reason, not under ANY circumstance!!!"  Then you don't allow yourself to think, dwell on, entertain ANY thoughts that are contrary to that decision.  When those thoughts come, and they will, you dismiss them immediately and think a different thought, either something positive about living a smoke free life, or something unrelated to smoking all together!!! 🙂 

YOU are calling the shots now!!!  You are no longer a puppet on a string, a slave to a demented, sadistic, narcissitic master!!!!  You are living FREE!!!!! 🙂

I stopped listening to lies and making excuses 2504 days and 37,560 cigarettes ago!!!  No magic moment, no special pill.....just a rock solid decision and a support group like this.  If I can do it, so can YOU!!

[froguelady]

You are amazing.  The blogs you write gives so much encourgement not only to "newbies" but to everyone.  I have been free 489 days and yes those lies pop in my head every so often but by knowing about my addiction I know they are lies. I will  and must remain vigilant the rest of my life.

Thank You Connie for giving of yourself to EX.

[luliper]

I hear ya Mother goose! I am being very intentional when I get a crave....dont' entertain it and find something better to think about! It is really great that you experts are here to help us newbies along. I am enjoying my freedom and want to keep it. I realize that i have to work for it and fight for it every dayand I am hoping that it gets easier as I go along.  Happy to be smoke free and thank you very much for your words of wisdom!

[YoungAtHeart]

Luliper,

It DOES get easier - trust me!

I think the main key to success is to be 100% committed.  Not "think you can" but "KNOW you can."  I actually had a dream the other night that someone gave me a cigarette and I lit it, and then I went, "OMG, I don't do this anymore, and immediately stubbed it out.  I think it's interesting that I was even committed in a DREAM!

I am not some kind of strong-willed person, either.  I am just like all of you - but I know I never want to put myself through this again!  I accept that I will never have even one puff off a cigartette - or it will turn into another 10,000 and I will be right back where I started, loathing myself, coughing, without smell or taste.  No way am I getting there again - NO way!

[Strudel]

Amen Connie!!

[Sootie]

Connie---good to see you again! Hope all is well---fantastic blog as always.

[pir8fan]

Tell it sister! WOOOOOO HOOOOO MotherGoose is back and tellin' it like it is! You want to stay quit? Here is what you need to know! Love it Connie! We have been missing your wisdom!

[beverly24]

thankyou, that was very helpful.  i am not quit yet, my day is 8/24..........but how do i get past that anxiety about quitting.  the funny thing is , is i hate smoking, but am afraid of quitting....does that make sense?  anyway, thankyou so much for the encouragement!!!!!

[sdbecky]

I was afraid of quitting too. But Im 2 weeks quit now and it's better than I could have expected!!

[barbara42]

you tell them Connie, that is the way we did it, by listing to the ones such as you and doing what you had to say, oh, i so remember when i first quit, if it had not been for this site and all the people on it who cared, i would not have done it, thanks so much for your wisdom. new ones can only progress with such good advice, pleae listen !

[laureng0603]

Thank you so much Connie. I have been quit for only three days now but I am confident I can quit. Your blog was empowering 😃

[amylynn1115]

Thank you for this!

[marilue]

I have not quit yet my quit date date is 8/24/2012 but I am so ready but I know I can't rush this or I will fail like so many other times. First it says on the site to track my cigerettes, and then what? Do I cut down little by little or just jump off my addiction?

Marilue

[Mothergoose9]

Well, Marilue....I can only give my opinion and sometimes it does not coincide with the plan promoted at Ex about tracking cigarettes, avoiding triggers etc.  I'm not saying that the program isn't right, but there are many different processes people use, and have used successfully, to break free from this addiction, and for me, the more time I spent "trying" to quit, would have just convinced me that it was too hard and that I couldn't do it.  If you go to my page and read my story, you will see that I finally just pitched them out the window and knew that there would never be an easier time than RIGHT NOW!

I don't think anyone ever quit and STAYED quit by cutting down and trying to wean themselves off smoking.  First stressful day, big crisis, happy celebration, and you just throw caution to the wind and smoke more.  As for triggers......EVERYTHING was a trigger.  I smoked when I was happy/sad, celebrating/mourning, hungry/full, stressed/relaxed etc., etc., etc.  My whole life revolved around getting my next fix, and any excuse would do!!

But I will say this.....no matter what method, plan, aid you use, the one thing you need irregardless is a rock solid mindset!!!  Where the mind goes, the 'man' follows!!  What you allow yourself to think, where you allow your thoughts to park go an extremely long way in determining both the SUCCESS and the EASE of your quit.  If you let yourself think about smoking, dwell on thoughts of what it would taste like, how much you want one, how 'just one' won't hurt, "should I or shouldn't I?" blah, blah, blah......you will drive yourself crazy and you will end up smoking again full time.

There are a couple of ways to get this mindset that helped me.  

1) You just refuse to listen to any thoughts at all about smoking.  When they start knocking on the door of your mind, you turn the lock key and IMMEDIATELY focus on something else.  You don't entertain them, you don't invite them in and visit with them.....you dismiss them and move on.  When is it easier to get rid of a vacuum cleaner salesman (do they still have those???), at the door when he first knocks, or after he's unpacked all his stuff in your livingroom?  Same deal.....immediate rejection!!

