New and hopefully last attempt to quit smoking

[christi56]

I joined this site a few years ago but did not succeed.  This time I have more important reasons for quitting and because of a sudden life change 18 mos. ago it is going to be harder to quit.  18 mos. ago the love of my life, my best friend, the person I admired most, my husband John, was killed in a motorcycle accident.  It was a beautiful sunny August afternoon and some fool ran through a stop sign and killed my husband.  John was in a coma for 3 weeks and in that time he never moved, flinched, opened his eyes, or responded to anything or anyone around him.  For 3 weeks I watched him die.  It was such a shock.  In the 3 weeks he had a birthday and we had our 42 wedding anniversary.  We have 3 sons and they lost their hero.  They were there for me and continue to be but none of them are married, so it is hard to understand how devastating losing John has been for me.  I am still grieving and the hurt will always be with me.  The day he died a big part of me died also. 

I am trying to move forward, but it is difficult especially the long nights.  I feel like I have aged at least 30 years and I have gained about 30 pounds.  I need to get healthy for myself, for my husband, and for my boys.  I am going to need a lot of help.  Anyone wanting to be a buddy or friend I would really appreciate.  I will write more about myself in a few days, but if anyone wants to comment or send me a message that would be great.

[flaroyale]

Welcome back. THis group of people have been a great source of information and help to me.  I am on day 15 and determined Not to ever smoke again.  Message me when ever you want.

Tammy

[dpop]

So incredibly sorry forn your loss. Welcome back ...we have plenty of friends/buddies in this community as you very well know.

[Dotgirl_1-28-16]

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome back to Ex

[NewMe]

I can't even imagine how devastating your loss has been. So very sorry. I can tell you that if you heed the advice here, you will find an extremely sympathetic and helpful group of people here who can help to guide you along the path to freedom from smoking. And it is a decision you will never regret. The first thing to do is to educate yourself on the nature of nicotine addiction. There is a lot of reading to do in the beginning, and others should be along shortly to provide you links to the reading.Next, we recommend daily (or twice daily,at first) visits to this site- to read and/or write blogs, ask questions, ask for and give support, and learn from others. I smoked for 44 years, and did not believe I could quit. With the help from people here, I am now smoke-free for just over 7 months. Stick around. This is a great place for support. Welcome. 

[nicolelineah]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Good job for reaching out and doing something good for yourself during your time of grief. 

[JonesCarpeDiem]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I don't know your history to know how you've tried in the past. Are you using an aid?

My page may be of help to you.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

I send my sympathy on your loss.  I hope you will find peace in all the wonderful memories you have stored in your heart

.

There are very few things in life we can control. Quitting smoking is one of them!

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested on this site

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around your head alone.  Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

[Mrs.Brock]

I am so proud of you! Here you are with your heart on your sleeve, and you are doing the hard work of caring for yourself enough to quit smoking. I admire your spirit! No doubt John is with you; watching your journey. I would be so honored to be someone whom you could talk to. I have been with my husband since I was 14, and he was 15. We are 31 and 32 now. I can only imagine how much pain you are in. Please be gentle with yourself. Know you are loved, not just by family and friends,  but all of us strangers here too! Lols. I will pray and meditate on this for you. May you continue to have strength and compassion for yourself, peace and namaste- Mrs. Brock

[marijean]

I am so sorry for your loss.I lost a daughter in 2002 I do know loss but not that of a huband.I am trying to quit with the patch but go back to a pack saying what is the diffrence?I find it is harder to get back on track when I buy a pack.I have gone from 5-6 cartons a month down to 5 packs this month and a box of patches.That is progress but not with not putting another cigarette in my mouth.Like you I struggle.I am a shut in a 55 and need surgery and am alone in a diffrent way.Please write me anytime! I would love to be your friend and I am up all night every night due to pain and am in bed during the day.I know your husband is watching over you and with you.I do beieve this with a of my heart.Hang in there it takes time to even begin to heal and this will never go away but with time can get easier it isn't time.I think, we learn to deal better at some point.I am so sorry and you are in my throughts and prayers. I admire you for fighting and again trying to quit and this time you, we will make it.Marijan