New To Group :) Advice?

[stef11]

Hello I'am new to group and my quiting date is 4/16. I'am excited and ready to get rid of this nasty addiction but some advice would help. My husband is a smoker and isnt going to quit nor does he want to... He also smokes everywhere! In the cars, the house, etc. and i know he will be of no help in tyring to limit where he smokes or around me. So any advice in how i can handle this would be deeply appreciated 🙂

[JonesCarpeDiem]

you need to get him on your side if possible not to quit but to support yours. You do that by asking him if he is willing to help you keep your health by supporting you or sabotage you at every turn?

OR

Have a place where you can go when he smokes if that it impossible.

Either choice will remind him of his smoking and protect your quit.

[Jennifer-Quit]

Read and educate yourself about this addiciton.  A good place to start is on jonescarp aka dale's page.  You can click on his avitar and it will take you there. 
Another good read is Allen Carr's book - The Easy Way to Quit Smoking.  It really helps get your head in the right place - and a good attitude will take you far in your journey to freedom from nicotine.  Many people are successful quitters and they live with smokers - I have just a little more admiration for these folks.  I hope that he will support you.  Best wishes to you and let me know if I can help in any way.

[YoungAtHeart]

Welcome to our community!

I hope your husband will listen to the voice of reason at some point.  I hope if he won't go outside, you CAN!  If he insists on smoking in the car, I would just not ride with him for awhile.  I cannot believe he would be THAT unreasonable.  Your quit, however, needs to remain your #1 priority - whatever that takes..

The most important thing you can do right now is to educate yourself on what nicotine does to your body and mind. To that end, I highly recommend Allen Carr's “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” This is an easy and entertaining read. Here is a link to a free PDF version of it:

http://media.wix.com/ugd/74fa87_2010cc5496521431188f905b7234a829.pdf

As well, read the sections on this site, and read the blogs, responses and pages of folks you think might be helpful. You might visit whyquit.com and quitsmokingonline.com for the good information contained there. You should also do the tracking and separation exercises suggested on this site

After you have completed the recommended reading, it will be time to make an informed choice of the quit aid, if any, you will use. If you go that route, I personally recommend the aids that don't let the addict control the dose such as the available prescription drugs or the patch. But – any method that you think will work well for you will be best for you.

The idea is to change up your routines so the smoking associations are reduced.  Drink your coffee with your OTHER hand. If you always had that first smoke with your coffee, try putting your tennies on right out of bed, going for a quick walk, then taking your shower and THEN your coffee! Rearrange the furniture in the areas you used to smoke so the view is different.

You need to distract yourself through any craves.  You can take a bite out of a lemon (yup - rind and all), put your head in the freezer and take a deep breath of cold air, do a few jumping jacks, go for a brisk walk or march in place, play a computer game.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around in your brain unchallenged. Sometimes you need to quit a minute or an hour at a time.  You will need to be disciplined in the early days to distract yourself when a crave hits.  Don't let that smoking thought rattle around your head alone.  Get busy!  Here is a link to a list of things to do instead of smoke if you need some fresh ideas:

https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Youngatheart.7.4.12-blog/2013/02/25/100-things-to-do-instea...

The conversation in your head in response to the "I want a cigarette" thought needs to be, "Well, since I have decided not to do that anymore, what shall I do instead for the three minutes this crave will last?"  Then DO it.  You will need to put some effort into this in the early days, but it gets easier and easier to do.

Stay close to us here and ask questions when you have them and for support when you need it. We will be with you every step of the way!

Nancy

I

[djmurray]

Welcome to EX, Stef -- You have come to the right place to get advice and support on quitting.  I also believe it's very important to read the Allen Carr book for which Nancy gave you the link.  I smoked heavily for over 50 years and I would never be able to quit, but when I decided to do it I read the Allen Carr book and it completely changed the way I felt about smoking, and the way I looked at smoking.  

We do have a number of people who are living with people who are still smoking and are doing great in their quits.  I hope some of them will reach out to you and I feel sure they will.  

Read everything you can about this addiction, stay close to this site, read the blogs, comment on the blogs and write your own.  They don't have to be perky "look how easy this is" blogs, either.  You can vent, you can scream, you can cry -- but we will do everything to help you keep your quit and not smoke over anything.  

You can do this!

[Strudel]

Welcome! Be sure to do the reading mentioned above. As far as your husband - I would suggest taking a look,at this letter. You can copy it, edit it, and use it to fit your situation. I would hope he could be convinced to smoke outside.... 

Here is the letter: https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/blogs/Anacondahead-blog/2012/01/25/letter-to-a-loved-one

[stef11]

Thanks all of you for all the advice! I know I can do this! I quit before and it would of been 3 years i was non-smoker but then I had a brain anuerysm and I started smoking again. Ya I know why would someone do this after almost dying! To face all my rehab ahead of me cause I had to relearn everything all over again, I used smoking as a crutch, to cope. I know it cured nothing and I know the only reason I survived my anuerysm was because I wasnt a smoker at the time but now I'am so addicted to coffee and nicotine it has been really hard to quit again and having a husband who smokes with the "You will never quit attitude" makes things tough.... So thanks for all your input cause I know come my quit date, which is a day away I will need positive people 🙂 So thanks so much! Going to start reading tonight!