2) Acknowledge the crave.  Say something like "Yes, I really want a cigarette right now, BUT I want __________________ MORE!!"  Then you fill in the blank with your reason(s) for quitting.  What you put in after the "but" in a sentence is where your focus really is!!! For me, I wanted to breathe better, save money, have pink skin instead of something that looked like shrivelled up boot leather, I wanted to smell better, feel better, but most of all I wanted to be here for my nine kids and future grandkids.  I wanted to show them that THEY meant more to me than my addiction did!!  So, you fill in the blank, and then you focus on THOSE things.....the things that you are looking forward to as a non-smoker!!!  

I got all those things and more!!!  While I could envision all the outward, obvious changes that would take place, I never imagined what a difference it would make for me on the inside. I don't think I realized how profound the feelings of defeat and failure really were for me.  Addiction looms bigger and bigger and we shrivel and die, and become reduced to essentially being puppets on a string, controlled and manipulated by something that would only destroy us.  The real us gets lost and buried under a mountain of smoke and ash and that becomes all that life is really about and we, seemingly, have no power but to submit.  That we are powerless over this addiction IS A LIE!!!!  One we've all been fed, but a lie none-the-less!!!!  

What I gained by kicking this addiction, that I had never anticipated, was my DIGNITY and SELF-RESPECT!!!!  Quitting smoking is one of the most empowering things I have ever done, and it will be for you too!!!!!  There is SO much more to life!!!!  So many things that you haven't pursued that will become unlocked when you break FREE of this addiction!!!  The potentital is limitless and the future is just waiting for you to step up and embrace it!!!!  

So, my advice.....don't waste another moment!!!!!  Throw the nasty buggers away and get on with LIFE!!!!!

[maurac24]

Thank-you Connie...very very inspiring. I am only 22 days quit, but I FEEL deep in my heart I can do this. 
Maura

[mountaingirl27]

Thanks, Connie

Read through your blog and comments. I am in day two of my quit. Your words are inspiring and true. I know there is one thing I need to do: I need to list why I wanted to quit smoking! I have not done this and really need to in order to fill in that sentence after the BUT... 

About the lies, never thought too much about them but maybe because I had not honestly focused on them. Now I have opened my eyes and SEE the lies I might tell myself or the lies others have told me.

Love to have a Mom like you!! I am one of eight-Mom's a non smoker but abusive in sooo many ways. Sounds like you are a great Mom. Thanks for helping us newbies with your wisdom!

[january60]

I am ready to quit now!  And googled sites for quitting.  Came up with this one.  Should I follow its advice or Just Do It?

Only been smoking 5 years....after a bad divorce.....stress is the main issue.

[Mothergoose9]

Well, that is a tough call.  All I know is that the sooner you get rid of them, the sooner you can get on with the life you were meant to live!!! 

Check out the blog page and see what others have gone through, or are going through, on their freedom journey.  Read, read, read, and then read some more!!! 🙂  Educate yourself as much as possible on the nature of addiction in general, and this one in particular.  You will hear lots of different ideas and receive numerous opinons on methods, aids, etc.  Take what rings true for you, and make a decision and stick to it.  

This is a great bunch of people who have been where you are, and are where you say you want to be....FREE!!!

Gonna copy this to your page so you're sure to see it....

[katydid]

I'm really encouraged to find this site - my sister emailed it to me. Luckily most of the people I know do not smoke so in a sense they are a good support system. But they also have never smoked and do not know what quiting is like.

I quit over 11 years ago then started back 3 years ago convincing myself I could have 1 once in a while. Life was hard at the time so I plenty of excuses. I have tried quiting at least 15 times in the past 3 years, the longes being 2+months. I am currently smoking and I have to admit that yes I know the physical withdrawl is hard for me but the mental aspect is SO much harder. My smokes have been my best friends and I have failed so many times I lack confidence, yet I know logically I can do it. Just hearing the overall "we know it's hard - we've been there' helps a great deal.

[Mothergoose9]

Yeah, I wish I had a dollar for everytiime that 'just one' card was played....even in my own life.  I blew a 20 YEAR quit with 'just one' and four or five more after that!!!  I was a serial quitter!!!

The mental aspect is the hardest part.  Everything we did revolved around our next fix.  It factored into every decision we made pretty much.  The sense of defeat was profound and I honestly don't know if I had started again, if I would have ever quit.  I felt so defeated, like such a failure. 

The thought of facing life without our drug of choice is terrifying to an addict.  BUT it doesn't have to be as bad as we fear it will be.  It all goes back to grabbing a solid mindset, as I said above.  If other people can do real life without cigarettes, so can we (you)!!! 🙂  The addiction spews lies at the speed of light trying to convince us that it is too big and we are too weak.  But we are all living proof that you CAN quit and STAY quit!!!  It's been almost 7 years since I smoked my last cigarette.  There have been a few rough moments along the way, but honestly, as long as you take control of your thoughts and refuse to entertain them even for a second, you will beat this thing hands down!!!!! 

You are not alone.....let us know when you're ready to jump in and kick this addiction to the curb. 🙂

[oharalane]

My quit date is August 1, 2 days away.  Sometimes I feel very confident and sometimes I'm really scared I will fail again.  Doing things different this time.  Always tried on my own, this time I'm asking for any and all help I can get.  Been reading this site for 2 weeks, finnally registed today.  When I'm feeling scared I read your blog Mothergoose, thank you, thank you, thank you.  I'm also going to try the gum this time, instead of cold turkey.   Since making my quit date I have broken the habit of smoking in the car.  I thought that would be my hardest trigger to master but it was not that bad, it has given me a little confidence.  I have also read that the urges last for 3 to 10 minutes, just ride it out, well I have wanted to smoke since 12:32 pm, that is 30 minutes ago, urge is still there. This is when my confidence goes down hill.  

[elaine.5434]

Mine is also Aug. 1st and I'm scared to death that I will fail again.  I'm going to try the patches.  Good Luck.  We will do this together.  It seems their is a great support system here.  Thank you Mother Goose for the pep talk.  Keep them coming.

[jaymie2]

I quit smoking 9 days ago! Against advice, I didn't wait for a "patch" or "Chantix" or gum or another form of "stop smoking aid" I just stopped! I pray alot and God gets me thru the rough times-and there have been alot! I have smoked for nearly 30 years and I can't even remember how many times I have attempted to quit in the past, but this time I'd just had enough...enough of the morning smoker's hack, the total lack of motivation and energy, plus that look of concern and disappointment in my daughter's eyes. I have decided that smoking cigarettes is no longer an option! I am so glad this EX community exists for support, tho! Thanks for all the encouragement to and for us newbies!

[yesquit]

YES! I think I found the post that can finally help me. THANK YOU everybody. Here goes: i am a middle aged woman who smokes a little over a pack a day (lighter brands- but still not safer), sooooo, I am reallyu AFRAID to cold turkey it.

I took the becomeanex advice andhave just  started tracking my cigarettes to move towards delaying when I smoke. I know about half of my triggers, the others are just careless smoking. Today, I did managed to delay a couple of cigarettes (put them off a few minutes), but then I lost the focus to do up to five.

I think, with you guys support, I can beat this nicodemon. I never tried to quit before. Thanks so much for sharing your stories and your succeses and supporting me.

[yesquit]

I just lost my THANK YOU to Connie, so here it is again THANK YOU CONNIE for all of your advice. You made me rethink some things that will empower me to quit. You have inspired me already in the last five minutes. I feel like I am going in a vicioues circle, sometimes smoking have amount of strong ciggs, sometime smoking more of light ciggs, waening???? I 'm going to study your words of advice even though I am very scared to quit. 

[shygalincali3]

I am on day 9 now and feeling very tense and craving. I am afraid im going to give in. I want this to be my last quit. I have a baby granddaughter to live for. Please help,

thank you, Carrie

[ginger34]

You are Inspiring!!!!!!! I feel alot like you state this time around. It is a god awful addiction. I am an addict.And like you said in one of your blogs i always admitted i am addicted to nicotine but didnt think I was an addict. Strange how we can screw with our own minds isn't it? Going to add yo as a friend so I can see your blogs. Keep them coming 🙂

[bcraig4413]

I quit 34 days ago! Phew, wish I had found this site from the beginning. One day at a time, me thinks. 🙂 Good luck everyone!

[electwire]

Almost 10 weeks no ciggs Managed to go on a driving vacation and even have a few beers with a smoker and not cave in Yea

[rox9]

I have a quit date of 9/1.  What I am most afraid of is that others in my family smoke and I can't really get away from it.

[rox9]

I have a quit date of 9/1.  What I am most afraid of is that others in my family smoke and I can't really get away from it.

[musiclover007]

I quit!  Came here for support. Last smoke was yesterday. Hello!

[tracey14]

Today us my first day smoke free and so far it has not been as bad as I imagined. It's been about 16 hours so far and I'm feeling really strong. I have a great support team and the most beautiful reason on the world to quit...my little girl who is 17 months old. I am so ready to be an ex smoker.

[malyn]

Hi, thank you for the inspirational blog.  I am smoke free for 2 hours so far.  I am an addict and have kicked other addictions and have been free from all other chemicals for over 2 years now and it is now time to get rid of this last addiction of mine.  I am celebrating even though I have only 2 hours because in the past years I had a hard time making it even one hour without a smoke.  I will be exploring this site for the help I need because I know I cannot do it alone.  Thank you for being here.

[malyn]

Hi, thank you for the inspirational blog.  I am smoke free for 2 hours so far.  I am an addict and have kicked other addictions and have been free from all other chemicals for over 2 years now and it is now time to get rid of this last addiction of mine.  I am celebrating even though I have only 2 hours because in the past years I had a hard time making it even one hour without a smoke.  I will be exploring this site for the help I need because I know I cannot do it alone.  Thank you for being here.